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Pissed Off Puerto Rican


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¡El Pissed Off Puerto Rican Announcemento!

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El gossipito y scandalo y muerte por favour

El Presidente received many e-mails last week demanding that he give a history of his country. El Presidente, who was too preoccupied negotiating a price with a stubborn hooker, ordered his right hand amigo, Pedro El Poco gather the records and create our history. Pedro El Poco, the palace janitor, happily accepted this job, as it meant he didn't have to clean out the public washrooms. He found it tough to find the records, and out of fear of execution if he failed his task, had to make educated guesses. Here is the official history of Puerto Rico:

Pablo, the Puerto Rican God, was one day trying to piss away his time after he screwed up the platypus, so to take his mind off the incident, he took his motorcycle out to South America. And then he said to Pedro Sanchez Rodriguez, his rebellious but sexually appealing son, "I think that an island would look pretty boss right here". So using his magical powers and whatever, he made an island appear. Then Pedro Sanchez Rodriguez said to Pablo, "Whose gonna rule this s***?" Pablo, who was perplexed, cast a spell to create the three greatest men who ever shall live, and asked each of them why they think they're best for Puerto Rico. The first was called Adolf Hitler, and he told God "Shnitzl Mein Aufen Goober!" To which Pablo replied "I don't speak Chinese, a**hole" and destroyed him. Then he made Ghandi appear, and he said "I will make Puerto Rico a bastion of peace and unity throughout the World. We'll practice peace and love and kindness to all" To which Pablo replied "Oh I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. I was too busy being bored as h***" and destroy him. Then Pablo created El Presidente, and he said "I dunno, who the h*** are you?" and Pablo decided that since he'd killed all the other guys, El Presidente would have to do. And that's the story of Puerto Rico.

In recent news, Nordreich has finally decided to man up and destroy us. Puerto Ricans lined the streets, loudly welcoming our liberators. To show the valor of the Nordreich soldiers, I'm going to post some of their battles against the Puerto Rican tyranny.

You have been attacked by PhoenixAscendant. You lost 4,595 soldiers and 536 tanks. You killed 6,319 soldiers and 837 tanks. Their forces razed 0.000 miles of your land, stole 0.000 technology, and destroyed 0.000 infrastructure. Their forces looted $0.00 from you and you gained $1,090,478.00 in your enemy's abandoned equipment. In the end the battle was a Victory. Any existing peace offers that were on the table have been automatically canceled.

Oh...well that's just a one off. Let's see a couple others.

You have been attacked by Striderwanabe. You lost 2,942 soldiers and 107 tanks. You killed 4,413 soldiers and 1,259 tanks. Their forces razed 0.000 miles of your land, stole 0.000 technology, and destroyed 0.000 infrastructure. Their forces looted $0.00 from you and you gained $1,083,010.00 in your enemy's abandoned equipment. In the end the battle was a Victory. Any existing peace offers that were on the table have been automatically canceled.
You have been attacked by PhoenixAscendant. You lost 792 soldiers and 137 tanks. You killed 1,188 soldiers and 0 tanks. Their forces razed 0.000 miles of your land, stole 0.000 technology, and destroyed 0.000 infrastructure. Their forces looted $0.00 from you and you gained $1,010,810.00 in your enemy's abandoned equipment. In the end the battle was a Victory. Any existing peace offers that were on the table have been automatically canceled.
A fighter escorted bombing run has been launched against your nation by PhoenixAscendant. In the attack you lost 0 defending tanks, 0 cruise missiles, and 0.00 infrastructure. You destroyed 2 attacking bombers. You lost 4 fighter aircraft and destroyed 17 fighter aircraft launched by PhoenixAscendant. Any existing peace offers that were on the table have been automatically canceled.

Hmmm...well I'm sure that's just my nation. Hopefully other nations in that scumbag alliance 'Pissed Off Puerto Rican' are being destroyed.

