I was a long-standing member of TOOL just prior to their last war. On the day gov announced targets, several nations who felt they could not sustain war at that time asked MilCom if they could hippie to prepare. Those we felt could benefit were given permission. AT THE SAME TIME, those same nations were top-listed for war aid/rebuild. We didn't tell those nations that; we counted on their knowing that we always, from our glorious beginnings, did this simply as a matter of course--as a matter of honor. Those who we felt could not benefit from being in PM, we told. We also told them we would get their aid to them first. Why? Because, no matter your NS, your nation is your CN life, your blood.
Several nations simply left. Some (most, iirc) requested demasking, posted their GBCW, and left the AA. Those were dismissed members from the AA prior to the commencement of battle. These were all, in one form or another, nations as yours was as you began your Alliance life in GLoF. Some were too new to the game, or too new to the game AND the Alliance to sustain even the most minimal attack, with virtually no chance of building up defensive forces if (when) attacked. That's one thing.
There were, I believe, 23 nations total who just...left the AA. No "Help!", no pleas, no nuthin'. After the assignments, and before (or on the first day of) war commenced, these members left the Alliance, the community, the friends, and all that TOOL stood for. They were listed as traitors, blacklisted from the AA, and sought out and destroyed. Why?
In our AA, there were some things one just simply did not do. For any reason. An entire alliance dismissed entirely, without even the first opportunity to prove faithfulness to even the least of our community. What they felt was a reasonable decision was a slap in every member's face, an outright assault on our principles, and a black stain our rather well thought-of history on CN. Suddenly, it was the "[b][i]name[/i][/b]" of the AA that had been damaged, without justifiable cause. These rulers either did not understand, or otherwise they did not accept what every member of our community spent four years building one war battling pixel after another, time after time. It was the Alliance that was damaged, you see. It completely need not have been. But, the decision by a ruler to simply abandon the AA? That's just not going to go unnoticed.
I know that, if I were to call ANY member of The Order of Light in this moment, needing protection, help, or anything else, I would get nations running to my aid from all over CN. Yes, I earned it. But, [u]so did they earn the opportunity to respond[/u]. If they were to do it, I would go running to their aid as well. Call it [i]espirit de corps [/i]if you want to[i]. [/i]It lives on, even to this moment. Not as the TOOL AA (that's gone now), but what TOOL has always stood for in CN. Much more than pixels on a war screen, our AA is a brotherhood, a fellowship from which NO member can voluntarily remove themself.
It sounds to me like you found one, too. It sounds like you had a lapse of faith in a community you did not yet know, nor understand. You presumed facts not in evidence, and made what was for you, and for the AA, a very unworthy mistake. Given your CN "age" and history, that comes as a bit of a surprise to me, because the walk doesn't justify the talk. Regardless, I must tell you that there is another important factor in play here. [b]Honor[/b].
GLoF, from all I have seen, read, and from members I have talked to, is a "STRAC" alliance. They stand tall for their community, and for those whom they call friends. When your enemies speak well of you, listen. Honor is not demanded for it's rightful place, anywhere. Honor is commanded by the walk of the talk. You either do, or you don't. They were the offended party. It is your DUTY TO HONOR to do the right thing, to attempt to correct the dishonor you have brought upon what is, from all appearances, a very honorable alliance that any player in this game would gladly find as a home.
This is not their duty to fix anything, however. It is yours, friend. Because of the intensity of your argument, it seems to me that such things as honor matter to you.[OOC] Given your current military situation, it had damned well better. (Take that from a retired O-6, USA). In the RL, buddies, squads, platoons, companies--and nations depend on it. Your Honor.[/OOC] Here, it is what we do, as players, when nobody's looking, when the lights are off. Go to the GLoF government, sincerely apologize, receive without comment the punishment you are rightfully assigned, and then do your very best to rejoin that alliance and EARN the respect you seek. Theirs will matter. To you. And, to be quite honest, to us, too.
I wish you well on your journey!