905tf Posted June 5, 2013 Report Share Posted June 5, 2013 "It's Erection Time and We Only Have One Question; Who Farks the Farkmen?" We awoke from our collective bender this weekend to find a list of names and the following journals, written in what looks like a mixture dried ketchup thinned with Thunderbird. The implications are mind boggling. one_eighty_two's Journal, May 22nd, 2013: Deino carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This alliance is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the tech whores and politicians will look up and shout "Lead us!"... and I'll whisper "no." one_eighty_two's Journal, May 23rd, 2013: On Friday night, the Speaker of the Council died. Someone threw him out a window and when he hit the sidewalk his head was driven up into his stomach. Nobody cares. Nobody cares but me. Are they right? Is it futile? Soon there will be war. Millions will burn. Pixels and pixels will perish in sickness and misery. Why does one death matter against so many? Because there is good and there is evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of Armageddon I shall not compromise in this. But there are so many deserving of retribution...and there is so little time.one_eighty_two's Journal, May 25th, 2013: 42nd Street: Womens breasts draped across every billboard, every display, littering the sidewalk. Was offered GO love and Ai love...but not Farkistan love. Farkistan love; like Coke in green glass bottles...they don't make it anymore. Thought about Submitter's story on way to cemetery. Could all be lies. Could all be part of a revenge scheme, planned during his exile to RoK and MHA. But if true, then what? Puzzling reference to an island. Also to 905. Might he be at risk in some way? So many questions. Never mind. Answers soon. Nothing is insoluble. Nothing is hopeless. Not while there's life. In the cemetery, all the white crosses stood in rows, neat chalk marks on a giant scoreboard. Paid last respects quietly, without fuss. CountryMouse. Born in 2009. 3.5 years a Farker. Died 2013, buried in the rain. Is that what happens to us? A life of conflict with no time for friends...so that when it's done, only our enemies leave roses. Violent lives, ending violently. Recockulous, ironone, ecobuckeye...we never die in bed. Not allowed. Something in our personalities, perhaps? Some animal urge to fight and struggle, making us what we are? Unimportant. We do what we have to do. Randomly Jim understood. Treated it like a joke, but he understood. He saw the cracks in society, saw the little men in masks trying to hold it together...he saw the true face of the twenty first century and chose to become a reflection of it, a parody of it. No one else saw the joke. That's why he was lonely. Heard joke once: Man goes into doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says "Treatment is simple. Great clown Chewy is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says "But, Doctor...I am Chewy." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.one_eighty_two's Journal, May 27th, 2013: Woken at eleven by shouting. Disturbed to find I had fallen asleep without removing the skin from my head. Tireder than I thought. Should be more careful. Across street, GOONs were defacing abandoned building. Memorized their descriptions then prepared for work. First, peeled off face, folded it inside jacket. Without my face, nobody knows. Nobody knows who I am. On way out of room met landlady. Usual complaints Re: Hygiene and Rent. There were purple bite marks on her fat white neck. Fresh ones. Out in street, inspected defaced building: silhouette picture in doorway, man and woman, possibly engaging in sexual foreplay. Didn't like it. Makes doorway look haunted. Entering diner, bought coffee, then sat watching my maildrop, immediately across the street. Passer's by made various deposits: candy wrappers, newspapers. This alliance is an animal, fierce and complicated. To understand it I read it's droppings, it's scents, the movement of it's parasites...I sat watching the trashcan and Farkistan opened it's heart to me.one_eighty_two's Journal, May 29th, 2013 8:30 PM: Meeting with Cable77 left bad taste in mouth. A flabby failure who sits whimpering in his basement. Why are so few of us left active, healthy, and without personality disorders? The Squirrel runs an auto repair shop. The Sponsor is a bloated, aging whore, dying in a Farkistan rest resort. The Walken got his cape stuck in a revolving door where he got gunned down. Ackbar, murdered: a victim of his own indecent lifestyle. Calrissian's in an asylum in NPL. Only two names remain on my list. Both