Finally, it is with a happy and overjoyed tone that I'd like to announce Pissed Off Puerto Rican's disbandment. We suck, you know it, I know it, let's not try to hide it. So we're going to split off and cause trouble elsewhere. I'd like to advise all alliances to bar me from joining. The messages I received in my inbox will confirm why you shouldn't allow me to join:

u r such a losr. and ur gettn ur $@! kiked. hahahahaha.

I agree completely. This articulate and intelligent message states briefly and outrightly why you should not let me join your alliance.

I've read your posts on the OWF. Stop trying to be funny. Your not.

This is the point I've been trying to establish from the beginning. I'm pathetic, unfunny and annoying. Thank you for telling me this, I'm a better man.

So with that, I bid you all adieu.

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Hey Gutenhagen, get peace from one of your other Nordreich wars and I'll gladly take you up on your offer. You have me beat in every category save for the fact that I can incinerate you with the typing of a password and a click of a button. So let's dance? While you're at it, can you tell this guy I'm fighting to buy some troops? He's got 1000+ tech and it hurts my heart to simply blow it all up. He's been turtling for a while now.

Edited by Captain Flinders
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Good luck in your travels abroad and may you find happiness... :ehm: If you ever get in my range we can see how many battle reports you proud of then, as I started to sell infra to get in your range also but your not worth the effort... :ph34r: I've lost a grand total of 29 infra fighting your top guy and my shiny brand new SDI was well worth the Euros...o/ NoR

Edit: put wrong infra total...it's 29 not 27... :lol1:

Edited by Stonewall14
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Hey Gutenhagen, get peace from one of your other Nordreich wars and I'll gladly take you up on your offer. You have me beat in every category save for the fact that I can incinerate you with the typing of a password and a click of a button. So let's dance? While you're at it, can you tell this guy I'm fighting to buy some troops? He's got 1000+ tech and it hurts my heart to simply blow it all up. He's been turtling for a while now.

Hey pal, I hope you realize you're lamenting over your victory with a guy who's been on a ZI sentence from TPF for the past two months. Congrats.

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You have been attacked by Striderwanabe. You lost 2,286 soldiers and 33 tanks. You killed 5,003 soldiers and 777 tanks. Their forces razed 0.000 miles of your land, stole 0.000 technology, and destroyed 0.000 infrastructure. Their forces looted $0.00 from you and you gained $259,826.49 in your enemy's abandoned equipment. In the end the battle was a Victory. Any existing peace offers that were on the table have been automatically canceled.
You have been attacked by Striderwanabe. You lost 1,218 soldiers and 32 tanks. You killed 4,263 soldiers and 1,124 tanks. Their forces razed 0.000 miles of your land, stole 0.000 technology, and destroyed 0.000 infrastructure. Their forces looted $0.00 from you and you gained $1,068,762.00 in your enemy's abandoned equipment. In the end the battle was a Victory. Any existing peace offers that were on the table have been automatically canceled.

You have been attacked by Norwood. You lost 224 soldiers and 30 tanks. You killed 782 soldiers and 986 tanks. Their forces razed 0.000 miles of your land, stole 0.000 technology, and destroyed 0.000 infrastructure. Their forces looted $0.00 from you and you gained $1,052,812.00 in your enemy's abandoned equipment. In the end the battle was a Victory. Any existing peace offers that were on the table have been automatically canceled.

Time for my attacks!

