Ayreonaut Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 [i]Once per decade, the Guild of Farkistani Inventors, Designers, & Industrialists of the State meets to induct new members. These elite few are chosen for creating inventions deemed "Most likely to Change Farkistan Society for the Better." Without further ado, let's take a look at this years' inventions! [/i] [i] [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_29_07_10_9_41_43.jpeg[/img] [b]Kahiel[/b], inventor of the 'Gride' has been commended for sacrificing his (her?) first born child in a demonstration of the product. Grides have been placed with national defense in mind at playgrounds near problem-area border crossings. A trail of Reese's Pieces candy leads to the top of the device. So far, the results have ranged from "Horrendously effective. Oh god what has science done?!" to "strangely hypnotic." [/i] [i] [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_29_07_10_9_42_49.jpeg[/img] If you're like me, you can't stand it when you run out of paper to eat. We've all been there before: having to push some little kid down in the street to steal their notebook, the crowd jeering as you rip the book apart and jam piece after piece into your mouth, the police spraying mace in your eyes... Well, thanks to [b]ManwithPlanX[/b]'s invention, you'll never have to suffer through the humiliation again. This is the Emergency Paper Halo! [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_29_07_10_9_34_49.jpeg[/img] [b]bmckenna[/b] gained recognition by making it possible to nuke your enemies without having to leave the bar or the toilet and drive all the way to the silo. He unveiled the USB Nuke Button and demonstrated the device by plugging into a laptop and nuking himself; all from the comfort of his favorite pub! He will be sorely missed. [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_29_07_10_9_36_34.jpeg[/img] Our next invention existed only in theory until a radical breakthrough by [b]Ironone[/b]. Now your favorite drinks can be enjoyed via eyedrops! No food or drinks beyond this point? No problem! Dry, red eyes? Blow it out your *&@ Ben Stein! Double-vodka martini trumps Clear Eyes®. [/i] [i][img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_29_07_10_9_37_55.jpeg[/img] Nuclear recovery efforts have been revolutionized thanks to successful testing of mass-produced Disposable Infrastructure. [b]Binuru[/b] was inducted after patenting the manufacturing process, which involves combining asbestos, broken glass, dead kittens, and a spectrum of wildly toxic chemicals to make this quick, affordable, deadly, deadly housing. [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_29_07_10_9_38_35.jpeg[/img] This year's bacon-related invention award goes to [b]Tums[/b], for the mad-scientist team creation of Bacon Toothpaste. It doesn't prevent cavities, but it has a smokey maple flavor that will leave you feeling great and greasy! 5 out of 5 dentists agree: "I'll say whatever you want! Please don't hit me again!" [img]http://www.farkistan.org/gallery/500_29_07_10_9_39_31.jpeg[/img] [b]Raving Mainy_Yak[/b] has been researching hangover cures for 25 years. The culmination of those years is the new UFIA brand Anti-Hangover suppository. Once in place, the product releases a steady stream of habañero pepper oil, tylenol, french fry grease, and a hint of citric acid to leave your butt feeling lemony-fresh! Farkistani life continues to improve, thanks to innovators like these. I hope this ceremony will inspire the next generation to step up and try something stupid and dangerous; you might just find yourself inducted into the GFID&IS. Let's all give another round of applause for our honored inventors! [/i] tl;dr [b]Council:[/b] Kahiel, SotC ManwithPlanX bmckenna Ironone Binuru [b]Squirrel (MoFA):[/b] Tums [b]Submitter (President):[/b] Raving Mainy_Yak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevlar Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 I approve of this message. Frankly, I'll be dedicating 75% of my nation's economy toward Gride development throughout Greater Sasquatchia. May the strong survive with the skin grafts of champions. Congrats on a fine erection and to the many erectees! -Kev Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayreonaut Posted August 1, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 I for one welcome the return of Farkistan's Evil Bovine Overlord. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obfuse Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 Hooray Farkistan! /mod butthurt in 3... 2... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RavingMainyYak Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 [quote name='Ayreonaut' timestamp='1280673373' post='2397061'] [b]Raving Mainy_Yak[/b] has been researching hangover cures for 25 years. [/quote] My research actually extends much further back in time. /Let the oppression begin //also, we are doomed, as usual Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daikos Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 Congrats to all my [s]lovers[/s] allies in Fark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UltimateDogg Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 all hail our new overlords Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Miller Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 (edited) I'm very happy to see Tums in there, congrats! Edited August 1, 2010 by Matt Miller Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinfat Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 Listen, and understand. That Raving Mainy_Yak is out there. He can't be bargained with. He can't be reasoned with. He doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And he absolutely will not stop, ever, until we are dead. /our level of internal doom now goes to 11. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prozenz Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 Fark! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cable77 Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 Congratulations to all. I think Fark is in good hands. Enjoy the time off, Jim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TumultuousPapaya Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 I was told to come in here and make a drunk post in the glorious fashion of last night's, but I'll reserve myself for your own sakes Congrats to everyone erected; it's great to see a new face in Council (Bin ). As for our newest Yak in the Subby seat, [s]what a sucker[/s] congrats (note: he's certainly not new), and I promise to keep him in line! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcturus Jefferson Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 (edited) Jim is dead, long live Yak / //gratz fark Edited August 1, 2010 by Arcturus Jefferson Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleak Outlook Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 Congratulations to the winners, and "up-yours" to everyone else. I dream of the day when I can pee on your scorched, hollowed-out corpses. And your moms. Also, LOL at the last image. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeTheFirst Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 Looks as good as ever. Carry on the great job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunder Strike Posted August 2, 2010 Report Share Posted August 2, 2010 Congrats to the new govt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ominae Posted August 2, 2010 Report Share Posted August 2, 2010 It bears repeating. We are DOOMED. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookavich Posted August 2, 2010 Report Share Posted August 2, 2010 Sad to see RJ out of gov. I considered him to be a great friend for Polaris, and will sorely miss him. That being said, good luck to the rest of you. *something about beer, boobies, and bacon* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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