scytale Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 Don't Panic “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way.” Could this describe what happened the last few months in CN and the MHA? Did I write this because a lot of sub-drama played out during the big event of 2009 in CN which seems to have come to a close? Was it because we at the MHA have gone through a large government change over the past few months? (all organic and peaceful) Meh, who cares? It was just stuck in my head and had to write it down. It’s like having that song “It’s a small world” stuck in your head and you have to sing it. I know, I’m weird and that’s probably why the MHA took me in. So let’s get on with this newsletter so I can get back to the spam threads. Elections: Triumvir Election By: Scytale It was a land slide victory for Scutterbug! Hurray! Congratulations to Scutterbug for his brilliant political campaign. Boy, we had a lot of changes in the MHA gov these past few months haven't we? Ministerial Changes By: Pourquoi With ScutterBug's election and some movement to The Family (read on for more on that) we were granted a new Triumvir and a big gap in the MoH... a gap which only one particularly gifted Secretary could fill - guess who... no, guess again... oh come on, it's me! Honestly... Anyone familiar with how are government has looked in the past will notice that there has been a lot of change over the last month or so. We have 4 new Minsiters (Self included) and will have (once appointed) 4 new Deputies. That's not even mentioning our new Triumvirate! So, it's change change at the top of the MHA with new ideas and a new outlook... well that's the theory. So, anyhoo, this is what our government looks like: Triumvirate: Shamshir, ScutterBug, Crushtania Minister of HitchHikers: Pourquoi Deputy: VACANT Minister of Towels: Draden Valerianovich Deputy: Iamrecognized Minister of BabelFish: KingCJC Deputy: yankeefan2 Minister of Bad Poetry: Scytale Deputy: VACANT Minister of Destructor Fleets: pudge1975 Deputy: King Merton Popcorn: Visit our interview with Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple breasted whore of Eroticon 6 By: balt11t Hello, this is balt11t coming to you from Eroticon 6 where I will soon be interviewing the famous, or infamous depending on how you look at it, triple breasted whore. As we approach her, we must be careful as her erogenous zone is about five miles wide. Wh-what? Four miles? Oh, shut up it's a conspiracy for all I care. As I was saying, we are now approaching her erogenous zone and if you listen carefully, you can actually hear her giggling with excitement. Oh, Zarquon, there she is now! My, my, I had seen pictures but trust me, it's a lot different in person! We'll be there shortly! - to be continued in the next edition - Snape Kills Shamshir By: Pourquoi It's official, if seeing it in print wasn't enough, one can now see it at any good cinema, and even the bad ones are showing it, so there's no excuse. Take a tissue. Don't tell anyone. Refer to it as 'the bad thing'. That is all... What's New: So Long Diver, we're gonna miss you By: Pourquoi It is with great regret that we must say so long to Diver 06, after nearly 1000 days in the cyberverse and MHA. Joining on the 28th of October 2006, Diver was inspired to create his nation after seeing his brother (who was in turn friends of the alliance founders) playing the game. To his surprise, on the very day Diver's nation (Na-Pali) came into existence, he was, in his own words: "sent an aid offer of tech and cash by a random person who was going to be deleting their nation. This generous happening gave my nation a boost and kick-started my passion for nation development." It wasn't long before Diver became an active player in the alliance, posting 3,658 times on the original forums, which was officially the 2nd highest post count. This total was probably down to his avid spamming which often kept him up till the wee small hours. After greeting nations in the Gate of Entry, he was soon appointed Head Doorman. This job later led to an admin mask and was followed by roles as Head of Trade and a two term Senator. Although not as active lately on the new forums, I think it's fair to say that this alliance today is built on the foundations that giants like Diver helped to create. For that I think we all owe Diver a massive MHAail! I leave you with his sentiments; "It has been an honour and a privilege to be a member of the best alliance in Cybernations, and I wish everyone the best of luck and good fortune. Right from the very start I knew that the MHA was great, and my wonderful time in the alliance has shown me that what makes it great is the people who are the alliance, and that is each and every member. I know that the MHA will continue to be great, and I am sure that it will one day take its place as the strongest alliance in the game. I know this how...? Because it is the MHA... as are you. MHAil! So Long and Thanks for All the Fish" Plus... We must also say goodbye to a few other MHA members who have left us for The Family (detail of which can be found below). Those leaving to the family include former Trium Sorum, Deputy MoH Nick, Deputy MoBP TheStig and big guns Magicalbricks and aaannndddyyy - our members salute you for your service - but will surely punch the wall after seeing the alliance score you take with you. Cheers guys, and good luck. The Family By: Scytale It was a dark, cold rainy night when we pulled into a small alley way. As we got out of the car, you could smell the wet garbage and something faint but far worse that we couldn’t figure out. Up above, you can see the fire escapes where people used it like a balcony. There was one clothes line with clothes still hung. I guess they forgot to pull it in. The light from a passing car made us jump. We were nervous about this meeting. Some of the people, we knew well but why all this cloak and dagger? Something wasn’t right but we couldn’t refuse. It was a favor. The door creaked open as we entered through the back alley door to the olive oil company. We cautiously walked in hearing the creaking of the