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Sardonic

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  1. Sardonic
    The Worst Coalition Ever is built on a sturdy foundation of trust honor, and...
    Oh my
    Spoiler warning

    Yep
    [21:06] <@TCK> Schatt we will need a forum and a milcom area. W need to start running stats etc
    [21:06] <@Peggy_Sue|UPN> and Invicta
    [21:06] <@Peggy_Sue|UPN> we have three other allies that don't know yet
    [21:06] <@Supa_Troop3r[DT]> Poyples. most likely will us.
    [21:06] <@Peggy_Sue|UPN> inactive problems
    Peggy Sue knows all about inactive problems
    more in part 7
  2. Sardonic
    Some interesting statistics


    Recently some statistics were pulled that made me extremely proud of our military. At any given moment we are practically at war with the unaligned half of the game. If you search for our wars you'll quickly see that we are doing our fair share of raiding.
    Goons to War: 1 : 1.13
    For every goon, a war, and then some.
    Current wars: 2244
    Current GOONS Wars: 367
    % of wars that are GOONS: 16.35%
    GOONS accounts for 16.35% of all wars going on right now. Hopefully as our numbers increase this number can reach even higher, although as we age our core will be raiding less, so that may depress the number some.
    Goons make up 1.28% of population.
    We make up a small part of the overall population, but this will increase with time as well.
    Given all of the above, it is estimated that your average GOONS member is 1205% more likely to be in a war than your "average" nation. Though we are at a low average NS, this too will change in time, and we will be up there with the rest of them.
  3. Sardonic
    You sign into IRC and join your alliances' private channel. You see the few regulars left idling, you try to engage them in conversation, but they offer no reply.
    The channel is dead.
    You join the public channel, searching for signs of life. You see the same regulars, with a few foreign dignitaries who hadn't gotten around to removing the channel from their autojoin script. You try to engage people here, too, but the only response is a few people leaving the channel, reminded of its existence.
    This channel too, is dead.
    You give up, the stagnation is too much to bear, and view the alliance forums. The last post on the forums was 3 weeks ago, asking if anybody was out there.
    The alliance is dead.
    For many alliances this is not only the future, but the present. Once great alliances are falling season-long falls. Where there seemed hope, there is now desperation. The extinction rate of alliances appears to have had a significant uptick this year, with no signs of it decreasing in the near future. While the above does not apply to everyone, of course, to those it does: Before your alliance goes down, taking you with it, wouldn't you like a different perspective, a new alliance? There is no need to delete or go inactive, without at least trying a different one.
    What GOONS offers:

    A future



    There are bigger alliances than GOONS, there are alliances growing faster than GOONS, but we have a lot more potential than the average alliance. The alliance is due for an enormous expansion, especially with the posting of a new SA thread. I don't have any illusions that we'll get sanctioned overnight, but I do see it in our future. The foundation is there, and our community has reached the critical mass: where we easily get more members per day passively than we lose. An extremely difficult point for many alliances to reach.
    We will be in all major conflicts in the future, and we will win. We have picked our allies well, they are both our good friends, and military powerhouses. Our own forces are extremely active. We might not have the highest number of large nations, but we are extremely active, and our update rushes are legendary. You can always be sure of a big turnout on war night, and a big payout upon completion of the war.

    A community


    The community is strong. At time of writing there are 45 members in our private channel. There are always people willing to talk about your cat, your bad day at work, how great tech raiding is, or other topics. The forums are active as ever and full of discussion, some of it legible. The community is centered around common themes such as: intelligent humor, ironically terrible jokes, and the tears of our enemies. Our culture has unarguably been one of the most influential ones in the game, even after the demise of the old GOONS. Whether you've realized it or not, you've been influenced by it. Try it directly, you might just find you fit in perfectly.