share private quarters at Farkistani Beer Research Center. I shall go to them. I shall go tell the inebriated men that someone plans to murder them.one_eighty_two's Journal, May 30th, 2013: Someone tried to kill Mr. Vicarious. Prove's Erection Killer theory. Murderer is closing in. Checked maildrop. Message from OutKast. Connected, perhaps? Next, went to retrieve face from alley. Outside the OWF, police restrained a youth on KT-28's. He was screaming something about bombs and bridge dwellers. Is everyone but me going mad? Over 40th Street, an elephant was drifting. Beyond that, unseen, spy satellites. If they so much as narrow their glass eyes, we shall all be dead. This relentless world: there is only one sane response to it. The alleyway was cold and deserted. My things were where I'd left them. Waiting for me. Putting them on, I abandoned my disguise and became myself, free from fear or weakness or lust. My coat, my shoes, my spotless gloves. My face. Had three hours before calling on BleakOutlook. Away down alley, heard woman scream., first bubbling note of city's evening chorus. Approached disturbance. An attempted rape/mugging/both. Tech raid gone bad. Cleared throat. The man turned and there was something rewarding in his eyes. Sometimes, the night is generous to me.one_eighty_two's Journal, May 31st, 2013: Final entry? Left Cowbell's office just before Midnight. OutKast, convinced I'm behind everything, is serious about erecting me as SotC. Position available, apparently, but am I? Government. Cannot imagine more dangerous opponent. Still feel uneasy. Unfamiliar territory. Submitter could kill us all, there in the snow. Nobody would ever know...first night in June. I am cold tonight. Offices below, headstones marking daily graves of thousands. Who would join me? Kahiel? Beachrat? Inside, clock faces, as observed as those of celebrities, hands commence final laps. I see Rampage and CountryMouse reflected from campaign posters, idling in the dieing light. Oblivion gallops closer, favoring the spur, sparing the rein...I think we will all be gone soon. Return seems unlikely. This last entry. Will shortly mail to only people I can trust. If reading this now, whether I am alive or dead, you will know truth. Whatever the precise nature of this conspiracy, Cable77 responsible. Have done best to make this legible. Believe it paints a disturbing picture. Appreciate your recent support and hope Fark survives long enough for this to reach you. For my own part, regret nothing. Have lived life, free from compromise...and step into a month as SotC now without complaint. Tl;DR: SoTC: One_Eighty_Two Council: Kahiel Beachrat Rampage CountryMouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Wally Posted June 5, 2013 Report Share Posted June 5, 2013 Time for a few Nuka-Beers to celebrate! o/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garion Posted June 5, 2013 Report Share Posted June 5, 2013 Glorious erection. Congratulations to our fellow Farkers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salsabeast1 Posted June 5, 2013 Report Share Posted June 5, 2013 Congrats to those elected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rampage3 Posted June 5, 2013 Report Share Posted June 5, 2013 For the record...my hair and cape are MAGNIFICENT. That is all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Third King Posted June 5, 2013 Report Share Posted June 5, 2013 Congrats to the new gov, and nice read. Underrated movie, me thinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keeology Posted June 5, 2013 Report Share Posted June 5, 2013 congrats on the govt Fark o/Fark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex987 Posted June 5, 2013 Report Share Posted June 5, 2013 You guys always have enough time for the most elaborate erection announcements. o/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prozenz Posted June 6, 2013 Report Share Posted June 6, 2013 Quality post, good read. Congrats! /we're doomed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forrests Critters Posted June 6, 2013 Report Share Posted June 6, 2013 Beachrat is hot. Also, congratulations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smurthwaite Posted June 6, 2013 Report Share Posted June 6, 2013 For the record...my hair and cape are MAGNIFICENT. That is all. I can attest to this! Congrats to my friends and allies in FARK. o/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibsonator21 Posted June 6, 2013 Report Share Posted June 6, 2013 Congrats, guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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