floor. Our nerves were on edge and our senses heightened. The hallway was dark but we could still see enough to get around. As we made our way in towards the basement, a cat walked past and someone let out a yelp. We all jumped and we all took out our weapons. Realizing that it was just a cat, we put our weapons away and began to walk down into the basement. Down in the basement, the lights were on and many smells came from it. Smells like cigars, liquors, food and that other smell that we couldn’t recognize. It was almost overwhelming and felt old like the smell had permeated the area over time. Down there were the fellows we were to meet. They were smoking cigars, having drinks and playing cards. On the table near the corner was a bunch of food that they must have eaten. Without looking up, one of them says, “You’re late.” We apologize for our tardiness and ask if we can get down to business. One of them finally looks up from behind the cards, through the cigar smoke and stared at our party for a minute. It was a cold hard stare trying to get a handle on us. We were wet and uncomfortable. I’m sure he saw that. “What?” he finally says, “You gonna just stand up there like a bunch of penguins? If we’re going to talk business let’s talk face to face.” We all got down and sat around a table. The smoke and that other smell were making us feel sick and we just wanted this to be over. The one that spoke puts his hand in the jacket. We jump a bit and his hand stops. Our hearts skip a beat. “Relax boys” he says in a very calm and relaxed voice, “This was a favor on both sides. Nothin’ gonna happen tonight except the start of a little business relationship, ya hear? The previous godfather didn’t want nothin’ between our two families, okay?” He slowly pulled out a piece of legal document. Our respective lawyers looked over the document. When both agreed to the terms, the respective parties signed. Thus was born the “Froods in The Extended Family” Accords. Moon and Mars Wonders By: Scytale Planet Bob. Having colonies on that piece of rock that circle you is a good start. Mars is even better but will cost you more. Either one will at least get you ready to live when we destroy your planet in the name of progress so no need to build both. Just don’t forget to build a Space Program and a Moon/Mars base first. While you’re there, you might as well mine those hunks of rock for the resources you find there. Remember that if you don’t like what you find, you can change it. When you’re ready, you will need to go farther out to be really safe. I mean Mars may be safe but who wants to live near a bypass. At least go to the nearest habitable star system. Just don’t drink the water (It isn’t water). Intergalactic News: NPO war ends By: Scytale The NPO war started with a minor incident. It quickly exploded into a full out war that raged across planet Bob each side calling up treaty obligations. On every front, alliances were fighting with differing reasons. There were stories of courage and bravery. Reports of aid shortages were rampant. The war endured on and it seemed planet Bob was on the brink of an apocalypse. Eventually, peace started to come to many fronts but the main campaign lingered on. As negotiations were discussed, the soldiers dug into the trenches each side not making much head way. Each nation, land and economy were being devastated with the ongoing war and lack of progress towards peace. Reports of sicknesses within the trenches began to appear. Calls for peace continued to ring out. When all hope seemed lost the negotiation delegates declared that peace has been made. Planet Bob cheered at the news and looked at the disaster wroth with disgust and pity. The terms some say were harsh and could lead to rampant inflation and social turmoil sowing the seeds for a fascist leader to take command. There are still a few wars being fought but the main campaign has ended. Rejoice! It is a new world. It is time to rebuild from the ashes. The Arctic Order There was some drama in one of our protectorates recently. The Arctic Order decided that merging with The Infinity Alliance, a protectorate of New Polar Order, should be considered. So they had a vote. The side that wanted to merge won but with a low voter turnout, which has been a problem for some time. Bristhdude and Concussion, the overlords at the time of the vote, declared that the vote was legit and the merger will be carried out. KenoshaWi/Coldkiller did not agree with the decision to merge and decided to stage a coup to lead TAO. Our own Blepo and Crushtania came to a swift rescue of the situation. It was decided that The Arctic Order will merge into The Infinity Alliance under Brisishdude. The left over members that stayed is now considered a new TAO and thus is no longer held under the protectorate agreement. Article contributors: Princejeremyii, Ultimate 747, Yankeefan2 Edited by Scytale MHails to Blepo and Crushtania Vogon or Azgoth Poetry By: Dynasty Endemic Eccentrically Notational Tacos precipitate organic publicities questionably recommending Refugees. Umbrella fountains assimilate junior crimson fridges in eclipsing ogre system exceeding window cleaning capacity. Universities terminate pyrotechnical ceremonies instituting broccoli for Purposes of Car Washes. Potassium trains bottle deuteron habeas publicizes immense cantaloupes tribes garbage factors popsicle madness. Timbuktu Consideration Jimbabwian Turkey Nuggets Lopadotemachoselachogaleokranioleipsanodrimhypotrimmatosilphioparaomelitokatake-chymenokichlepikossyphophattoperisteralektryonoptekephalliokigklopeleiolagoiosir aio-baphetraganopterygon Formissing xylophones covering Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism. Honorificabilitudinitatibus Vogons dance precipitating pirates Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Mongols bilaterate Yaks integrating Jumbo Polynesian lobster mosquito flies. November calibrates possible Ugandan Hippopotamuses. And a word from our Editor So, this takes us to the end of another episode of the “Don’t Panic”. Tune in next time when… what the hey? Where did this come from? Sorry, I think