    A change in perspective


    Some say we are evil. I regret to say these rumors are true. We hate everything you stand for, I'm sorry. Seriously though, we have a far different outlook from the bleeding hearts decrying the rights of unaligned nations. We declare tech raiding to be a fun, honest pastime. We respect the rights of the raider, so long as they follow our rules to the letter. Nobody likes tech raiding incidents, after all.
    In Conclusion...
    With our new constitution we have lifted the requirement of an SA account. This opens the way for interested non-goons to enter the alliance. It is a complete change to the usual experience, that I am sure many people would enjoy, were they to try it.

    CLICK HERE TO APPLY NOW

  4. Sardonic
    I never trusted salithus.
    Of course, coming from the person wronged, that kind of statement can oftentimes be a lie, that the person saying it had no idea it was coming.
    This was not the case.
    salithus and I had a very troubled history. I knew that one day something like this would happen. When this finally went down, I was well prepared. Or at least as well-prepared as I could be, given the circumstances. I spent many days in the office where I work running through the various scenarios in my mind. I thought about it constantly, I was obsessed. It kept me up at night. I knew the rubber was going to hit the road, and soon.
    This log is from a few days before the incident:
    [21:41] <salithus> you're afraid to push the envelope
    [21:41] <salithus> but my boss's boss does the same thing
    [21:41] <salithus> too many years spent in a position where you couldn't without being fired (or losing infra)
    [21:41] <Sardonic> What do you mean by pushing the envelope on the macro level?
    [21:42] <salithus> to take any sort of risk
    [21:42] <salithus> you always default to playing it safe
    [21:42] <salithus> never aggressive
    [21:42] <Sardonic> Well I wouldn't say always
    [21:44] <Sardonic> So what kinds of things would you like to me to do differntly?
    [21:45] <salithus> nothing in the role of Pilot
    [21:45] <salithus> but I'm contemplating (for that reorg I mentioned) splitting out the Secretariat role
    [21:45] <salithus> into areas that focus on:
    [21:45] <salithus> 1) Creating new relationships.
    [21:46] <salithus> 2) Handling treaties (negotiating/writing/periodic review/incident handling)
    [21:46] <salithus> 3) Incident handling for non-treaty incidents.
    [21:46] <salithus> you'd head up #1
    [21:46] <Sardonic> ah
    [21:47] <salithus> doesn't mean everyone you talk to we'd have to treaty with
    salithus never respected me. He overreached his authority constantly because he knew that the boards were his. The above was during a time when he decided he didn't like the way government was organized, so he started a reorganization. Of course, as Stategos he did not have the power to reorganize government, but that didn't really matter to him. He wanted me out of Pilot, and into a position with exactly 1/3 the power of secretariat. If he had done this without anyone's approval, and remasked himself as Pilot, that would be my signal to rehost the forums elsewhere and declare him a traitor.
    That is how I expected this to go down, that is what I had prepared all my forums posts/mass messages/etc for.
    That is not what happened.
    During the 'reorg' he removed everybody's admin rights to the forum but his, only restoring a few bits, but not the whole. Fortunately I saved my database copy before he did this. The other point at which I knew a coup was imminent would be if he refused to give me back my admin rights, which he had been extremely slow at. There is no excuse, it was the checking of a box, and I should have been the first person's access he fixed. I was going to set a deadline yesterday that if he passed I would declare him in dereliction of his duty and start the moving process, but that didn't happen either.
    Instead, my good friend the co-pilot gave me the admin rights back and apparently got into an argument with salithus which hurt salithus' feelings so much, he took his ball and went home.
    As far as I'm concerned there was no good reason for him to do this. Regardless of how it happened we are stronger for it. His cancerous presence in the alliance had been a thorn in my side for a long time, even from before CN. He was never satisfied with my decisions, and started fights for the pure fun of it in IRC.
    And now we are rid of him, we are finally free.
    Edit: Mentioning other games is bad. - Revan
  5. Sardonic
    Once upon a time a Goon tech raided another nation. The other nation was informed to take up the issue on the 'mercy board', for the raid to stop.
    This was the start of something beautiful.
    The high war adjudicator, Beefspari, presented these two options:
    OPTION #1:
    Write a persuasive essay comparing squares to triangles, and explain which one is better. The essay must be at least 200 words and in persuasive format. Meaning, explain subjective reasoning why one is better in an attempt to have the reader agree with your position.
    OPTION #2:
    Draw a political cartoon in which a boy is reunited with his dog. The dog is also constantly on fire. As a political cartoon, it can only be 1 or 2 panels, and everything must be labeled in a symbolic way. You may draw the cartoon and then scan it, or simply draw it in some sort of art program on your computer (such as MS Paint).
    Fulfilling either of these terms would stop the raid (for good).
    Little did we know that this particular leader had a creative spark.
    He wrote this:
    Not only was it sufficient, it succeeded in convincing us of the triangle's ultimate superiority.
    Here's to you, The Director, you created what others could not.
  8. Sardonic
    But... But my nation...


