Cable77

Maybe. Come on Unpronounced, we're going to New York.

Today I received the following memo from Corporate: [quote][img]http://www.dundermifflinalliance.com/images/small_logo.png[/img] [b]To:[/b] Dunder Mifflin Regional Managers [b]From:[/b] Dunder Mifflin Corporate Headquarters [b]Subject:[/b] FHU merger [b]Date:[/b] 4/6/2010 __________________________________________________________________________________________ Regional managers should prepare their branches for the pending merger with Flying Hellfish United. Due to the current economic climate and to ensure fiscal viability by reduction of redundancies, there will be staffing changes post-merger. It is not financially viable to keep two branches open. A small number will be transferred and the rest will be receiving severance packages. Human Resources will be forwarding those lists by the end of the day. [/quote] Oh, so times get a little tough and suddenly Corporate wants to sell out and turn over the branch to Dethkon? Are you kidding? It is an outrage, that's all. It's... they're making a huge, huge mistake. Let's see Dethkon replace these people. Let's see Dethkon find another Maverick. You think Dynastys grow on trees? Well they don't. There is no Dynasty tree. Do you think the world is crawling with Hoopdys? Show me that farm. With Hoopdys and Pourquois and Jadoos sprouting up all over the place. Ripe for the plucking. Show me that farm. This is my house. Corporate is taking away my house and giving it to Dethkon. And they didn't even ask me if it was ok. And they send me a memo about it? 'Thanks for all your hard work, here's a stupid memo to say you're probably out of a job.' I swear to God, if I am fired I will burn this place to the ground. To the ground. ** paces ** All right, listen up. Some of you may have heard some rumors about the branch closing. But, I am not going to take this lying down. I have a plan and I am going to save our jobs. So just hang in there. I am going to go to New York, confront the CFO, show him he's making a mistake... save the branch.

Thanks for the update and best wishes to you and your family.

Terrible news. I hope his sister is going to be ok.

Wanted: middle-aged black man with sass. Big butt, bigger heart. Qualities needed: [list] [*]Blusy wisdom [*]Sassy remarks [*]Big watery red eyes [*]Must like crossword puzzles [/list] Send applications to: [url="http://www.dundermifflinalliance.com"]Dunder Mifflin, Inc.[/url]

Congratulations on your five years!

Congratulations on finding peace.

[quote name='Blue Lightning' timestamp='1299372768' post='2653911'] Can you give me a short summary of your policies on the following topics: - Surrender terms. - Tech Raiding. - Admissions (whom you accept) - Government style (dictator/democratic/theocracy) - Pro-war or hippy? [/quote] - Never give up, never surrender. Buzz Lightyear. I learned a lot from that movie. - My favorite Laura Croft movie - Dunder Mifflin is an equal opportunity employer. Some people are more equal than others, but everybody has the opportunity to be equal at some point. - I like to think of myself as a friend first and a boss second. And probably an entertainer third. - People don't like hippies because they smell bad and like trees too much. But they forget about the dancing and the cool clothes. Very freeing. But they also don't wear shoes and I could never do that. But, if you're too warlike you end up like Klingons and they make you out to be the bad guy all the time even though all you really wanted to do was drive a starship. So, I think it is important to strike a balance.

People talk all the time about paper tigers, or looking good on paper, or paper cuts. All that paper has to come from somewhere. That's where we come in. Our paper can turn into so many possibilities.

[quote name='Striderwanabe' timestamp='1299209367' post='2651878'] Very disappointing to not see a Party Planning Committee somewhere in there. That being said, good luck to you guys. [/quote] There is! It's part of the Office Administrator's duties. Duties. [quote name='Ackbarican Idol' timestamp='1299211716' post='2651915'] This alliance jumped the shark when Jim and Pam got together[/quote] Sir! I'm not sure I like your implication.

