Everyone is going to recruit you here, so I might as well recommend you take a look at the New Pacific Order as an alliance.
But the bigger picture is that you're taking a look at how the alliances run in the wrong manner. The mandates most alliances do impose is the ability to declare war freely, for their entire membership's protection. There could be consequences on all of them if somebody decides to declare a rogue war, so a certain standard of order is always present. Some alliances will allow you to attack the unaligned freely, to steal their technology. (A caveat on this: don't raid red nations. They're protected even if unaligned.) Others will not. There are varying ways that leaders are chosen for all alliances, and standards that they will choose for admission. The fact is nobody wants you or any player to come in, take their money and run.
My own alliance does not run on an election-based system, but one of service, although we do have some elected positions. Positions in leadership are obtained by showing your devotion to the people of the alliance, rather than the self-serving interests that plague the democratic alliances. While we engage in many wars, we have probably the world's finest alliance bank, which is known for sending out billions in financial rebuilding aid once they conclude, rebuilding war-torn nations to even higher levels, providing new nations with the money to buy the harbor they need to make the most of trades, or even providing other needs, and they give this money again and again at the expense of their own growth, in the service of all.
From what you described, my alliance probably doesn't appeal to you, and it wouldn't have appealed to me when I was new, either, but over time, I realised it truly was the correct choice. You will hear the name of the New Pacific Order a great deal as you continue to play, whether in hate or in admiration, simply because of the tremendous influence we have. However, those who hate us are only eventually defeating themselves.
The choice is up to you at this point where to go, but if you choose to go somewhere else, don't forget what I've told you if you become disappointed.
If you do choose to remain independent, locating your nation on the red team is a great idea. The New Pacific Order will protect red nations at our discretion from raids as I've mentioned before (especially those who present cases on our forums in the Red Protection Court), which may even go so far as to declare war on your attackers if they refuse to offer peace, although we will not back you up if you choose to declare wars on others or provoke attacks by offending others. While not as safe or as rewarding as an alliance membership can be, it is an alternative for those who wish to avoid it for whatever personal reason. No other alliance offers this kind of protection.