    To: <removed> From: <removed> Date: 2/15/2010 2:25:32 AM
    Subject: RE: <removed> información
    Message: I have the honor to salute you.
    I accept your temrs, and I will apply for them. Please stop your attacks,before my nation will dissapear.You are at one step to destroy me completly.
    Please give the necessary time,to restore the government ( now is anarchy ),and to be able to apply furthermore to your peace conditions.
    Thank you for your understanding.
    Respectfully,<removed>:.
    To: <removed> From: <removed> Date: 2/16/2010 10:29:36 PM
    Subject: RE: Si.
    Message: I have the honor to salute you. Thank you for your response,but,as I sayed,I don't trust in Forum regulations,as long as they are so complicated,and they don't specify clearly about eventual fees.Legally,this is s trick,wich will allow the owner of the game to ask money at any time,and even more than that to set up law suit's for those who will not comply.And all of this will be perfectly legal,as long as someone accepted the Terms&Conditions.I choose safety. Next step is yours.I hope this "issue", will not determine you to continue the attacks; and we can have a good collaboration in the Alliance.Anyway <their> alliance did nothing to help the members,just empty words "help is on the way". Even yesterday, I have receive a simillar message.
    Thank you for your understanding.
    Respectfully, <removed>:.
    To: <removed> From: <removed> Date: 2/7/2010 3:47:00 AM
    Subject: RE: Nuclear Attack
    Message: wow u used a nuke on a nation who doesnt beleave in owning nukes u must think your cool
    Subject: Peace Offer
    Message: A peace offer has been submitted by <removed> for the following reason: God <their alliance, removed> are #$@@$%es
    To: <removed> From: <removed> Date: 2/19/2010 7:55:24 PM
    Subject: Our War
    Message: Well, I see you too have come to pick at the bones of my nation. Pick away, then, vulture. I'm finished fighting this war, and as soon as my last aid deal expires, I'm deleting my nation. You win. I hope you're happy.
    To: <removed> From: <removed> Date: 2/17/2010 8:05:09 AM
    Subject: war
    Message: i cant change my alliance thingie other wise i cant get aid and my gift from my alliance....the rest i have have complied with, give me a break
    To: <removed> From: <removed> Date: 2/15/2010 9:34:29 PM
    Subject: RE: Surrender Terms
    Message:
    The sad fact is that GOONS has already lost.
    Authors note: the following is a follow up to the previous classic "We do not recognize GOONS as an alliance" tear:
    To: <removed, same as above> From: <removed, same as above> Date: 2/15/2010 10:32:37 PM
    Subject: RE: Imaginary Reply Pt. 2
    Message: No wonder all your higher ups were such push-overs, <removed alliance> imaginations died a long time ago. To make an analogy, GOONS is the "food" the Lost Boys eat in the 1991 film Hook, and <removed alliance> is a much better alliance than GOONS. Not a very good analogy, but it gets my point across.
    Don't think you can win a war just because your weak guys are stronger than our weak guys.
    To: <removed> From: <removed> Date: 2/15/2010 10:58:32 PM
    Subject: RE: Imaginary Reply Pt. 2
    Message: Look Broseidon, God of the Brocean, let's just put it this way, we are real in a sense of we have real pride in ourselves, and real comradery. What is not real is my imaginary money, imaginary tanks, or you. You may find it strange as to why I would be talking to something I find imaginary, you must realize we <alliance>ers are crazy, and don't mind talking to things such as fake GOONS, cats, or even ourselves. We don't mind jokes about abortion, the Holocaust, or burning Russian night clubs. THESE PUTAS ARE LOCO. GRINGO.
