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Profiles of great Pubbies: The Director


Sardonic

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Once upon a time a Goon tech raided another nation. The other nation was informed to take up the issue on the 'mercy board', for the raid to stop.

This was the start of something beautiful.

The high war adjudicator, Beefspari, presented these two options:

OPTION #1:

Write a persuasive essay comparing squares to triangles, and explain which one is better. The essay must be at least 200 words and in persuasive format. Meaning, explain subjective reasoning why one is better in an attempt to have the reader agree with your position.

OPTION #2:

Draw a political cartoon in which a boy is reunited with his dog. The dog is also constantly on fire. As a political cartoon, it can only be 1 or 2 panels, and everything must be labeled in a symbolic way. You may draw the cartoon and then scan it, or simply draw it in some sort of art program on your computer (such as MS Paint).

Fulfilling either of these terms would stop the raid (for good).

Little did we know that this particular leader had a creative spark.

He wrote this:

Square or Triangle? It is a question that has plagued our planet for centuries. However, there is a simple answer to this question of superiority: that the triangle clearly dominates.

Simply look at any stable truss bridge. Are the beams configured in the shapes of squares? No. The bridge would be weak if they were. They are configured, in fact, in the shape of a triangle, the perfect shape. What would modern architecture be today without? What even would ancient architecture by like. Look at I.M. Pei’s entrance to Louvre, all triangles. The Great Pyramids of Egypt: triangles. Clearly put, the world as we know it would fall apart if the triangle were taken out of it.

Another argument that even further solidifies the superiority of the triangle is the fact that it can take many different shapes. Equilateral. Isosceles. Scalene. All different, yet all triangles. Right, Obtuse, Acute. Again, all different, but all triangles. Squares may only take one form, completely equal. Such a geometric shape with such importance to our world yet with such flexibility and diversity in size, shape, and angles would clearly be vastly superior.

Overall, while a square may be pleasing to look it, it is neither as useful nor as diverse as the triangle, and therefore, the triangle is clearly superior.

Not only was it sufficient, it succeeded in convincing us of the triangle's ultimate superiority.

Here's to you, The Director, you created what others could not.

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As much as I don't like tech-raiding, I must say, the results of this one were quite inspiring.

As someone whose nation suffers from acute gephyrophilia, I also agree with this line :P

Simply look at any stable truss bridge. Are the beams configured in the shapes of squares? No. The bridge would be weak if they were. They are configured, in fact, in the shape of a triangle, the perfect shape.

I know the engineers behind Uralica's longest truss bridge, the Volga Narrows Bridge, would praise The Director for his correct assessment of the perfect truss beam.

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I still remember the day this was posted. I was incredibly shocked with how well done it was and how convinced I was that triangles are clearly superior to squares.

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If you have to ask, you're a pubbie.

While this is true, I'll answer anyway. Pubbies are the people who either belong to generic, 6-man-style alliances with no affiliations with bigger alliances, or are the ones who simply have NO alliance at all. This, of course, makes them ideal tech raid targets.

Additionally, I remember reading this essay too. I still really want that guy in GOONS rofl.

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While this is true, I'll answer anyway. Pubbies are the people who either belong to generic, 6-man-style alliances with no affiliations with bigger alliances, or are the ones who simply have NO alliance at all. This, of course, makes them ideal tech raid targets.

This gentlegoon is a bit confused, it seems. 'Pubbies' are the 'public' that are not affiliated with SomethingAwful. So, yes, by definition, most of CN is populated by 'pubbies'.

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This gentlegoon is a bit confused, it seems. 'Pubbies' are the 'public' that are not affiliated with SomethingAwful. So, yes, by definition, most of CN is populated by 'pubbies'.

Thank you.

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