Shave N Haircut Posted June 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2014 (edited) European Community, Special Edition The French media lately has been filled with outspoken critics of the so called "European Community," but there have been some more eloquent than others, the most well spoken of which being a self-proclaimed intellectual who, despite his regular outbursts on air, occasionally adds kernels of wisdom to the conscience of France. His full broadcast can be found below. [hr] "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back. Today we're going to be talking about the European Community, which is something of a misnomer I think. After all, what kind of Europe are we talking about that includes the Middle East before it even considers its Western half? Ladies and Gentlemen, in case you don't know about the nature of the aforementioned 'Community', its members to date are Alvonia, the Babylonian Empire, the Baltic Union, the Grand Duchy of Moscow, and the Northlands. If this list strikes you as odd, you're right, but what makes it even more odd is the fact that all of these nations were immediately admitted onto the Security Council of this political entity. "Now, I don't generally take offense to the dealings of other nations, but when it comes to calling something the European Community, I at least want them to get their facts straight. Babylon is not, by any means, a European Power. The fact that they were considered for a founding member before France is quite frankly insulting to our nation as a whole, but to pour salt on the wound, none of the other founding members are any better than Local powers, in contrast to the Regional power of Sverige, Britain, and Italy, and the global strength of Portugal and France. "Ladies and Gentlemen, to be frank, if one is to look at the facts of this organization, it's purpose is clear as daylight. If Babylon hadn't been invited it might have past as the smaller nations of Europe to have an extra measure of security from their larger neighbors, but with the Babylonians taken into consideration it can't be made out as any less than an Eastern Bloc organized to directly combat and impede the power of France and her allies, as well as check the potential of the nations of the Balkans. "Even if this is not true, it is certainly a slap in the face for France to be considered a second-class European power behind the likes of Alvonia, Uberstein, and the Northlands. I feel as if it is a terrible mistake for her Majesty the Empress to even consider membership, as entering the organization without being immediately guaranteed a spot on the Security council could be seen as France bending its knee to a military alliance other than any of our own. Babylon has already established that it has a belligerent stance when it comes to France, the addition of the small powers of Northern Europe to their influence should be taken as an indicator of their stance towards our nation. France cannot be expected to respect any framework which describes itself as being a platform for European Cooperation, but which deliberately excludes some of the most influential nations in Europe in favor of one which has no business involving itself in the business of the Continent, much less being an integral member of it." [hr]In other NewsThe French government has requested that the Northlands relinquish the territories of Andorra and Monaco to France. The territories have close ties with the French people and government, and in the dangerous World climate at present it wouldn't do for the a government that didn't directly border them or share any heritage to be their protectors. Of course, this request is in the most respectful terms possible, in difference to the Non-Aggression pact signed by both France and the Northlands. Edited June 7, 2014 by Shave N Haircut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shave N Haircut Posted June 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2014 Travel AdvisoryIn light of recent activities engaged in by the government of Hawaii, all trade and tourism going towards the nation are advised to exercise extreme caution, as the activity engaged therein is indicative of dangerously low levels of racial tolerance. France takes no official stance as yet, but regardless, citizens are advised to avoid Hawaii in favor of other destinations, preferably not in the Pacific area at all.French PolynesiaFrench troops, after having secured New Caledonia and reestablished the self-defense forces therein, have moved on to French Polynesia, which has been once again claimed in the name of France. As well as these islands, the islands of Wallis and Futuna have been reclaimed and the government reestablished, putting France back where it had been before the destruction of the Fifth Republic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shave N Haircut Posted June 11, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2014 France reenters Peacetime Stance French Naval forces are now traveling back to their home bases in the homeland with little exception, the mission they were sent for having been accomplished. The exceptions are that the First Fleet is remaining in the theatre, to be based in New Caledonia, and the corps strength unit which was sent has been stationed evenly throughout France's Pacific holdings for the defense of those areas, with a new base being built in New Caledonia to host the headquarters of the French-Pacific defense operation. Steps have been taken to ensure that the self-governing areas will retain their sovereignty under the French crown. French coastal defense forces have been ordered to stand down, and Anti-Submarine Warfare in the Mediterranean have been discontinued. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shave N Haircut Posted June 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 26, 2014 France Withdraws from Poland The French Seventh Corps is withdrawing from its peacekeeping duties in Poland now, handing over authority for the region under its command to the local government smoothly and getting a ride home from French transport aircraft. French deployments are expected to all have a new home within France within the month. In other news, the French Forth Corps is withdrawing from its Alpine bases and handing them over to the new government of the area, the Kingdom of Snow Haven. All French military equipment is being withdrawn post-haste, and the facilities being transferred to the new Kingdom's military forces, the bases within being more than adequate for use by the entire military of the Kingdom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uberstein Posted July 3, 2014 Report Share Posted July 3, 2014 (edited) Private Message to France The Federal Republic of Lesotho is sorely lacking in the ability to manufacture its own military goods. France is well known for the quality of its equipment, and we are interested in paying not only for general assistance in creating a military-industrial base for our nation, but also in purchasing licenses to produce the following equipment: AMX-10P, Mortier 120mm, TRF1, AMX-10 RC, Transall C-160, and Dassault Mirage 2000 in the C, D, and B variants. We are also interested in a BRENNUS style defense package for the AMX-40 tank. Should France also be willing to help build a military school and train officers and teachers, payment would include a 10% share in each of Lesotho's two major diamond mines. Edited July 3, 2014 by Uberstein Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shave N Haircut Posted July 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2014 French Arms Sale France has announced the launching of an unprecedented plan, in conjunction with the government of Lesotho, which will stimulate the creation of an industrial base within the small African country, but also a sweeping deal for the authorization of the domestic production of at least six different vehicles of the French Army, including the Dassault 2000, and AMX-10 Armored Car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shave N Haircut Posted July 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 6, 2014 French News: Special Edition L'Imperatrice, Jeanne de LaQueu The Empress of France is the most powerful woman in Europe by far by almost all accounts, she watches over the nation of France with a trained, benevolent gaze, but what is it about this woman that gives her all of her charm, her vision, her intelligence, and her ambition? That is what we are going to be looking into in this, the second Special Edition entry of French News. Her highness is a small 5'4, weighing, reportedly, 129 pounds, and her favorite color is blue. From allegations that the Empress posed for pinup shots in her youth to allegations that she's had half a dozen of her subordinates summarily shot for disobeying her orders, we're going to address it all, starting near the beginning of her life. She was born in Lyons in early 20XX to a poor family. Her childhood, while it wasn't pleasant, wasn't one to tell stories about, by her and her sister's accounts. Their father worked in a factory and her mother worked at the local grocer, but poor financial management early in their marriage had left them in terrible debt. Jeanne started working early as a baker's assistant to help bring in the proverbial dough when she was old enough, around 14, but while this helped it wasn't enough to get her what she wanted out of her life. She supposedly, according to some accounts which have not been verified by the surviving members of the LaQueu family, began to be noticed for what is now somewhat of a faded beauty, from whence the allegations that she posed for pinups has since come. None of the photos are available for display at this time. She joined the Army of a resurgent French state, something that had initially been outside of her plan, but which she was required to do because of family disaster involving the death of her father, cutting the funds available to the family by more than half. Her army career was accelerated by the several wars required to reclaim all of the territory which had been under the rule of the French states of the Modern Age, and for her general competence as an officer of the Artillery, she was a colonel in an unprecedented amount of time. By an act of the assembly she was brought to General of the Armed forces. From there she took over the government entirely, the Army was unquestioningly loyal to her at this time (Note, several generals in favor of the Republic went missing) and took command of the assembly, forcing them to name her the Empress, which passed nearly unanimously. The French people at the time weren't terribly concerned with the switch in power, the nation was rather disillusioned with rulers as a whole and so the Republic to Empire transition didn't really faze them, besides which, Jeanne was popular in the public image. The Empress has spent the last five years strengthening her hold and expanding her power, keeping herself securely as the Ruler of France. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shave N Haircut Posted September 21, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 France Returns The Empress of France has reemerged and issued orders once more, the effect of which reactivated French concerns in the world, the first action of which is the immediate reoccupation of Snow Haven territories after their unfortunate collapse, the non-French sections of which are being left up for grabs, though the Empress has expressed a desire to see it fall into Alvonian hands. Approximately 150,000 troops, including the Empress' 1st Corps, have been sent into the region to regain order in the region after the unfortunate fall of the satellite state. Additionally, France has begun an official withdrawal from their protectorates in Canada, the troops from which are being sent back to the mainland. Diplomatic missions are expected to be widespread and groundbreaking from the newly active government. France reasserts its ties to all of its allies and assures them that it will continue to stand by them regardless of how the situation has changed since France fell off the face of the earth. France would also like to assure the world that its intentions are, as always, purely peaceful in nature, and that no further military action will be taken after their former territory has been resecured. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Euphaia Posted September 21, 2014 Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 Hungary-Slovakia welcomes France back to the world of politics, and greatly looks forward to friendly relations with France. We invite France to send an ambassador to Hungary-Slovakia and to open formal diplomatic relations between our nation's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggressivenutmeg Posted September 22, 2014 Report Share Posted September 22, 2014 "While we are pleased to see that France has made the decision to end it's isolationist policies, we must caution France against send troops into the former territories of Snowhaven. Upon the unfortunate collapse of that state, the Cisalpine Republic took the initiative and moved in to restore order and maintain stability. As such, the territory is now an official protectorate of the Cisalpine Republic and any French troops that cross the border will be fired upon by Italian forces." - Secretary General Achille Oberti Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evangeline Anovilis Posted September 22, 2014 Report Share Posted September 22, 2014 "Greater Romania is pleased to see the proud French nation return, however, we would like to ask for caution in regards to intruding into territory of our Cisalpine allies. While our nation has no issue with the French people, any violent intrusion cannot be interpreted in a way that would not necessitate Romanian support for its ally. We would hope France lives up to its words of peace and not threaten European peace unnecessarily." -Mihaela Constante, Minister of Foreign Affairs of Greater Romania Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mogar Posted September 23, 2014 Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 :Classified: Thousands of cargo containers flowed into France daily from the EAI, secretly a dozen of them a daily would be arriving with 8 LiaoShō (BrahMos) land based missiles per container, the French government would be informed via encrypted channels of the gifts to ensure there'd be no curious dock workers investigating the containers. My dearest Jeanne, The world has changed much while you were focused internally, and while East Asia is of little help to the internal workings of Asia, you will find our missile systems to be of great assistance against those who wish to harm you, I will be ensuring these shipments regularly, and we can provide for additional systems to be sent at your desire. Additionally, we are developing a cargo ship based missile system to be used autonomously against potential enemies, the ships being able to pass unfettered close to their targets, while upon the launch of the systems the crews would realistically have to be sacrificed to the opponent, the cost of a dozen lives in exchange for the assured destruction of an airfield or naval yard is something I consider to be acceptable in certain times of war. On less serious subjects, I will be in Europe once again for the Hesse's gala, perhaps we can plan another vacation with one another, I have missed my best friend after all. Longing to see you again, Kazuko Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hereno Posted September 23, 2014 Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 [Public]Borneo condemns the planned invasion of the former Cisalpine Republic and calls on the French government to respect the sovereignty of their smaller neighbors. The days of imperialism are long past, and the French would do well to remember that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shave N Haircut Posted September 23, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 [From the desk of an anonymous French official] Borneo would do good to remember whose territory is whose and the history of said territory, as well as who has business commenting on the subject; which doesn't include remote Asian-Pacific nations. This having been said, negotiations have been planned regarding the return of Sovereign French territory, in the most civil manner possible with the nation of Cisalpina. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
my new new nation Posted September 23, 2014 Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 "The house of Savoy is happy to see France return from it's quiet state, but reiterate our claims to ALL of the former Snow Haven territories." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hereno Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 [From the desk of an anonymous French official] Borneo would do good to remember whose territory is whose and the history of said territory, as well as who has business commenting on the subject; which doesn't include remote Asian-Pacific nations. This having been said, negotiations have been planned regarding the return of Sovereign French territory, in the most civil manner possible with the nation of Cisalpina. [Public]Newspapers across the political spectrum in Borneo would have stories of the French hypocrisy on their front cover. They questioned why the French government holds a treaty with the Japanese Empire and land in the Asia-Pacific region if they do not deem it important to their interests? In protest, hundreds of Bornean frogs have been killed in more rural areas, with more hawkish groups calling for outright war to remove the oppressors from the region. Even more moderate groups have called for solidarity against the hateful, racist, colonial imperialist regime of France; including financial and military aid to be sent to the Cisalpines should the French be willing to bully and invade them. As of yet, however, there has been no official statement from the Bornean administration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEDCJT Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 "Russia is pleased to see the return of France, and will watch its developments with mild interest." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Triyun Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 [From the desk of an anonymous French official] Borneo would do good to remember whose territory is whose and the history of said territory, as well as who has business commenting on the subject; which doesn't include remote Asian-Pacific nations. This having been said, negotiations have been planned regarding the return of Sovereign French territory, in the most civil manner possible with the nation of Cisalpina. We should hope this includes a ruling out of military force entirely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shave N Haircut Posted September 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2014 French Consolidation to the Homefront French Forces throughout the world are being recalled to France in order to reassure the French people that the government has their safety uppermost in its mind. In addition, a new Corps is being raised to bolster the now barely sufficient numbers within the French military, this just before the upcoming annual Wargames which will this year be held in Normandy. The French military has given out an