    Also, Something Awful sucks, LAWL.
    p.s. We're totally going to win, bro.
    To: <removed> From: <removed> Date: 2/14/2010 4:22:52 AM
    Subject: RE: LOL
    Message: I know its the devil. I am not attacking anymore. All I seem to do is give you one million here and there.
    To: <removed> From: <removed> Date: 2/13/2010 5:04:57 AM
    Subject: RE: Good morning.
    Message: Yes i noticed that GOONS realy know what they do, also i ignord to by gorilla camps, i see now that they are prety wel spent monny.
    To: <removed> From: <removed> Date: 2/18/2010 7:02:03 PM
    Subject: Our conversation, your &#33;@#&#036;%baggery
    Message: I'll make you a deal:
    Let me $%&* in an envelope, and send it to your residence. Get a camcorder, and film yourself eating my $%&*, then send me the video. Maybe then I'll consider surrender an option. Until then, you can go right ahead and swallow a bottle of Tylenol, and down it with a pint of Laird's vodka.
    Good day.
    Subject: war
    Message: do you just want to $%&* off, stupid $%&*
    To: <removed> From: <removed> Date: 2/10/2010 5:08:51 PM
    Subject: War!!!
    Message: Stop fighting versus <removed>, or i will say my alliance to declear you the war!!!
    Subject: RE: Want peace? Read this.
    Message: how many goons does it take to take to battle 1 <alliance> guy? answer 5 and i turned all 5 around and won what makes you think your going to be diffrent? answer your not. how about you just save some time and surrender to me?
    To: <Removed> From: <removed> Date: 2/19/2010 10:53:08 PM
    Subject: RE: Battle Report
    Message: If I was literally 30 seconds faster, that second attack would've been a failure too. Damn you spying me, how am I meant to fight wars now!
    To: <removed> From: <removed> Date: 2/20/2010 1:14:49 AM
    Subject: RE: What the hell
    Message: Well, my chances of winning are 0%, so there really isn't much point.
    I'd ask politely for you to stop attacking me. I probably shouldn't have declared without a much better understanding of how war was conducted in cybernations.
    To: <removed1> From: <removed> Date: 2/21/2010 4:42:07 AM
    Subject: Your slow
    Message: Please stop sending me messages. I stopped fighting as soon as i was told to. I don't need directions from you, you don't lead me. I have already sent peace to everyone im at war with so mind your business.
    To: <removed1> From: <removed> Date: 2/21/2010 7:54:09 AM
    Subject: RE: Oh I forgot to mention
    Message: Lmao you have no life. If you must know i didn't play the game that much for the first three months... Second i was drunk last night... Third i wish you would have declared war on me. I have plenty of money. I love when people waste their time. So im going to say it again. Stop messaging me =D Cya fruit cup
    To: <removed1> From: <removed> Date: 2/21/2010 7:57:01 AM
    Subject: RE: I sent you one message
    Message: Lmao i wonder how thick you are fatty...
    To: <removed1> From: <removed> Date: 2/21/2010 8:16:30 AM
    Subject: Btw fatty mc fruit nerd
    Message: YOUR FACE IS ATROCIOUS. Just wanted to say that.
    Contributors:
    LenKu
    Deathwing
    Alonois
    JuiceBoxHero
    RepliCarter
    Kobax
    magicmountain
    xenocidebrm
    Pixel Boy
    Nippy
    Bloodjewel
    Hidraca
    Ignoranus


