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Pubbie Tears: Volume 1


Sardonic

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A Ripe Harvest

Throughout this war we have discovered both our own combat abilities, and the difference between our resolve and that of our enemies. This war has been fun in its own right, but the following quotes are the icing on the cake. But enough about that, it's time for some Pubbie Tears®!

Names have been removed to protect the pathetic.

Subject: RE: Surrender terms

Message: I will accept all conditions accept becoming POW. I cannot honorably do so. I will agree to all other conditions and to leave <removed>. I have nothing to gain from this war, I do not wish to continue hostilities but I would rather fight to the death that accept POW status. I give you my word I will not help them, I am not even politically active in the organization, I haven't spoken to a member of <removed> for months. They have protected me from rouge attacks and my soldiers have died in battle for them in compensation. I have no resources or reason to continue to assist them in their war, I do not even know the causes or purpose of this conflict. You have my word on all I stated above, I am willing to negotiate a peace with these terms, I await your response.

Subject: RE: Surrender Terms

Message: Did Col.Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain and the 20th Maine surrender during the Battle for Little Round Top on the second day of Gettysburg, Did General Armistead surrender once his men made it to the High Water Mark on the third day?

Subject: Alright READ ME FIRST!

Message: I have gone to DEFCON 5 because I see I cannot fight you. I will be able to collect 3million for you shortly and will send 50 tech along with soldiers. I hope this will count as a surrender. Please do not attack and offer peace once you recieve it. I will not attack after re-set. I repeat, please do not attack. I surrender as I see I cannot win. Consider my payment to you an apology.

Humbled by your incredible firepower, <removed>.

Subject: take that

Message: just for your insolence, I'm sending ALL of my money and technology to an undisclosed location for the duration of your bordom.

People should learn lessons from WWI and WWII. Sure, I know it's not the same here but WWII was mainly caused by the embarrassment put on Germany by the terms of it's surrender.

Anyhow, I'm not going to accept those terms and for that reason will not be surrendering.

Subject: RE: Defeat Alert

Message: I don't care. You're really boring. You will not get any cake.

Subject: Peace Offer

Message: A peace offer has been submitted by <removed> for the following reason: GOONS shouldve stayed dead

As soon as both nations accept peace the war will end. If either nation attacks one another this peace offer will be automatically canceled.

Subject: are u the leader of that allince

Message: if so i would be greatful if you ask this nation (<removed>) to stop attacking me he is in your allince. im the weakest one in my allince. i offered peace he wont stop. if you would could you tell him to stop. this is a privet message its also a peace offer from me to you. if you dont do anything i under stand.

peace from <removed>

Subject: RE: The Terms of your Surrender

Message: So you think you have won? So you think all is well? Well kiss my green, I shall see you in hell.

Subject: RE: Defeat Alert

Message: I was already destroyered by the goons and now you have taken the little that i ahve left, the goons a powerful warmongering alliance

Message: can u give me a break, i need to build up!!

thanks

And finally, my personal favorite:

Subject: RE: Surrender Terms

Message: I'd love to surrender, but due to the fact that <removed alliance> does not, at this time, recognized GOONS as a legitimate alliance, I cannot.

Contributors:

StupidLikeAFox

Epinephrine

Alonois

Nomnom Cookie

lamuella

ChapterMasterProphet

Momtartin

Hidraca

Booster

Kobax

JamezBfod

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All of my targets have been quite silent this whole war - even the ones who have been vocal to other GOONS attacking them have ignored me. Do I smell? :(

I wasn't going to say anything, but when we chat, I have to put my gas mask on. Take a Shower!

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