The Hired GOONS Act

[Kzoppistan]

Now all I need is someone I don't like enough to pay for their destruction.


Hmmmm....

*sweeps eyes over crowd*

[Jakome]

[quote name='Sardonic' date='12 June 2010 - 08:16 AM' timestamp='1276355790' post='2334983']
You guys are missing the point, this is far more than mere tech raiding. This is getting paid for destruction over a defined time period. It has worked in the past, and I have the utmost confidence it will work in the future.
[/quote]
So what you're saying is, you're getting paid to tech raid?

[cristoir]

What I don't get is who would actually need this service. Surely if an alliance had a problem with an unprotected nation that they had no one in range of they would get one of their allies who did to help them for free instead of paying GOONs. The only alliances who would need this serivce are those without treatys and i dont see GPA or WTF using this.

Edited June 12, 2010 by cristoir

[The Syndic]

[quote name='ChairmanHal' date='12 June 2010 - 12:58 AM' timestamp='1276322289' post='2334683']
I look forward to seeing how this works in [i]practice[/i], as opposed to the [i]theory[/i] in the OP.
[/quote]

It worked out nicely in practice for the IAA. We were even gifted with a delightful comedic masterpiece due to our hiring of the GOONS.

[BaQuabah]

Good stuff, I wish I would have been payed when I bullied kids in highschool.

Edited June 12, 2010 by BaQuabah

[steodonn]

[quote name='cristoir' date='12 June 2010 - 05:17 PM' timestamp='1276359433' post='2335056']
What I don't get is who would actually need this service. Surely if an alliance had a problem with an unprotected nation that they had no one in range of they would get one of their allies who did to help them for free instead of paying GOONs. The only alliances who would need this serivce are those without treatys and i dont see GPA or WTF using this.
[/quote]

If their allies don't have many nations in range ready to go

Its a great service to have when needed and some people will need it

[xoindotnler]

I love how the fine print has more words than the rest.

Blabla GOONS bad, Rebel Virginia good.

[Hadrian]

Shaky ground here, but it's a nice idea.

[Canik]

If you could hire them to attack protected nations that would be nice. There are a bunch of nations being protected by MK, GOD, and PC that I'd like to see attacked. About 335 of them. They are almost all low tier nations so it shouldn't be too expensive. If you choose to accept this mission we will pay you handsomely.

[Beefspari]

[quote name='cristoir' date='12 June 2010 - 10:17 AM' timestamp='1276359433' post='2335056']
What I don't get is who would actually need this service. Surely if an alliance had a problem with an unprotected nation that they had no one in range of they would get one of their allies who did to help them for free instead of paying GOONs. The only alliances who would need this serivce are those without treatys and i dont see GPA or WTF using this.
[/quote]
It's okay if you don't need or don't know anyone who would need to use it. We're offering a service to see if it works out. We've done this in the past on a case-by-case basis and it's gotten us a fair bit of cash for lowbies, so we decided to make a public announcement and see how it goes. This may work out as something we upkeep and it may not. It may turn out there's far too few people needing this sort of thing for us to keep offering it, and we'll continue to do it on a case-by-case basis for friends.

I also think a few people are confused about the finer details of how this work, so:

You can come to us to wage any wars on targets you need/want, but they have to be acceptable targets per our charter. A short version means either they're unaligned or in a non-protected AA of 14 or less. If however you do get some sort of diplomatic clearance for a larger AA or a protected one we can go with that. Them being a ghost is also acceptable. But we will check on these things before diving head-first into something. If you just come and say "Hey I want to give you 30m to attack a guy in FOK," it's not gonna happen. In this manner we make sure we don't get into any more trouble than we already get ourselves into on a daily basis, and we don't have any political backlash (except from people like RV who tell us how we're immoral).

Depending on how this pans out though, we MAYBE MIGHT POSSIBLY eventually work out some sort of system where we can attack protected or allied nations. However, it will always be on behalf of the paying nations and who is paying for what won't be kept a secret. People won't be able to use us to skirt responsibility or push it onto GOONS. However, I can't promise this program will ever advance down this particular path, and definitely not anytime in the forseeable future. I can't stress enough that this is so far in the future that it's not even worth discussing, and in all likelyhood may not even happen at all.

The starting price is 3m, but we may ask for more if it's a larger or more dangerous target. You can offer a price if you want but it's unlikely we're going to haggle or anything. We'll pick a price we feel is fair for the target involved. If you think all you need to pay for a nuclear rogue is 3m, it doesn't work that way.

Money will be handled and diverted to other goon nations in some cases. If you pay to have some larger nations take down a strong rogue or something, giving those guys 3m is a waste of a slot, so we'd instead have you filter that money down to some smaller nations who could make better use of it.

This isn't about tech raiding, but rather war. You'll likely be handing us targets we wouldn't be attacking otherwise. We do a lot of tech raiding ourselves, but if you pass us a guy with no tech, that's where the mercenary/incentive program comes in. Waging war on people who have nothing to take is unprofitable. However, if paid for, we'll use everything at our disposal to destroy the target.

Any other questions?

Edited June 12, 2010 by Beefspari

[Yevgeni Luchenkov]

Yes.

Do you do group deals?

I mean, there's 335 of you. That means 1005 millions, at your basic rate. Do you do discounts if we hire all of the alliance, for example?

'Cause, for 750 millions, next war, I'm seriously hiring all of GOONS. We'll have [i]plenty[/i] of legitimate targets, I'm sure.

[Canik]

[quote name='Yevgeni Luchenkov' date='12 June 2010 - 01:17 PM' timestamp='1276366610' post='2335205']
Yes.

Do you do group deals?

I mean, there's 335 of you. That means 1005 millions, at your basic rate. Do you do discounts if we hire all of the alliance, for example?

'Cause, for 750 millions, next war, I'm seriously hiring all of GOONS. We'll have [i]plenty[/i] of legitimate targets, I'm sure.
[/quote]

See I was thinking hire half of them at 500 millions and just have them attack the other half. I'd be willing to pay another 500 million to the remaining side once the job was finished.

[Mandellav]

=LOST= has been doing this for years. Did someone file an anti-monopoly suit on us that I'm not aware of?

Funny announcement GOONS.

[Mikeyrox]

[quote name='Mandellav' date='12 June 2010 - 05:07 PM' timestamp='1276376845' post='2335387']
=LOST= has been doing this for years. Did someone file an anti-monopoly suit on us that I'm not aware of?

Funny announcement GOONS.
[/quote]

Maybe its a sign we should redecorate our offices?