The Disco Commandant

If this funky Dj gets a nuke dropped on Puerto Rico, and this funky DJ fails to RP having El Presidente escape...well, time to find a new funky El Presidente then. Just this funky Dj's two cents

There was an uproar from the crowd. The betting had been thrown off - nobody had expected catalina to win. The odds against her were 3 to 1. Only one person in the entire country had bet on Catalina, El Presidente, and he was going to be an astoundingly rich man. "Well this is a funky turn of events"

Signed For TCU's Minister of Funky Tiems, The Disco Commandant This funky, funky treaty makes me want to spin some mad mad beats [color="#FF0000"][i]*spins some mad mad beats*[/i][/color]

To: Mad Dog Bob Denard From: Alexander Quantico Regarding: Business and Diplomacy Mr. Denard, our Training/Military Base just outside the San Juan city limits will clear space immediately. It also has it's own naval docks, which any Sea Travel can arrive. We eagerly await your arrival -Quantico

From: the Offices of the Department of Defense from the [b]Funky[/b] Republic of Puerto Rico To: Legion Legion, we are pleased to hear in your inexplicable desire to both like and conduct business with us. As you may have undoubtedly noticed by now, our forces are both under equipped and under developed. Really our police forces sometimes act as a defacto National Guard...in fact, thats exactly what we train our police to be. Our Navy is also, well, nonexistent. The DoD has purchased a number of old and refurbished fishing and Cargo vessels that we have stocked with some weaponry, but nothing [i]Naval[/i], mostly RPGs and AKs and the occasional machine gun. Anything you can send or teach us how to build and use would be greatly Appreciated -Department of Defense Head Alexander Quantico

Threats in the Court room! Can not this funky Court see how untidy his bowl has become?

So, my funky friends, is this a like a Court where this funky DJ takes his complaints to? all of them? if so, this Funky DJ would like to Accuse Tidy Bowl Man over the fact that his Bowl is, in fact, Not Tidy. It is a very messy bowl. This funky DJ uses as initial submitting evidence the clear and unquestionable fact that Tidy Bowl Man has a cat for his avatar. Cats, also known as kittens, felines, fuzzy wuzzy babehs, etc, are famous for their invididualistic and highly messy natures; getting into everything, clawing up paper and God knows the entire sock drawer, climbing up the backs of chairs to nom on hair, and getting tangled up in string. This has obviously led to the situation where Tidy Bowl Man's Bowl is now untidy, Messy, unbearable. This Funky DJ will see justice served

[quote] "While the ideals of the Order and that of our Grandmaster are not particularly geared towards the idea of attempting to restore the Church, Your Excellence brings up a very interesting point that I will have to convey back to Lady Khris. However, even if we do not have the capabilities to restore Holy Mother Church, the faith to God is not lax on us and we know that the teachings of Christ do not support the exploitation of neighbors across the world. At least we can be safe in knowing that we stand with the light shining on the darkness." Christian sighed. "However, we do not come with any blessing, unless that Christ has blessed us without our Order knowing it. Our ideals are simple to understand, but not simple to accomplish. We oppose the use of aggressive expansion of nations, exploitation of any people, genocide, heretical cults that oppose the teachings of Christ and the general injustices of the world and Lord knows there are a lot of them. But perhaps if the Order is successful enough in her endeavors, the faith we inspire could very well birth a new strong Catholic Church in the world. A Church that can take responsibility of her flock." [/quote] "And that Church is here, in Puerto Rico. When you take your message to your leader, your 'Gran Maestro', tell him that the Seat of the Father Church still exists, and it exists in this small island nation" the Archbishop retorted, standing up quickly. He slowly shuffled to the large arched window in that room, stained glass of reds and blues. He took a moment to stare at the picture of Saint John the Baptist, 'San Juan Bautista', before he spoke again. "But the point of the whole matter is, my children, that you have come for Angels. You came, and to your surprise you found God's House, and what remains of the Clergy. You will have Angels, my friends...you will have Angels" =========================================================================================================================== At Church on Sunday, throughout the Puerto Rican islands from the most remote farming village to the inmates in Prison, the people of the Mass were treated to a highly different Sermon. After singing the Hymns, breaking the bread, taking Communion, the priests of the various churches asked for silence and a parting word [color="#FF0000"]"My flock, before you go about your daily lives, to return to your homes, have a beer, enjoy the sun, watch FC San Juan take on Vieques United"[/color] there was some applaud and cheer at this part [color="#FF0000"]"I must make a request, or at least give you some thought for the road. As you no doubt have noticed, a group of...well, a group of men and women out in the world who have come to our Island Nation, seeking those who would join their cause and do good. I have it from a reliable source, the Archbishop himself, that this is a group of Knights, an Order of Knights, who operate under the Banner of one of our Saints"[/color] there was a collective silence of interest as the pastors around the nation spoke to their congregations [color="#FF0000"]"this can only mean that our faith has been rewarded, and that a force, in the Name of God and Goodness, has begun to assert itself. My friends, all of you, if you believe that you Can make the sacrifice, that you have the desire to do significant good in the world, that you can bring God's message to those who have not or will not hear it, then I ask you to consider joining. It is a large sacrifice to join, to be sure, and it is not a decision you should make lightly. If you think you must join this Order of Knights, then come talk to me, whenever you feel ready"[/color] ===================================================================== A full two weeks later, At the San Juan Bautista Monastery, a full 179 people were being sheltered at the Monastery. No elderly, but many young men and women all who felt they had nothing to lose and all to gain. "There are many" Father Romeo remarked "And many more will come, just give it time" Archbishop Luis Languado replied. Many horns could be heard, which attracted both men's attention. Two State Buses rolled into the Monastery gates. Several armed officials jumped off, followed by a line of Prisoners wearing light blue from both buses "over 200 now" Father Romeo said breathlessly