  9. Sardonic

    Pubbie Tears: Volume 1

    By Sardonic,

    A Ripe Harvest


    Throughout this war we have discovered both our own combat abilities, and the difference between our resolve and that of our enemies. This war has been fun in its own right, but the following quotes are the icing on the cake. But enough about that, it's time for some Pubbie Tears®!
    Names have been removed to protect the pathetic.
    Subject: RE: Surrender terms
    Message: I will accept all conditions accept becoming POW. I cannot honorably do so. I will agree to all other conditions and to leave <removed>. I have nothing to gain from this war, I do not wish to continue hostilities but I would rather fight to the death that accept POW status. I give you my word I will not help them, I am not even politically active in the organization, I haven't spoken to a member of <removed> for months. They have protected me from rouge attacks and my soldiers have died in battle for them in compensation. I have no resources or reason to continue to assist them in their war, I do not even know the causes or purpose of this conflict. You have my word on all I stated above, I am willing to negotiate a peace with these terms, I await your response.
    Subject: RE: Surrender Terms
    Message: Did Col.Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain and the 20th Maine surrender during the Battle for Little Round Top on the second day of Gettysburg, Did General Armistead surrender once his men made it to the High Water Mark on the third day?
    Subject: Alright READ ME FIRST!
    Message: I have gone to DEFCON 5 because I see I cannot fight you. I will be able to collect 3million for you shortly and will send 50 tech along with soldiers. I hope this will count as a surrender. Please do not attack and offer peace once you recieve it. I will not attack after re-set. I repeat, please do not attack. I surrender as I see I cannot win. Consider my payment to you an apology.
    Humbled by your incredible firepower, <removed>.
    Subject: take that
    Message: just for your insolence, I'm sending ALL of my money and technology to an undisclosed location for the duration of your bordom.
    People should learn lessons from WWI and WWII. Sure, I know it's not the same here but WWII was mainly caused by the embarrassment put on Germany by the terms of it's surrender.
    Anyhow, I'm not going to accept those terms and for that reason will not be surrendering.
    Subject: RE: Defeat Alert
    Message: I don't care. You're really boring. You will not get any cake.
    Subject: Peace Offer
    Message: A peace offer has been submitted by <removed> for the following reason: GOONS shouldve stayed dead
    As soon as both nations accept peace the war will end. If either nation attacks one another this peace offer will be automatically canceled.
    Subject: are u the leader of that allince
    Message: if so i would be greatful if you ask this nation (<removed>) to stop attacking me he is in your allince. im the weakest one in my allince. i offered peace he wont stop. if you would could you tell him to stop. this is a privet message its also a peace offer from me to you. if you dont do anything i under stand.
    peace from <removed>
    Subject: RE: The Terms of your Surrender
    Message: So you think you have won? So you think all is well? Well kiss my green, I shall see you in hell.
    Subject: RE: Defeat Alert
    Message: I was already destroyered by the goons and now you have taken the little that i ahve left, the goons a powerful warmongering alliance
    Message: can u give me a break, i need to build up!!
    thanks
    And finally, my personal favorite:
    Subject: RE: Surrender Terms
    Message: I'd love to surrender, but due to the fact that <removed alliance> does not, at this time, recognized GOONS as a legitimate alliance, I cannot.
    Contributors:
    StupidLikeAFox
    Epinephrine
    Alonois
    Nomnom Cookie
    lamuella
    ChapterMasterProphet
    Momtartin
    Hidraca
    Booster
    Kobax
    JamezBfod


  10. Sardonic
    Currency in Cybernations: A meaningless personalization choice? Not so.


    Some might think so, most probably do. To Goons however, there is but one true currency: the Dong. Why is this you might ask? There is humor in it. A subtle, almost self-deprecatingly ironic, immature humor. This in many ways encapsulates the goon mindset of maximizing humor, and the type of humor we find hilarious. this does not however mean we find everything hilarious, far from it, we have very strict humor standards in certain fields of humor.

