Max Cristof Posted July 4, 2010 Report Share Posted July 4, 2010 [center][img]http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/7715/mkapproved.jpg[/img][/center] Hello dear readers. Tonight I bring you another edition of the ODN's one Fine Publication. This week's issue will bring you inside a top secret poker match and bring you the latest news from the Cybernations World Cup! Stay tuned for more... [center][img]http://myvillageblue2.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/poker_chips.jpg[/img][/center] Recently, it has come to the attention of OFP that some secret betting has occurred in the dark rooms of the Athens government chambers. Today's elite have even been seen joining the Archon eponymos for a game of poker with the most interesting of wagers... [i] The room was dark, and reeked of pretzels and cigar smoke. Londo Mollari's eyes darted over his cards as he pulled a long brown cigar from his lips and tapped out the ash. "I'll see your UPN treaty, and raise you a Zero Hour Protectorate!" he murmured across the table. Xiphosis' eyes widened and he dropped his cards as he leaned back in his chair. "I fold." "Likewise. Getting too heavy for me." said a dejected Joracy. “The ODN just can’t deal with this kind of commitment.” "Your call, Hubb." Londo looked across the table and tried to catch a sign from Hubb in the dim light of the room but saw nothing in his steely eyes. "Well, interesting Mr. Mollari. I’ll raise you M*A*S*H. They’re pretty inactive at the moment, and are interested in a merger with us. After =LOST= turned you down, you guys must be reeling. Wanna try your luck?” "I’m listening” croaked Londo, as he held back a cough. "Think of the possibilities! You could get a sanction. Complaints and Grievances with not two but THREE sanctioned alliances. You'd be unstoppable…" "Haha, $%&@ that, I fold." said Londo as he threw down his hand, revealing a royal flush. “You can have them” "!@#$. Foiled again.” Muttered Hubb, barely heard over the noise of laughter from the other end of the table. [/i] [center][img]http://www.foothillcougars.com/athletics/boyssoccer/soccer-player.jpg[/img][/center] [center][size=3] [color="#0000FF"][b]SPORTS CENTER[/b][/color][/size] [/center] Hey there Sports Fans! As you all know the Cybernations World Cup is well into its 4th week as we move further into the knock-out stages. An underdog before the cup, the Orange Defense Network showed a lot of promise in their defeat of their colonial overlords, the Mushroom Kingdom however when asked to comment on the matter, Head Coach Archon refused to speak to OFP. However all wouldn't last for the Orange Defense Network as two-time champions and the same team that beat the ODN out in the last cup, Athens, managed to pull a fast one on them in special time with an early goal. I managed to speak to Joracy, one of the coaches for the team, after the match. <Joracy> Well you know we played a good match and we came a long way but when it came down to it we just couldn't go for that last goal. Londo Mollari, Archon of Athens is quite happy with the way his team is playing, saying their new training processes are the key to their success. <Londo> Athenian children are taught to play soccer with grenades. If they can't kick it on time they lose a limb. <Londo> We also teach them how to run fast by charging at them with bayonets <Londo> It's quite exciting really. <OFP> We have no further questions at this time... However, the Athenian soccer team will meet with stiff competition tomorrow when they play Pacifica. Starting off with early victories and runner-up in their group, the new team is certainly a force to be reckoned with. To commemorate their success on the pitch, the New Pacific Order has begun to wear pips in the shape of a cleat. (That is at least what OFP can make of it.) After being denied entrance to the practice field where the Pacifican Football team was training, OFP managed to get one of the officials to comment on the team's performance. <Official> Well you know they keep saying bring on the cup, bring on the cup, and their kids are playin real strong. <OFP> But? <Official> You can definitely feel a sense of "Anti-Pacifica" feelings among the refs here at the CN World Cup. Off-sides when there are none and foul calls on people who aren't touching anybody. The official isn't wrong here. OFP reports that Pacifica's performance, although strong, has been highly stinted by the refs at their games. With 2 victories and 2 draws in their group, Pacifica could have easily come out further if it hadn't been for an off-sides call, denying a possible game winning goal against the New Polar Order thus ending the match in a 2-2 tie. That's all for now folks. Stay tuned with One Fine Publication: Sports Center to keep tabs with all Cybernations World Cup news. [center][img]http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1aBaX9GPSaQ/0.jpg[/img][/center] [b]ODN