[quote] Christian and Raoul stared in awe that the Archbishop in front of them. The Roman Catholic Church had never been a strong power in the world as of late. There had been various attempts to restore Papal and Church power, but all attempts had drastically failed and with the rise of heretical cults as the Dragon Cult and various political ideologies, Christianity was always struggling to maintain its force in the world. So when you could come face to face with a man of respect and reverence as an Archbishop, it was truly a blessing. The two knights immediately knelt to the floor and crossed themselves before Christian looked up at the holy man. "Your Excellence. My aide and I have come from the Order of St. Adelaide in France and our Grandmaster, Khristine van Donop sends her highest wishes of well regard. We have come to Puerto Rico to find if any of your citizens share the same dream that has begun in France. There is no doubt Your Excellence that you have watched the world begin to fall apart as of late, certain countries seeming to dominate the politics of the entire world and with them they bring exploitation, death, and expansion. No doubt that you've seen the pamphlets that my aide and myself have been distributing, we are hoping to rally a part of your population to our cause, to serve your own Order, your own Chapter Excellence, and to serve God in bringing back a sense of Justice to the world." Christian looked back down at the ground. "I do hope that our presence here has not angered you Excellence, but Puerto Rico can easily become a bastion of freedom surrounded by the Holy American Empire and the Empire of Pravus Ingruo. A bastion of faith and freedom."[/quote] Archbishop Luis Juangado slowly stood up from his chair and slowly shuffled to the kneeling Frenchmen. He stood between them and placed a hand on each of their shoulders, bidding them to rise, an accepting smile on his old and wrinkled face, and then slowly shuffled back to the chair. He gave a measured nod to Father Romeo. "As you have undoubtedly noticed, compañeros, the Catholic Church is in disarray. We do not even know if there is a Pope, or if the Vatican on St. Peters Rock still exists. Even here, in quiet Puerto Rico, the Church is barely organized because we have to operate on our own. Archbishop Luis Juangado, here, is the highest ranking member of the Church in all of the Islands. It is he who leads the Church in Puerto Rico, though we are not sure if he should have more of a title and Rank as befitting the power he wields..." Father Romeo explained, but suddenly the Archbishop clapped his hands. "Silencio! Padre, I have never needed more than the title of Archbishop. The Dioceses of Puerto Rico respect the authority of the Archdiocese, and that is all I have ever needed to keep our Church going in our little island Paradise. Please" he said, indicating other chairs and the Frenchmen "sit" He waited for them to sit, then, taking a drink of water, he looked at them from behind wise old eyes. "You are, perhaps, surprised that Father Church still exists in this island nation? Puerto Rican citizens are of European Descent; Spanish! and long since before our ancestors first set foot on our islands, they were Catholic. They were Christian. I do not know what it is like back in the Home Continent, but from what I see of the world...well, the world has forgotten the message of Christ. Whole countries who follow their Heathen Gods of Old, and even more countries where God, even false ones, have no place. But the people of these islands, the Puerto Rican Islands, have not forgotten their roots, or their religion" he regaled, his voice quavering near the end. "Mi amigos, you must tell me. This order of yours, does it intend to restore the Church? Or must we, here in this small island nation do that ourselves? Does this Knighthood come with the blessing of Christ or is it some attempt to Garner some force of Secular Good?" he asked