    We *Hate* "LULZ"


    This is a distinction that I am surprised we have to make. The very *word* "LULZ" is a 4chan construct. For a long time on SA it has been bannable to even use it. "LULZ" comes from a mindset of unintelligent humor. At its core, Goon humor can be described as whimsically irreverent humor. The humor, for the most part, also transcends the misguided "offensive for edgyness' sake" branch of humor, that has sadly become synonymous with us, even though it does not define us. While elements of that exist, I would be a fool to deny it, they are not the primary focus.

    Pubbies: Why are Goons so condescending?


    We feel superior to 'normal' players of games because with each Goon group in an online game, we bring our culture. In many ways Something Awful is seen as a walled city, jutting up from a sea of filth. Central to Something Awful is the motto "The Internet makes you stupid". We don't see ourselves as part of the unwashed masses, we are special and unique snowflakes, we paid $10 and we'll be damned if we don't use it. We think of ourselves as an internet community beyond internet communities, an internet community with standards. While on its face this seems patently hypocritical, but our standards are not what you'd expect.

    What happens?


    Simply put, if you violate any written rules, or even any unwritten societal rules you will get probated (no posting for a day, few days, week, or even month), banned, or even permabanned. Bans require $10 to overturn. Take for example these three actions:

    These are minor offenses, but still indicative. If these users continue, they will probably be banned down the line. In general though, you have to try pretty hard to get outright permabanned. The standards relate to using AOL speak, being a 4channer, being a furry, saying something terrible unironically, or just posting the goatman. There are a variety of standards, and they shaped the community into the large hivemind of roughly similar people it is now. If you are interested, please check the ban list here. I forget if it requires a login or not.

    What does this mean for GOONS the alliance?


    Well as you might expect from an alliance derived from such a community, we too strive to meet the same standards, but in a different way. Here the leadership has to keep the torch lit and the standards high, without risking alienation of the general membership. Naturally, we don't charge entry into the alliance, so a certain level of cultural contamination is assured. A typical pattern of large-scale Goon game operations is the letting in of non-Goons (pubbies). Fortunately, for the most part, they adapt to our culture, rather than them changing us. Some elements certain pubbies brought in were central to the alliance's success in the original CNGOONS. Many people joined SA after having been in the original CNGOONS.

    In summary:


    The culture of the original GOONS was it's main selling point. It grew and grew and grew until its peak at 1200 or so. A part of me hopes for a return to those kind of numbers, but it will be quite some time, and we will have to convert many pubbies to do so. We have a lot of work to do on getting our own culture into high gear. Our culture will not be the exact same as the old GOONS, we came from a place where we had to diplomatically fight for our lives to survive, and we put a high focus on prudent diplomatic action. This is not to say we fear war, in truth, we relish it, but we also have the benefit of knowing the benefit of allies.
    A favorite quote of mine from Al Capone was "You can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word". I personally extend the meaning to. "In the absence of a gun, you can get more with a kind word than an unkind one". We're not so bad if you get to know us.
  11. Sardonic
    The Question


    A thread runs throughout all the Goon gaming guilds, across all the various games we play. It is the question that the leadership will have to ask, find an answer for, and ultimately to choose to ignore or adapt. The question: "How much can we get away with?" The answer is different for each game. Goonswarm, the EVE goon group, at its peak was a bastion of letting its members get away with whatever they wanted. Goonswarm's membership garnered billions of isk (the in-game currency) through scamming, and other mischief. Most other Goon groups however have to find a middle path between what is fun/ideologically pure and what is necessary for survival.

