It begins. I'm only doing alliances I think about until the moment this escapes my attention (so five seconds)
NPO: Vader. I've never been a big Vader fan....well, wait. Nobody's a huge Vader fan. But most can acknowledge his accomplishments and the fact that one time he popped his eye back into socket mid-match. Yeah, that happened. The main reason I picked Vader for NPO, though, is I thought "who is deceptively quick for their size" and immediately thought "the guy who was really similar to a bowling ball"
NpO: Kane. Very few times has Kane been "the guy," and his new gimmick really sucks (which is actually the opposite for Polar I think, they've grown on me) but he's always been hovering around the upper midcard scene. A big guy who did the flying clothesline more often than you'd think. Resigned to a lot of punch matches with bad wrestlers.
IRON: Eugene. I'm not gonna get into it.
C&G (as a whole): John Cena. Very kid friendly. Needs a heel turn to stay fresh. Will not do so because more merch is sold this way. Still does solid in-ring work and is one of the stronger wrestlers, but the "superman" thing is not very convincing.
NG: Jack Swagger. Standout wrestler, but never let him talk if it's avoidable. That is not a reference to his lisp, but to the fact that he just doesn't do good promo work. When given a good manager, a solid midcarder.
TOP: Bray Wyatt. Playing mind games with all of you mongoloids. Kind of an !@#$%^&, but hilariously so.
MI6: Roman Reigns. While the "wow he hits people hard" thing is overdone and he's going to have a lot of stupid punch matches, still a great talent. The four actual wrestling moves he does are very athletic.
Kaskus: Chris Benoit. But without the "good wrestler" part.
DBDC: Brock Lesnar, but on roids. Rarely seen, but it hurts when he's in action. Was not booked nearly as strongly until the other "top guy" started to falter in his first run.
Umbrella; Kurt Angle. First Olympic gold medalist. Gave way to Brock Lesnar at first, but then Lesnar left for the NFL. Kurt hasn't been the same since joining TNA, probably because TNA sucks and only hipster like it now. $%&@ TNA for what they did to Angle.
Los Pollos Hermanos: CM Punk. Undersized. BEST IN THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD
Lavender Town: Shelton Benjamin. Fun Fact: Shelton Benjamin was actually Brock Lesnar's roommate at University of Minnesota and they were the Minnesota Wrecking Crew in Ohio Valley Wrestling. Shelton Benjamin was a freakish athlete and standout in-ring performer, but because he didn't have great promo work he was never a top guy.
Sparta: Ric Flair. There are long periods of time where I wonder why Ric Flair exists; then he'll do something hilariously amazing and I remember! Also, "Sparta acts like it is eternally drunk" means they're either Ric Flair or Scott Hall. Scott Hall went to rehab and is apparently okay now, so that means it has to be Flair.
RIA: Randy Savage. While Hulk Hogan was without question the #1 guy, it was mostly because of his appeal to a wider audience. As an adult, Randy Savage is far better, similar to Punk/Cena. So SF kinda worked like that when RIA wasn't seen as the head of the snake.