assurance that there is no intention to use these forces in any way except in defense of France or her allies in Europe. France Rethinks Fixed Defense French engineers have been contracted to create new sets of defensive fortifications around the coast and on the present borders, with a focus on flexibility and depth - More news to come as it becomes available. Reaffirmation of Support Additionally, the French government sends out a public message that all of its alliances are still in effect and will be honored immediately upon their activation by any military force against France's allies, regardless of the status of that ally or the forces arrayed against them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shave N Haircut Posted October 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 (edited) Additional Corps Raised The French military has raised yet another Corps of troops, bringing the total to seventeen, amid news that an ally had been struck with military force, additionally, unfriendly borders are being heavily secured and all forces are on the highest alert. The annual wargames have been cancelled in the wake of intense mobilization by the Empire. Light, tactically placed defensive positions have been hastily constructed along mostly classified positions, and heavier positions have been begun. The French Pacific Fleet, as well as the two corps stationed with it are making full steam towards the Panama Canal. BREAKING NEWS Rumor persists of the French government developing several new types of ammunition for several weapons, as well as reactivating stockpiles of several others, more news to follow. Edited October 2, 2014 by Shave N Haircut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shave N Haircut Posted October 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2014 (edited) Response to Carthage All Carthaginian passports are from henceforth being considered entirely invalid in response to Carthage's deportation of French citizens and Carthaginian civilians are being indefinitely detained until all possessions of French citizens, as well as any other person of French ethnicity who wishes to leave are repatriated. The citizens will not be imprisoned, but under no circumstances will they be released until French demands for the consideration of her own civilians are met. France also is officially contesting the legality of Carthaginian actions in the Iberian and considers any such occupation illegal, as it does not fully represent the considerations of the people within. French borders are, as a result officially opening for all those wishing to flee from Carthaginian oppression, which at the time of this report has been an extremely substantial number according to government sources.* Civilians are required to go through an extensive, but courteous search before entering the nation. [Classified] They will, as well, be kept under heavy surveillance. [spoiler]*Just propaganda now.[/spoiler] Edited October 4, 2014 by Shave N Haircut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mogar Posted October 4, 2014 Report Share Posted October 4, 2014 :Satellite Communique, 2048 bit encryption, non standard key: My darling Jeanne, I presume by now you have seen the latest Carthaginian propaganda, how cute of them to ignore their allies sexual deviancy but paint us as the demons. What is more entertaining is the belief that you are my puppet, if they only knew who wore the pants in our relationship. I hope you are staying safe, you will be in my thoughts until this is all over. No matter what happens, Toi et moi, ça ne changera pas. Pour toujours et à jamais, Kazuko Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shave N Haircut Posted October 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2014 Continuation An excerpt from a Carthaginian News Source ran in the funnies section of most French newspapers today, and it has quickly become one of the top rated pieces of Satire ever submitted to French Newspapers. French citizens, when they learned that it was an actual article, were shocked, and if anything, even more amused. The only official response to the Carthaginian government being, "As soon as the assets of French citizens are returned, so too will the detained citizens of Carthage." Additionally, the nation of Prussia has attempted similar measures to what multiple nations worldwide are doing, but seeing as there is no record of French citizenry leaving the nation any time in the last seven years to Prussia, and all that went before that, to the knowledge of anyone who cares, returned safely. Seeing as this is true, Prussian citizens are being returned to Prussia at their expense with all of their possessions intact. The Empress has, in a strange act, sent her regards along with most of the deportees, and wishes them a safe trip back to Prussia. :Ditto on the encryption and method: Ma petit fleur, Their warbling has little standing in the real world indeed. If their people are moron enough to believe what their government says, it is truly a sad place to live. I'll keep as safe as I can without compromising the morale of my people. I look forward to visiting London with you darling, I've still got your portrait on my nightstand by the way; The naughty one, you know the one I speak of. With much love, Her Majesty, L'Imperatrice Jeanne de LaQueu French Princess with ChildPrincess Cloe of France, Queen of Sverige, has recently been told by her doctor that she's become pregnant. This comes after no small amount of breath-holding from members of both countries over the amount of time it took for this to occur. More news to follow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mogar Posted October 4, 2014 Report Share Posted October 4, 2014 :Secret: With war going hot and concerns of it going hotter, Nihon no Kiseki was authorized to be deployed across France, not that many would notice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shave N Haircut Posted October 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2014 Correction The news of Cloe's pregnancy, incidentally, came as quite the surprise to the Queen herself. It seems that the news of her pregnancy was an elaborate hoax delivered to the French News networks through a source that normally would have been considered as quite accurate. The French news Network apologizes for the mix-up and vows that it will not occur again in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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