    Historical Perspective


    Recently I had a great talk with a scholar of GOONS history (hi babyjesus). He confirmed what I had known from my discussions with other Ex-GOONS from the time. As time dragged on, the old CNGOONS government (for the most part) became less and less concerned with the survival of the alliance. Their recklessness cost them many allies, culminating in their defeat at the end of the UJP war. Rather than pass on the alliance to the next generation of leadership, they killed it, and arguably with it, the largest community of Goons in any browser game. They found their answer to the question, and it was a simple "no". They rejected the rules of the game, their former allies, and eventually the game itself.
    On the moon we found an easily reachable answer. Everything about the game was lax, the moderators, the diplomacy, the risks involved with war, the game itself. It was an ideal world to learn our trade. We found the middle path, and we rarely strayed, and were able to accomplish much hilarity. We operated within the confines of the game, stuck with it, and eventually won, and did it with style. We successfully passed down the most important position (Pilot) a good many times. The truest test of any browser based alliance is process of passing the reigns to the next generation of leaders. If an alliance cannot survive this, it has failed. The old CNGOONS failed.

    Finding the next answer


    As we near our first anniversary, I've taken stock of where we've been, what we've accomplished, what enemies we've made, what allies we've gained, and what allies we've lost. I can't say I have no regrets, and there were certainly a lot of things I'd have done differently now, but we have done well for ourselves. We have had a few run-ins with the reckless mentality of old, but in the end cooler heads have prevailed. We're having a blast in the war, and it was everything we hoped it would be, we have good relations with our allies, and internally things have never been better. I don't see us making the same mistakes as the GOONS of old did, our answer is far more reasonable.
  12. Sardonic
    Why start with NpO/NPO?


    When we were beginning the process of coming back, a conscious decision was made to start at the perceived 'center' of the game. This approach was the right one for several reasons. The main practical reason was to form relationships with the most powerful and well connected, and use that as leverage. This prevented us from having to go around making peace with every alliance at war with the former GOONS. I do not know how it would have gone had gone with attempting peace with all, but I doubt it would have ended favorably. One of the more interesting bits of information I uncovered while negotiating with one of NPO's main allies for the return was that we were not the first group of Goons to attempt to reform GOONS, I believe they said there had been at least three prior attempts, they probably picked the wrong approach.

    What actually happened?


    The protectorate was originally only with NpO. As part of negotiations, NPO wanted in on the treaty too. After deliberation we decided to roll with it. Negotiations were slow at first, as there was a lot going on. We were sent by NpO/NPO to argue our case to a few choice allies, to make sure everything was in order. We then got the treaty approved by NpO and NPO in that order. We then posted it. (Which I can't find a link to, but you can imagine the mess that thread was)

    Opinion on Both and Case


    At its core the protectorate was more with NpO than NPO. The issue of joint custody came up because I believe both alliances wanted to use our power, to have us as allies. I don't really have a problem with that line of thinking. We certainly don't come into this expecting to be negotiating from a position of power, but we were treated fairly like equals while presenting our case. The case being, essentially, that we were not Those GOONS, and that those of the membership of the old GOONS (myself included) were betrayed by our government. Which was and is still true. This case went surprisingly well with the primary allies of NpO and NPO. I'm glad that everyone was reasonable, even one dissenting alliance could have stonewalled the entire reconciliation.

    Opinion on NPO


    NPO was a special case. A *lot* of Goons have a severely negative opinion of NPO, citing a belief that they either abandoned us or deliberately killed us. I personally do not subscribe to either conspiracy theory. My understanding of the incident is that the conflict between the old GOONS and NpO forced them neutral, until a conflict far enough from the core of the primary war combatants opened up (This is the logic we used to defend Umbrella in the short lived NpO/\m/&&PC War, rather than staying true neutral). This is reasonable, they had two allies fighting, this is a precedent set a long time ago to not interfere directly when allies fight.
    With respect to the reformation however, the longest part of it, in-arguably, was waiting for Moo to get back to us. It took a solid month from the time the treaty was sent to get it signed. I realize that there was a lot going on at that time period (to say the least), but we genuinely felt we were getting stonewalled. However, it all worked out in the end. Part of me regrets that we had to sever the tie as part of NPO's surrender terms, I feel with a little more active diplomacy we probably could have worked things out.