Article II is classified

[center][img]http://dunder.net46.net/flag.jpg[/img][/center] Cable77, Dynasty, Queen Hoopdy the 1st, Pourquoi, IrishRebel, gasgiant405, Maverick0984, Spun Dirtah, and Jadoo1989 are pleased to announce the groundbreaking of a new branch office of the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company, Inc. Located in the northern hemisphere of Planet Bob in the city of Scranton, Dunder Mifflin, Inc. is a micro-cap regional paper and office supply distributor on the aqua team with an emphasis on servicing small-business clients. Dunder Mifflin, Inc. provides its customers quality office and information technology products, furniture, printing values and the expertise required for making informed buying choices. We provide our products and services with a dedication to the highest degree of integrity and quality of customer satisfaction, developing long-term professional relationships with employees that develop pride, creating a stable working environment and company spirit. A career at Dunder Mifflin is exciting, rewarding, and fun. Dunder Mifflin is a name people trust. When you work at Dunder Mifflin, you’re carrying on our fine tradition of customer service and quality products at an affordable price. We look for people that are motivated, dedicated, organized, punctual, and responsible. There are 10 rules of business that you need to learn here at Dunder Mifflin. Number one. You need to play to win… but… you also have to… win to play. Another rule of business is being able to adapt to different situations. Adapt, react, readapt, apt. Alright? That’s rule number two. And… I will give you the rest of the 10 after lunch... Anyway, as you know, there are four kinds of business. Tourism, food service, railroads and sales. And hospitals slash manufacturing. And air travel. Also, we can't overestimate the value of computers. Yes, they are great for playing games and forwarding funny emails, but real business is done on paper. Okay? Write that down. So, have you felt the vibe yet? We work hard, we play hard. Sometimes we play hard when we should be working hard, right? Life moves a little slower in Scranton, and that's the way we like it. Because at Dunder Mifflin, we're not just in the paper business, we're in the people business. I hope this gave you a little taste of what life is like here at Dunder Mifflin. What it’s like to walk in Dynasty’s shoes or try on Hoopdy’s pants. If you think you have what it takes to succeed in the fast paced world of high power paper sales, please contact our Human Resources Department! Forums: [url=http://dunder.forumer.com]dunder.forumer.com[/url] Irc: #dundermifflin (coldfront servers) Wiki: http://cybernations.wikia.com/wiki/Dunder_Mifflin [size=150][u][b]Organization Structure[/b][/u][/size] [b]MANAGEMENT[/b] A Dunder Mifflin branch office is run by a Regional Manager. The Dunder Mifflin Regional Manager directs all operations of the branch office such as approving new hires, promotions to department head, approving sales contracts, approving price wars with other companies, setting corporate policy, maintaining the employee handbook, and providing oversight and input into all branch matters. When a vacancy in the regional manager position occurs, the Assistant to the Regional Manager fills this capacity until the department heads and ARM jointly select a new regional manager. The Regional Manager is assisted in his/her duties by the Assistant to the Regional Manager (ARM). The ARM functions as the "number two" for the office. The ARM is appointed by the Regional Manager with the approval of the department heads. [b]HUMAN RESOURCES[/b] The Human Resources Manager, and staff of Representatives, recruit, interview, background check, and train new employees. HR is also the first stop for attempting to resolve employee conflicts before management gets involved. [b]SALES[/b] The Regional Director in Charge of Sales and Sales Representatives are responsible for maintaining contacts with current and potential customers. All new sales contracts must be approved by the Sales Manager before final approval by the Regional Manager. [b]ACCOUNTING[/b] The Accounting Manager and Accountants manage the company finances and profitability, including Supplier Relations. [b]PRODUCT OVERSIGHT[/b] The Office Administrator oversees Quality Assurance, Customer Relations, and general office workers. Supplier Relations helps coordinate office resources as needed. Customer Relations oversees company marketing materials. [b]SECURITY[/b] A Volunteer Sheriff's Deputy serves as head of security and directs the efforts of the security guards of the branch to ensure branch security and employee safety. Dunder Mifflin. Limitless paper in a paperless world. Oh, and lest I forget, we have our first Sales Contract (treaty): [quote]Preamble RnR needs Paper. Dunder Mifflin, Inc. has paper. Nuff said. Article I: Non-Aggression Of course we're not going to be aggressive towards each other. What benefit would that serve? Article III: Aid We might aid each other financially. We definitely won't aid anyone the other is at war with Article !V: Espionage We're not going to spy on each other, either. Article V: Optional Defense If one of us gets into a fight, the other might help out. Who knows? Probably not best to test it. Article VI: Cancellation Either of us can cancel this treaty for any reason. Signed for RnR EgoFreaky - R&R President LincolnC - R&R Vice President Simms - R&R MoFA Signed for Dunder Mifflin, Inc. Cable77 - Regional Manager Dynasty - Assistant to the Regional Manager Hoopdy - Office Administrator Pourquoi - Human Resources Manager Gasgiant405 - Volunteer Sheriff's Deputy Maverick0984 - Accounting Manager Jadoo1989 - Regional Director in Charge of Sales[/quote] [size=85](OOC note: we have no connection to the defunct alliance with the same name from back in 2008 other than liking the same show)[/size]

Congrats on peace

Glad to see we were able to find peace. Our adversaries were honorable opponent and they have my respect.

At least he didn't say, "that's stupid."

We welcome our good friends in PPO to the fields of combat.

Best of luck, Farkistan.

[center][img]http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/7185/mhab.jpg[/img][/center] "People of Cybernations, your attention please," a voice said, and it was wonderful. Wonderful perfect quadrophonic sound with distortion levels so low as to make a brave man weep. "This is Cable77 of the Mostly Harmless Alliance," the voice continued. "As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system, and regrettably several alliances are scheduled for demolition. The process will not take long. Thank you." The PA died away. Uncomprehending terror settled on the watching people of Planet Bob. The terror moved slowly through the gathered crowds as if they were iron fillings on a sheet of board and a magnet was moving beneath them. Panic sprouted again, desperate fleeing panic, but there was nowhere to flee to. Observing this, the Vogons turned on their PA again. It said: "There's no point in acting all surprised about it. All the declarations on our ally have been on display in your local planning department on the Open World Forum for days, so you've had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it's far too late to start making a fuss about it now." The PA fell silent again and its echo drifted off across the land. The huge ships turned slowly in the sky with easy power. On the underside of each a hatchway opened, an empty black space. By this time somebody somewhere must have manned a radio transmitter, located a wavelength and broadcasted a message back to the Vogon ships, to plead on behalf of the planet. Nobody ever heard what they said, they only heard the reply. The PA slammed back into life again. "The Foreign Division, We Are Perth Army, and Colossus knew what they were getting into when they declared on Sparta. Our treaty with them clearly spells out our obligations in these matters." "Energize the demolition beams."

Good luck, R&R.

[quote name='Arrnea' timestamp='1295349930' post='2581101']Perhaps MHA should roll Polar for implying that they are not interesting enough to be worth spying on? [/quote] Naw, he's right. We're not worth spying on, we're boring and have no good information.

Glad to see peace once again. Congratulations.

Congratulations to Farkistan and their allies.

Congratulations on finding peace.

My heartiest congratulations on behalf of your friends in the Mostly Harmless Alliance! Here's to three more years.

Best of luck to our good friends in Sparta.