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Johnny Apocalypse

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Everything posted by Johnny Apocalypse

  1. Let's begin with the past in front, And all the things you really don't care about now, You'd be exactly where I'm at. And to think, You've got a grip, Well, look at yourself your lips are like two flabs of fat, They go floating back; flappity-flappity-flap.
  2. Indeed, I feel everything was adequately covered in the OP. I'm not looking to perpetuate the grudges of old.
  3. You don't need to prove anything, and yet here you are chiming in to what end exactly? You're already following me so why don't you tell me how you really feel? (Friendly reminder: I am the new King of Cobra, I don't know you and you don't know me. Let's not get this peace off on the wrong foot eh?)
  4. Fair enough my man, though I'm sure the populace prefer visible content over your opaque "exquisite" internal organisation. Your "exemplary" activity seemed to be a fraction of your overall numbers; enough numbers to shed infra and outgun us along with the help of your blocmates. If it was truly "exemplary" your top tier wouldn't have had 1m NS shaved by NG within a week, neither would there have been the necessity for you to call in an entire bloc against us few men, talk about "not sparing a trick" eh? You can pat yourself on the back all you want though, ultimately it should come as a surprise to no one that you defeated us militarily given the odds. A slightly more "exemplary" force would've managed as much within a month, two tops. Thanks for admitting we won in the areas we fought though
  5. Whew, 39 pages of "OOGA BOOGA BIG, OOGA BOOGA STRONG" expanded over several paragraphs lacking in the funny. Which leaves me asking: "Where is the funny? Surely there is some funny left?" I'm with this guy; get creative if you wanna chest-thump. Otherwise you're just proving the point that Pacifica is as bland as expected.
  6. I hope you like your trophy No no no no no, wick bad naughty Lex! Collect with Guerilla Camps and dump the Schools. They don't need an education where they're going.
  7. I see your Sheldon and raise you an Ink Spots:
  8. But I am one of the other players, those are things that I want. I was sound-boarding to see if that was something others would happen to mutually agree on. I take your point however, how would you ask them though? Given that they by and large don't tend to engage anyway how would you approach them? I would ask them if they want a multi-polar power dynamic or a simple bi-polar power structure in terms of navigating alliances and pacts etc. I would ask if they want only independence or to be directly involved in actual political movements. Do they want to just collect stats because, really, they played this game as kids and it holds some small sentimental and nostalgic value to them they don't want to risk losing the years of hard hoarding? Is it a 'sunk cost' where the cost has been time and you don't want to see that time shredded by engaging with the game properly? If it is the latter; declare neutrality. Let the rest of us play, the only people who have fully targeted a neutral were NPO and that is heavily frowned upon, so it is a fairly solid way to isolate yourselves if you want to farm stats. It is however, unfair to use that decade long stat-advantage to put down people who do want to ruffle feathers a little -enjoy a bit of intrigue maybe- when there is an ever looming threat of someone playing world police with the chips always stacked in their favour.
  9. Not without a solid media team I didn't.
  10. I'll be your Johnny on the spot, I'll be your Johnny on the spot, My daddy died, Left me all he's got, I'll be your Johnny on the spot.
  11. A Tale of 100 Coffees: Johnny Apocalypse upon arriving at COBRA Johnny Apocalypse after first bout of negotations Coffee No.51; negotiation round 2 Coffee 100: Present Day After a seemingly infinite back and forth between the Cobralition and RFI, we have finally come to an agreement for the sake of peace. I present the following terms, agreed upon by both coalitions: The Cobralition do hereby admit defeat to the forces of the RFI coalition. All existing wars between nations will be allowed to be completed or peaced at the discretion of the involved nations. No further wars will be declared after the posting of this peace agreement. Roll credits: Signed for Cobralition: Signed for COBRA, Johnny Apocalypse - King Cobra Signed for The Imperial Entente, Lucius Optimus- Emperor of TIE Signed for Sellswords, Kapleo - 'insert title here' of Sellswords Signed for Kashmir, Lex Quintus, King of Kashmir Signed for Screaming Red Asses, Walsh the Beloved -- Red Ass Commander Signed for RFI: Signed for Argent, Lowsten - The Great and Powerful Emperor of Argent trimm - The Absent and Grumpy Regent of Argent IMP REBS - Minister of Internal Affairs Gingervites - Interim Minister of War KingWilliam - Interim Minister of Finance LegatusEquus - Interim Minister of Foreign Affairs iamthey - Minister of Proctology and Three Eyed Raven of Argent Janax - Dragon Emperor Emeritus and Minister of Communications Signed for Legion, deathbiter - Imperator happy5214 - Consul of Internal and Economic Affairs Lord Windmark Thomond - Consul of Defense & Foreign Affairs totem - Elected Imperator Emeritus Signed for GATO, General Assembly of the Global Alliance and Treaty Organization We Are Not Alone - Assembly Chairman Dre4m - Deputy Assembly Chairman and Minister of Foreign Affairs Grealind - Deputy Assembly Chairman and Minister of Finance Tevron - Special Counsel to the Assembly Chairman Signed for CLAWS, Leader: White Chocolate Leader: Jazzy95 Grand Inquisitor: Randalla Ministers Minister of Defense: Al Bundy Minister of