    Opinion on NpO


    Again, NpO was integral to our entire reformation effort. I credit them directly (after salithus and I, ofc) for the reformation of the alliance. This is why I regard them so highly. Without them there would probably not be a GOONS, I cannot really overstate this enough. In the time of their second chance, they gave us one.
    Interestingly enough, our friendship with NpO started very indirectly. On the moon, a lot of NpO members were in an alliance we were allied to for the vast majority of the game. While politics kept us seemingly never fighting directly for each other, ours was one of the strongest bonds in the game. I met my good friends DFD, Draz, and Swiper there. They also formed an alliance in Galava, KoS, and we did some fun stuff in the brief period we played it, or rather, made plans to. It was dynamite on paper, but that's something for a later entry.
    Anyway the core diplomacy took place between salithus Grub and I. I honestly think that the Grub then is a different person from the Grub today. I still have respect for Grub, but still recognize the unanimous complaints from the other government about his posting about us. With Penguin taking over for Grub I look forward to building relations again, and hopefully someday reinstating our treaty, both governments permitting.
  13. Sardonic
    Greetings and welcome.
    I decided to make this blog to give interested people an insight into GOONS. I am not sure how long I will continue it, but if there is sufficient interest, time permitting, I will keep it going.

    What is a Goon, anyway?


    Most simply a Goon is a member of the Something Awful Forums.
    Less simply there are many, many kinds of Goons out there. Each subforum is practically its own self-contained community, some threads can practically be communities in and of themselves. There are quite literally hundreds of subforums. I claim residence in Games, Laissez's Faire, and a thread in Private Game Servers.
    That said, there are many uniting factors which most, if not all goons share, I'll go into that if there is enough interest.

    A Brief History of Goons and the CN Family of Browser Games



    This is the very abridged version. There is a *lot* to say about what happened in the various spin-offs from the original CNGOONS, but I will limit that for now to the one I was most familiar with: The faction that resided on the moon.
    This faction is very special to me, for it was a faction that I served in government in nearly from the founding of the alliance to its death. While the faction started as a spin-off of the original CNGOONS (the charter was ripped almost word for word, in fact), it quickly developed its own unique culture. If I recall, none of the government had ever had positions in CNGOONS. We had to play the diplomatic game constantly, or risk destruction. The exploits of earthbound CNGOONS put a gigantic target on our heads (in many ways more so than we have now, as the wounds were still very fresh then). We evolved diplomatically to adapt, but we still lost many wars, if only because we could not make up the time gap, as we had come on the scene reasonably late. In the end though, we persevered, and wound up dominating the game.
    Of course, rather than have a GOONS dominated game on their hands, they decided to start a 'round two' of the game and close registration of the first round. Either way, that world is dead and gone, and it ended on a high note (for us anyway), and more importantly it helped develop our diplomatic skills.
    After the lunar escapade was done, we moved on to Galava, which didn't really work out either, for a variety of reasons.
    After all these factions died out, for a time there was nothing.

    CNGOONS2: Electric Boogaloo


    One day, out of the blue I received a message from my friend and sometimes mortal enemy, salithus. (salithus and I have a very long and colorful history, but I'm certainly not going to get into that here). He wanted to get GOONS back in CN. I agreed, I had wanted this for a long time, and had kept my nation up only for the hope of a return. Together (and with the writing help of Lamuella) we made it back. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't surprisingly hard either to get enough support to come back successfully. The lessons we had learned about diplomacy from the moon had served us well. Our government was largely people from the moon GOONS government.
    Our real obstacle to returning came internally. The old CNGOONS government (not all of it, but a few rabid ones) chose to oppose us dramatically, declaring we had "undone all the good they did by disbanding", an argument that still makes no sense to me to this day. But we managed to survive their trolling of our recruitment threads, and got many new people interested in Cybernations, as well as a few returning veterans.
    And then some other stuff happened, and here we are today, nearly a year later.
    Anyway, please make comments suggesting what to cover next. There is a lot of ground to cover. Topics about my involvement with all this, the core differences between us and the original, what exactly happened on the moon, those sorts of things.
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