Elections! [/b] This is an ODN newspaper right? That's right. We had elections. These past two weeks, ODNers and ODNistas have been exercising their "democratic right" to vote by walking down to the local elementary school and checking the box next to their favored candidates for our Secretary General and Senate! Our recent election has seen a near unanimous re-election of our Secretary General. However is it fair to say "elected" when all the names are the same? OFP investigates. [b]Democracy:[/b] –noun, plural -cies. 1. government by the people; a form of government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised directly by them or by their elected agents under a free electoral system. Is it? Is it [i]really[/i]? One could say that any system where the public participates in the election of their leaders is a democracy. However there are whispers in the "public" of a near invisible group of people that some refer to as "The Shadow Government." Some reports that the Shadow Government is responsible for the selection for our government long before they even join the network. How is this possible you ask? Well OFP knows exactly who to ask. [quote]Pingu: I have no idea what you're talking about.[/quote] [quote]Cataduanes: I'm sorry what?[/quote] [quote]Style #386: Who?[/quote] Er...I suppose that ends that. Congratulations to the new government! We hope you start of well so we all know who to blame later! Well that's all folks. I thank you for joining us in another exciting issue of One Fine Publication. I hope as always, you feel more informed than before you started reading but still have no idea what's going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirWilliam Posted July 4, 2010 Report Share Posted July 4, 2010 Confirming MK approved this. Eat your hearts out, CN. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dementual Posted July 4, 2010 Report Share Posted July 4, 2010 This was one fine publication ODN. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banksy Posted July 4, 2010 Report Share Posted July 4, 2010 (edited) MK fired the original editing panel for 'insubordination.' Curse you MK Edited July 4, 2010 by Banksy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omniscient1 Posted July 4, 2010 Report Share Posted July 4, 2010 (edited) Good as always, but Banksy done it better. Edited July 5, 2010 by Omniscient1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Cristof Posted July 5, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 [quote name='Omniscient1' date='04 July 2010 - 08:00 PM' timestamp='1278287995' post='2359793'] Good as always, but Banksy done it better. [/quote] I know. Aren't I terrible? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omniscient1 Posted July 5, 2010 Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 You're awful Max Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevanovia Posted July 5, 2010 Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 It's good, but it's no OCWL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omniscient1 Posted July 5, 2010 Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 [quote name='Kevanovia' date='05 July 2010 - 02:14 AM' timestamp='1278292445' post='2359834'] It's good, but it's no OCWL [/quote] This too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalasin Posted July 5, 2010 Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 What're you talking about, this !@#$@#$ owns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believland Posted July 5, 2010 Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 [quote name='Max Cristof' date='04 July 2010 - 07:55 PM' timestamp='1278287709' post='2359785'] [i] "Likewise. Getting too heavy for me." said a dejected Joracy. "The ODN just can't deal with this kind of commitment." [/i] [/quote] What a shame. I always thought ODN came through with treaties. Good publication, merry men. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Londo Mollari Posted July 5, 2010 Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 (edited) I laughed at the poker game. Also, Athens Athletic FC 4 lyfe. Edited July 5, 2010 by Londo Mollari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OsRavan Posted July 5, 2010 Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 Nice work guys! As usual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Syndic Posted July 5, 2010 Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 A good read. I enjoyed the poker game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cotillion Posted July 5, 2010 Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 The poker game was good, the rest not so much. If Banksy wasn't Banksy then he'd have done it better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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