Economics: Crinkled Straw Minister of Foreign Affairs: Claude Minister of Internal Affairs: Magical Muslim Signed for LoSS, ~ The Trinity: Sir Sexton, ButtonyMeteor53, Flygirl Signed for Fellowship of The Wolves, Canik - Mad King Taco - Hand of the King The Dark Lord Sauron - Archon of Foreign Affairs Velocity - Deputy Archon of Foreign Affairs Kaznawim - Radical War Archon Lancer - Deputy Archon of War Lord Draculea - Archon of Financial Affairs Smitty256 - Archon of Harmony Maegor - Special Envoy of Harmony SquidTheJim - IT Analyst Galerion - Deputy General Armpit - The Pit Master ------------------- Whew, that's a lot of names. Now for my second act as King I would like to bestow the following medals: Most Boognish: Johnny Apocalypse of Anubia Most Wars: General Kanabis of Imperio Mexica "Ruban de valeur et de mort" Lucius Optimus of The First Order Tankobite of Freistaat Bayer Best Damage Ratio: Caspase of Amino Acids Old Stubborn Bastard: Walsh the Beloved of Walshington Best Mercenary: ericsw123 of Land of Freedom Antman: Talbrys of Keltroy Most Furry Scalps Collected: Murtibing of Fluens Most Generous: Lex Quintus of Flotsam Master Hakai of Afro Pick Sabcat of Sabcat Island Kal Asharak of Ceska Republik War Dove: Shtanto of Shtanto Most Flogged: VelocityVIP of Galcorian Republic Best SDI: Kapleo of Kaplea Worst SDI: Kapleo of Kaplea Best Cash Pinata: scozy of Kenoland (Special Mention: The Legion) Saltiest: Major Charles Rane of Farnhams Freehold "Get off my lawn!" Trophy: Tevron of Devion Fashionably Late: Stewie of Stewieland Sportsmanship Trophy: Literally no one. Dedicated to every single Spy assassinated in the line of duty And with that, Ladies and Gentlemen, we conclude this five month long war. We've had our ups and downs (and even more downs) but let us remember the friends we made along the way and look to brighter horizons for all parties involved. As we pick up our guns and leave the trenches; I'd like to bid farewell, thanks and good luck to our friends in Non Grata. I wish them the best of luck in their quest to reclaim their vexillum and push back against the forces of Oculus. Now, the oral se- *ahem* I mean, now some music:
  12. Will you be serving a variety of salted baked goods or just dessert?
  13. No more playing 'world police' would be a start. Either declare neutrality if you want to be a stat-hoarder or tackle a challenge equal to(or above) your capacity. Enough of this punching down rubbish. And a couple of spines with a dash of ambition for the people leading alliances wouldn't go amiss. Maybe people could start actually publicly RPing a bit too. Being a wartime tabloid propagandist has been fun and I'm sure there are other ways to RP. The political game is played here for the most part. Sure we have discord and that's all well and good, but if there's no visible gameplay occuring on the community forums then of course no one will bother and all that back-channel game will be for naught. I know most players are fatigued, have jobs and lives beyond this but everyone should try and act like a leader instead of an office drone.
  14. And maybe we'll see something soon that does in fact benefit our allies who have had a rather fun 6 months of bashing your collective heads in with us. Like you said; it's about the friends you make along the way and I've made a good few friends since coming back and joining the General's merry band of pillagers.
  15. Looks like we have our answer and Deathadder has been tapped out. Now we get Maelstrom as the Pacifican mouth for the duration of the thread.
  16. I expect you'll get a pat on the head and an "Atta boy James Spaniel" They may even scratch behind your ears if you can get on your hind legs!
  17. You're quite welcome, anything for an old-timer like myself. I'd forgotten about the Tattler until you just mentioned it wasn't that Doitzel? That takes me back to before I was fossilized and subsequently re-animated! Dreaming in my house at R'lyeh Resuming meme offensive:
  18. Oh man; ICE BURN. Measuring an alliance leader's success in terms of slot usage is kinda part of the problem people have with alliances like yours. It turns leaders into office drones managing a spreadsheet (or whatever automated system you have that needs manning) Where is your god damn sense of ambition? Because I don't see any fire in your belly. I see this:
  19. Lol that you think your current actions are 'helping the community' in any altruistic sense- sure your presence after years of inertia has brought some life into this world but your involvement only serves as a means to return us back to that state of inertia. Your government is populated entirely by people with an abject hatred for any activity here because it's hard work and you're too busy juggling colonies to lead either one effectively. I was pointing out a correlation between your dominance of the game and its decline, as well as the increase in activity when you were no longer top dog. Your approach to war is that you never truly set yourselves up for a challenge, and when there is a challenge (like Karma) you hide. This discourages most from bothering to participate or take risks when they know you will always hedge your bets with the winning side. You're like an obnoxious sports fan that changes which team they support depending on who is winning the season. Now don't get me wrong; there's nothing wrong with a degree of self-preservation but if that is literally all you exist for then that is a problem. When everything fell to pieces with NPO's attempt to roll OV/VE with TORN back in Karma, you fled to peace mode when it started looking like you were actually going to lose for once, to save yourselves from the consequences of your actions rather than sucking it up and eating it like the rest of us do.