You have been attacked by Kaiser Gutenhagen. You lost 6,600 soldiers and 0 tanks. You killed 5,660 soldiers and 345 tanks. Their forces razed 56.727 miles of your land, stole 5.191 technology, and destroyed 20.765 infrastructure. Their forces looted $1,000,000.00 from you and you gained $0.00 in your enemy's abandoned equipment. In the end the battle was a Defeat. Any existing peace offers that were on the table have been automatically canceled.
You have been attacked by Kaiser Gutenhagen. You lost 9,555 soldiers and 0 tanks. You killed 5,325 soldiers and 281 tanks. Their forces razed 34.966 miles of your land, stole 5.196 technology, and destroyed 20.785 infrastructure. Their forces looted $1,000,000.00 from you and you gained $0.00 in your enemy's abandoned equipment. In the end the battle was a Defeat. Any existing peace offers that were on the table have been automatically canceled.
You have been attacked by Kaiser Gutenhagen. You lost 2,583 soldiers and 0 tanks. You killed 738 soldiers and 242 tanks. Their forces razed 33.529 miles of your land, stole 5.199 technology, and destroyed 20.796 infrastructure. Their forces looted $1,000,000.00 from you and you gained $0.00 in your enemy's abandoned equipment. In the end the battle was a Defeat. Any existing peace offers that were on the table have been automatically canceled.

Whoops, how did those get there?

Also apparently Nordreich denies being affiliated with Nazism in any way. Allow me to post some messages from their intelligent members:

the third reich will rise again! expect your doom at the hands of the third reich!
Heil Nordreich! Heil das Fuhrer! Sieg Heil!
o/ o/ o/ o/ Heil the Third Reich! \o \o \o

But I'm sure those don't have anything to do with Nazism at all.

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Finally, it is with a happy and overjoyed tone that I'd like to announce Pissed Off Puerto Rican's disbandment.
I'd like to announce that Pissed Off Puerto Rican has merged with 'Communist Jews'.

Interesting

Do you relies your posts are making you look like a idiot and NoR a godsend for getting rid of you?

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It would be truly interesting to see the Third Reich rise again since the Third Reich refers to a specific time period for German empire. I think most of those who would rise again would be in strict decay and or be in wheel chairs.

Now I'm all for Wheelchair weapon attachments but old German Nazi guys in those devices of death (imho) is a waste.

Now as for Nazi Zombies? Normally I would feel guilty shooting little girl zombies or if my mother was a zombie, but Nazi zombie would be a national hunting season for which everyone could partake with great joy.

Besides, If the Nazi party did rise again, it wouldn't be called the "Third Reich", therefor it will not rise again. The phrase in question came from hillbilly's in the south (where I live) who inaccurately blended "The 'South' will rise again" with "the Third Reich will rise again."

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It would be truly interesting to see the Third Reich rise again since the Third Reich refers to a specific time period for German empire. I think most of those who would rise again would be in strict decay and or be in wheel chairs.

Now I'm all for Wheelchair weapon attachments but old German Nazi guys in those devices of death (imho) is a waste.

Now as for Nazi Zombies? Normally I would feel guilty shooting little girl zombies or if my mother was a zombie, but Nazi zombie would be a national hunting season for which everyone could partake with great joy.

Besides, If the Nazi party did rise again, it wouldn't be called the "Third Reich", therefor it will not rise again. The phrase in question came from hillbilly's in the south (where I live) who inaccurately blended "The 'South' will rise again" with "the Third Reich will rise again."

agreed!!

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Summary.

Pissed Off Puerto Ricans made a dumb move. Nordreich defended an ally. Kaiser Gutenhagen makes the oh-so-original claim that Nordreich is full of Nazis, as well as obviously real PMs that could not possibly have been falsified. He then falsifies battle logs, or posts select ones.

Stay classy, Kaiser.

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Summary.

Pissed Off Puerto Ricans made a dumb move. Nordreich defended an ally. Kaiser Gutenhagen makes the oh-so-original claim that Nordreich is full of Nazis, as well as obviously real PMs that could not possibly have been falsified. He then falsifies battle logs, or posts select ones.

Stay classy, Kaiser.

I lied about all the logs. None are real. I'm actually losing all my wars pathetically, and the real messages I received from Nordreich members were:

I love Jews
Nazis are bad
Butterflies and rainbows!

Sorry for my lies. I am ashamed.

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