Father Cornello of the San Juan Diocese then stood to make himself heard. "It is the official position of the Church in San Juan that God must CERTAINLY have decided that it would be most humorous to have everyone talk like a pirate for a day, just to see what would happen" he told the conference. Well-known Puerto Rican Mad Scientist Hugo Furigala then quickly stood up to say his peice "Clearly is the changing climate! Volcanoes in the Pacific must have somehow affected the Tornado patterns in North America which wildly affected the European Fishing Industry which in turn lead to this Disasterous, Pirate Talking Plague!!!!" he roared, and an assistant stood up and helped him sit back down, where he sat wide-eyed and breathing heavily

Book of Genesis 1:8 And on the 8th Day Admin did make Walkers, and all on Bob used them for combat, and all was well. On the 9th Day Admin saw that many used walkers, and could destroy walkers, and build more and he did cry "NAY" and did smite down Walkers, forcing all of mankind to forget their creation, and the ability to create these behemoths, and did Decree that Walkers shall not walk the Bob again

[quote name='Sarah Tintagyl' timestamp='1285878709' post='2470131'] When Juan and Pedro would eventually reach the city and found Christian and Raoul the two Frenchmen would be quite pleased. This was exactly the opportunity they were waiting for and the fact that the two boys were leading them to a Church only helped cement that the population was indeed interested in the ideals of the Order. The boys led the knights across the tropical terrain of the island, across the rolling dry hills from which ever vantage point a crystal clear sea drifted forever on. Finally after an hour or so of walking and having to keep up pace with the two boys, the knights entered the Monastery of San Juan Bautista. Leave it to the Spanish to be the ones to fall in love with the ideals of Christianity, it was about time that the descendants of the Chivalric Orders finally begin to come together for the first promising goal in years. Reaching the Chapel, the two boys told them that a Father Romeo would be with them shortly. Christian and Raoul stood near the altar and said a quiet prayer and crossing themselves before the sounds of footsteps echoed through the building and the priest approached. "Father Romeo, Padre." Said Christian in the native dialect. "Or at least I assume you are the one that the two young men sent us to meet?" [/quote] Father Romeo took out a kerchief and mopped up his sweating brow. He simply had that problem, sweating; he wasn't nervous or anything. "Sí, mi amigo francés, I am Padre Romeo. Come, please" he replied, and beckoned to a hallway just behind the altar. He led them to a small antechamber, full of ornaments and props for services. Waiting for them as well was another man of typical Puerto Rican Descent; white, with obvious Euro-Spanish heritage. He was also Elderly, and wearing white robes, simple and plain. He was holding a pad of paper and a pen, sitting on one of the red cushioned chairs that were in the room. "Arzobispo" Father Romeo muttered, kneeling before the man. The man made the sign of the cross, and Romeo rose to his feet. He turned to the two frenchmen behind him. "Archbishop Luis Juangado" he told them, indicating the elderly man

Father Romeo strode the silent halls of the church in his monastery, "Monastery" being a loose term. San Juan Bautista Monastery sat outside of San Juan, on the outskirts of a little village near the sea. Within the walled compound was a Church, an Orphanage, two buildings for the Brothers and Sisters dorms respectively, a small library, and many places for the growing of food. It was really a small village in itself, though government sanctioned due to the Orphanage. It was to the Orphanage that that Father Romeo headed on the bright and sunny Republican day. He crossed the courtyard, where many of the younger boys and girls were playing, watched over by the Sisterhood of San Juan Bautista, and it was towards one of these sisters that he walked too. Sister Mary was the oldest sister in the monastery. She had been there for God knows how long, certainly well before the Republic founded. Wrinkled, slow, and strangely smelling of some tough fabric, Sister Mary was the sharpest lady Father Romeo had ever known. She was also very spry, though she didn't let on to that fact very often. She was sitting in a rocking chair in front of the Orphanage's main door when Father Romeo strode purposefully towards the door. "Business, Padre Romeo?" She asked, not even looking from her knitting (she did needlework to keep up the whole "extremely old lady" persona). "Yes, Sister Mary, I need two of the older boys to run into town for me" Father Romeo said, trying to keep his calm and cool. Sister Mary merely 'hmphed' as she continued threading what appeared to be a pair of blue gloves. "Need them to find those two foreign types, si?" she asked after an uncomfortable minute of silence between the two. Father Romeo could only shake his head, never knowing how she knew so many things without ever leaving the Monastery. "Si" he said, quite humbled. She continued to rock for what seemed an eternity, knitting those gloves. Father Romeo broke into a cold sweat, eyeing the needle as it pierced the thread, in and out and in and out and in an... "Very well" Sister Mary said, forcing Father Romeo to start "Que?" he said, his mind a little numb from the jump "I said 'Very Well'. I will send Pedro and Juan, they are both old enough to drive, and they constantly visit the city, ever since they turned of Age to do so. Where shall they be brought?" she said and asked, very brisk, very sharp, very no-nonsense. "The Chapel, if you please" Father Romeo said. Sister Mary returned to her knitting, giving Father Romeo a wave of dismissal, which he took wholeheartedly, and returned to the church