  20. And you have been at the top of the chain since the game's creation. Still a pretty valid correlation, your presence = decline There does look to be a brief spike in July '09, funnily enough that's when the Karma War happened and forced you to adopt some humility in order to survive. That's long gone now.
  21. Live footage from The Day Today Turtle-mobile: Now fact me 'til I fart. Tonight: The Void (finally) shouts back: Non Grata 'at war' with most of the planet Oculus' Stock value plummets upon becoming "Target Rich Environment" For the first time in recent memory, the slumbering planet we all know and hate (in our own ways) has seen a surge in activity in the public domain. This initially was a result of the re-animated army of undead Non Grata and their growing army of fighters willing to join the charismatic leader's cause. Now more recently, the entrance of 1/3rd of the world's leaders against the forces of Non Grata, having awoken angrily from their peaceful pixel farms at the sight of refugees from the Freehold seeking shelter. Like a furiously groggy and clumsy giant, the combined forces of Oculus (spearheaded presumably by the NPO) summoned forth alliances from all corners of the world to join them in blacklisting Non Grata as a mere band of rogues. Now, they are indeed a band of rogues but this should come as news to nobody, many have considered Non Grata a friend in their long history for this very reason. They have always provided this planet movement whenever there is inertia, as observed by Jerdge recently they are, in a sense, the belligerent neutral of this world (every yin needs a yang). You may not agree with their destructive ways but can you truly deny that you are not enjoying this? Is this not what we exist for? - If however, this is not what you exist for (even if only to watch from the sidelines) this journalist has some advice: Immolate yourselves from this plane. If you want to be a farmer and not a leader; there are other worlds for that. And now some music: ----- "I'd kill you were I given half a chance, Yes I'd like to see you burning while you dance, You make every atom in me want to cry, You twist every word of truth into a lie, You're the unmistakable reason for all pain, Just the very thought of you drives me insane, But I'm fulfilled, Because eventually time will kill, The very space you occupy, Right there at the top of the hill, In this cold inbred excuse, for a world. ---- Kashmiri Psychics fashion door for entry to GATO Mental Quarantine - Peace talks resume "If I come back shaped like a rubber-stamp; someone smash me to bits" - Me. Ever since the paramilitary psychics of Kashmir erected their so-called "Mental Quarantine", the working citizens have enjoyed a brief respite from the near-constant distant sound of bureaucrats braying "RHUBARBRHUBARB" ad nauseum. The sound was soon replaced by the sound of shrieking hounds being freshly skinned; "Like music to my ears" one citizen said. With the mental quarantine now stable, the psychics have fashioned an entrance into the quarantine at the request of myself. "Why in Boognish's name would you risk your sanity in such a way?" I hear you ask. Well; like many of you I decided to get caught up in the frenzy of posting (frenzy by today's standards anyway) and had a few verbal jabs at the leader of the Freehold- we are at war after-all. However, on reflection this struck me as setting a bad tone between us to re-initiate peace talks. So in light of this, I shall be hacking through the mesh of red tape with a machete made from sharpened wolf bones that has already enveloped this entrance and into the hellish bureaucracy world of GATO, for peace. Wish me luck Bob. Introducing: Speak your Brains The Day Today will now be accepting anonymous or named personal accounts of events taking place where The Day Today can and cannot be. All submissions will be considered. Memetic warfare on the rise, RFI rendered powerless "say sike right now" It would seem safe to say, that the one universal constant we all share is indulging in an abundance of memes. No more so than during a time a of war, as there exists no greater source material to fashion propaganda to savage one's opponents. Until recently, the war between Cobralition and RFI has been relatively devoid of memetic warfare and despite General Kanabis' valiant efforts, there has been a notable lack in any memetic reciprocation from RFI intelligence agencies. This journalist can only speculate as to why that is; lack of creativity? lack of activity? lack of ambition? Who knows. Along with the carnage of the added front of NG/NPO (and their swaggering sacks of festering meat) this escalation has brought with it another surge in memetic warfare. These images are applied directly into the opponents skull and studies have shown a dramatic increase in "BAWW" and "REEEE" levels in the the victims blood. As these chemical levels begin to peak, the victim is rendered powerless and compelled to blurt out a series of vaguely incoherent and often contradictory remarks in a desperate attempt to debunk the image itself. Utterly failing to recognise this effort is a futile endeavour and that the only mode of response is to reciprocate in kind and hope to Boognish that it is at least funny, if not on message. Some recent examples: Tonight's featured song can be found here (disclaimer for babas: Bad Words!) That's all for tonight: Sod off.
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