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Lübeck makes yet... ANOTHER announcement


Franz Ferdinand

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"The state of Lübeck wishes to announce to the world that we have appointed a new Minister af Underholdning, for whom, some of you will take close to your hearts, he is so popular, that the world literally revolves around him, therefore, it is with great pleasure that we wish to announce that the figure we have appointed is none other than Richard Paul Astley. That is all at this time."

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Imperial Dispatch:

The Haruhiist Empire hereby bans the Lübeckian minister from performing, touring, or even visiting our nation. We hereby proclaim a 5,000 yard restraining order. Any other officials of Lübeck, however, are exempt of this rule. Haruhi knows much of the evils of Rick Astley.

Signed,

Itsuki Koizumi

Imperial MoFA

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"Lübeck shall be taking Cruise-Liners, arming them with Boomboxes, Speakers and a continuous loop of him singing his most famous hit(s). These ships shall be housed 5001 yards from the coastline of the most populous cities of the Haruhiist Empire, and shall not be stopped. There shall be a armed guard to make sure that no 'terrorists' attempt to hijack them."

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"Lübeck shall be taking Cruise-Liners, arming them with Boomboxes, Speakers and a continuous loop of him singing his most famous hit(s). These ships shall be housed 5001 yards from the coastline of the most populous cities of the Haruhiist Empire, and shall not be stopped. There shall be a armed guard to make sure that no 'terrorists' attempt to hijack them."

"Hmm... One would wonder if this would have any negative side effects on marine life in the immediate area. Before following through with this plan, we propose a long, in-depth study to discover the effects of long term exposure to high concentations of sound, Rick Astley's specifically, on aquatic (semi-)sentient lifeforms. The results should be there in oh... ten years?"

"Also, we wish to add that we have no sea access ourselves, and therefore regretfully cannot conduct such a study. Most unfortunate."

Edited by Amyante
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Mr. Richard Paul Atsley will be viewed as breaking the spirit of our treaty should he come into Imperial Waters. Furthermore, we would like to thank him for all of his work; it's done a significant portion of training for the Imperial Angry Marines.

Edited by Shadowsage
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Mr. Richard Paul Atsley will be viewed as breaking the spirit of our treaty should he come into Imperial Waters. Furthermore, we would like to thank him for all of his work; it's done a significant portion of training for the Imperial Angry Marines.

Are they under influence of drugs? Seems like they had a bit too much steroids.

Or was it because Richard Paul Astley drove them into insanity?

Edited by HHAYD
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Taeunas hereby declares Mr. Astley persona non grata and an enemy of the people. We are also considering charging him with crimes against humanity.

Should this thing come within striking range of any Taeunas military unit, we WILL NOT hesitate to eliminate it.

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Minister Richard Astley has been officially declared Public Enemy #1 in the CAU and a shoot-on-sight order has been issued to everyone. Including tanks and aircraft.

"Richard Astley wishes to thank you for the armed escort that you wish to provide for him, yet it won't be necessary, we have our own security ready for him."

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"Rick Astley is banned from Drakoria, and should he come within range of one of our ships, missile turrets, islands, etc., his ship will be shot and sank. Unarmed ships are now arming themselves with both weaponry and expensive entertainment systems, and 'real music.' In other news, the heavy metal CD industry is now booming."

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"Richard Astley wishes to thank you for the armed escort that you wish to provide for him, yet it won't be necessary, we have our own security ready for him."

You must not understand us. The order was issued to all soldiers and sailors to shoot Minister Astley if he ever enters the CAU.

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Angry Marines are, indeed always angry. All the time. But they have only been exposed to the same alteration procedures as the elite Adeptus Custodes. That is to say, implants, hormonal treatments, and light genetic alteration.

A few of the Angry Marines even have specified miniatures, created because of how much the populace loves them. They are known to destroy traitors for the Inquisition under the command of their Commissar Fuklaw.

They hate traitors with a passion.

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