because reality is what humanity believes, and people stopped believing in walkers, and thus they became nothing more than a figment of long forgotten imagination

El Presidente himself sat upon the radio tower with a pair of binoculars, accompanied (as always) by Juanito, his closest friend and Vice Presidente. Funky Republican Soldiers surrounded the two combatants, giving Ai and Catalina a large clear circle in which to fight. The fight was being aired on television around the country, and international reporters were allowed in the country for the event (hell, they were always allowed in the country). Official Betting was being held inside the old Radio station itself (the Old Radio Station happened to be El Presidente's old DJ Radio Station that he operated until being voted in as El Presidente). As the crowd began to get Restless, El Presidente picked up a megaphone, which could be heard as a megaphone was meant to be heard, but as well from the old radio station's sound system, which played the message for those who were too far back. [color="#FF0000"]"Ladies and Gentlemen, Women and Not-so-gentlemen, Hola! Welcome to REVOLUTION! The once in a year or so opportunity to witness the deciding battle, fought between political leaders over the fate of the once proud nation of Procintia!"[/color] the crowd roars and cheers at this. The Republican Soldiers, having finished setting up a wide ring bordered by old wooden roadblocks, then left the ring, leaving the Two Combatants to themselves. Juanito then picked up his megaphone "Folks, I am proud to say that I have one of the best seats in the house. This is gonna be sweet" he said, very happy with todays events El Presidente nodded his approval "With that said, Ladies, whenever you're ready"

EDIT: I SEE THE THREAD RAWR

This funky DJ demands more beats [size="6"][u][b][i][color="#FF0000"]*spins some mad beats*[/color][/i][/b][/u][/size] there, doncha feel better now?

This is possibly awesome. This funky DJ has been laughing the last whole page

[i]I Am Legend[/i] missed the point of the original movie, just like [i]Pearl Harbor[/i] missed the point of remembering the RL event of Pearl Harbor. on a related note, this funky DJ doesn't believe that any form of animu/furry nonsense should be allowed. It's only plausible in the twisted imaginations of awkward teenagers who wear fox-tails and ears to school

Goth kids and young adults around the country saw the tape on television, and immediately thought it was cool and began to develop a cult of vampire hunters. However, Scenesters across Puerto Rico, noticing that Goth folks were into something original, immediately began to infiltrate such Vampire Hunter Cults, immediately destroying any coolness and originality it had.

This funky DJ better not be reading that dragons and magic and whatever nonsense is recognized RP here

Emilio Esteves, prime buccaneer o' this ship be reporting to ye live as this new infectious disease spreads throughout the ship, country, and world (and ship). be this a funky development? ye tell us! Contact your local reporter and give your opinion here at Funky Republican News!

An old Radio Station, Now converted to to listen in on International Broadcasts for the government. The college intern manning the radio section was busy lighting up when he heard the request for a neutral venue. Quickly, he called his supervisor, telling him of the request. His supervisor called his supervisor, who called a cab, which took him to the capitol building, and then proceeded to talk to a receptionist, then wait impatiently for an hour, then finally escorted to El Presidente's office to: Catalina Martinez, Catalina’s Cantina, (New) Saint Paul City, Saint Paul Island And Ai Yorishiro, Procinctia-Slavorussia Joint Administion Building, Bering Island\ *Open Broadcast* From: El Presidente Eriksen Frey, Capitol Building, San Juan, Funky Republic of Puerto Rico Hey Hey funky kids, I, El Presidente, in agreement with Vice Presidente Juanito, extend the offer of being the Neutral Venue for your REVOLUTION

I am unsure if this is the right spot to post this, but it seems to be so I'll just do it and face consequences later. I just wanted to say that as I now have internet in my new APT (after 3 months woo) which means that I am back to being something of a regular.