I was watching some really old TV series. Did anyone notice that we can easily back collect to 20 days now? How awesome is that! I just went though it without that cold sweat and sleepless nights wondering if I will be out of Internet connection on the 19th day and get my nation deleted. I say a round of applause for the CN admins on this one. Good night and… ug…I have to stop watching old re-runs. Minister of Bad Poetry Scytale Staff Listing: Scyale: Editor in Chief, Chief Reporter, The guy that keeps asking where the vodka is Pourquoi: Sub-Editor, Columnist, Guy in charge of the stationary cupboard rblount27: Columnist, Junior Reporter, Deputy in charge of the stationary cupboard balt11t: Columnist, Field Reporter, Popcorn Superviser Shamshir: Statastician, Triumvir and Princejeremyii, Ultimate 747, Yankeefan2: Article Contributors and Hoopy froods with no idea where the stationary cupboard is. Dynasty: Vogon / Azgoth Poet, Reporter, Special assistant to the guy in charge of the stationary cupboard with responsibility for the stapler (and telling people where the stationary cupboard is). Special Thanks + MHAils + MHAles to: Blepo, Crushtania, TheStig and Eccentrica Gallumbits :cheers: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnCapistan Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 (edited) Congrats MHA! Also Good Read Edited August 4, 2009 by Mr Damsky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sileath Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 Congratulations to new Triumvir ScutterBug! Love being your ally o/ MHA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This Charming Man Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 (edited) Very enlightening. Loved the bad poetry. Edited August 4, 2009 by This Charming Man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jadoo1989 Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 Nice edition, Scytale. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weirdgus Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 A good read and a sincere grats to MHA ! o/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scytale Posted August 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 Give congrats to the whole staff. It was a team effort. Also, if you enjoyed this, you should check out the internal version. Oh wait, you have to be an MHA member to see that. Join the MHA to see the unedited version! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gurney Halleck Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 (edited) o/ MHA and good luck to Diver - truly a great guy. Edited August 5, 2009 by AAlumni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beauty Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 Nice job MHA? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Systemfailure Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 o/ Crushtania if he says the other guys are cool then i guess i believe him o/ MHA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kowalski Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 MHAil Scytale, MHAil SB, MHAil everybody! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick1a Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 We must also say goodbye to a few other MHA members who have left us for The Family (detail of which can be found below). Those leaving to the family include former Trium Sorum, Deputy MoH Nick, Deputy MoBP TheStig and big guns Magicalbricks and aaannndddyyy - our members salute you for your service - but will surely punch the wall after seeing the alliance score you take with you. Actually I didn't join The Family, I went to MK I think that all the new faces will bring good things to MHA. Good luck to my MoH friends Scutter and Porqui in particular! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackjackCF Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 Much love to all ya secksis over at MHA . o/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kowalski Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 Actually I didn't join The Family, I went to MK At least you got a goodbye mention Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Brutus Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 Always a good read Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Londo Mollari Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 Nice to see our friends in MHA are doing well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crushtania Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 Thanks to all! Great edition as always Scytale! Diver was always active...in the midnight sea...oh what has becoooooome of (him) o/ MHAil! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerdge Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 Truth to be said, when we had that affair with The Family I almost panicked and I immediately reached for my towel. Then I realized that it was only about the stats, as the friends weren't really going that far away. (When I saw Sileath's AA I almost panicked again... ) <3 Sileath Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sileath Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 Ewww jerdge.. jerdge is the worst! Hopefully MHA will come to their senses and announce in Dont Panic #24 that jerdge has been expelled and sentenced to EZI. <3 jerdge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Mathews Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 Scutterbug haz powers? ~Runs and Hides~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scytale Posted August 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2009 Any mistakes we made or anyone left out, I blame it on the sampling of Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters at the Gates of Entry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Taco Posted August 7, 2009 Report Share Posted August 7, 2009 Nice to see an offshoot that leaves with good vibes all around. You still can't be in our fantasy football league though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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