Generalissimo’s Observation

[Generalissimo]

Several leading businessmen in Promised Land have offered substantial sums of money if Generalissimo can harness this phenomenon to combat their own aging, and even more money if they can harness any other potential effects to their advantage.

Even Administrator Anderson has expressed an interest in moving to Proctinctia and changing his citizenship upon retiring.

Administrator Anderson is welcome to retire in Proctinctia and enjoy the advantages our unique temporal geography.

While Proctinctia currently lack the infrastructure to support a large influx of anyone. We’re not going to causally hand out citizenships to those living abroad either, it’s a matter of integrity and national pride - . . . wait. . . Did you say substantial sums of money? Substantial sums of money change everything. . .

We in Amerikanisches Reich, the successor to Republic of War, would like to say that yes, we did thoroughly bomb that city to the point of breaking (or manipulating) time. We're just THAT good.

In the final weeks of the Republic-Proctinctia War Saint Paul Island was inundated with significantly more conventional munitions per square foot than anywhere else in the history of warfare, the Republic of War’s military doctrine is best described as ‘no such thing as overkill’, following combat operations the RoW spent two weeks napalming the island followed by a week of carpet bombing with bunker-busters ‘just to be sure’. Whether or not Republic of War bombed Saint Paul city to the point of breaking (or manipulating) time remains unknown, this theory remains untested because no one has duplicated the circumstances.

Taking that hypothesis to its logical conclusion it’s possible the level of nuclear exchange in the last five real time years has somehow effected time progression on this planet, of course that’s idle speculation.

Edited October 26, 2009 by Generalissimo

[Generalissimo]

Bartholomew Hugh Jass, a man who dabbles in this sort of science and just happens to be involved with tourism and immigration in Arctica was present.

"I have also noticed that time moves differently in different jurisdictions. In Arctica, time progresses at the same rate as Transvaal and Procinctia, thus making us a Real Time Nation or something of the sort. Now that Ms. Liska has made a connection between the time variances and the process of aging itself, it is important to say that that phenomenon occurs in our borders too. It is October 23, 2009 in Arctica and it has been October for the past month.

I must observe that countries that experience the 'real time' phenomenon as opposed to other time rates tend to be more stable. For example, Arctica is still rebuilding from its civil war last August, but in that time, in the outside world empires have fallen and risen, millions have been born, lived, and died.

So I present to you Jass' First Observation: Jurisdictions experiencing Procinctian Real Time Phenomenon are more politically stable when compared to jurisdictions experiencing other rates of the passage of time.

And additionally Jass' Second Observation: As a Real Time Nation, Arctica has a slower rate of passage of time and as such is in the top three bracket of longest life expectancies. People in Arctica live longer! You will die faster if you do not live in Arctica."

Generalissimo throws a ribboned platinum medal from the podium towards Bartholomew’s general direction in the of crowd reporters and scientists, not bothering to see whether or not he caught the award Generalissimo continues,

"Mister Bartholomew Jass is hereby awarded Procinctia’s Medal of Science for excellence in the field of cartographic-temporal theory for Jass' Observations, recognizing Bartholomew Jass’s contributions to mankind’s understanding of time.”

I must observe that countries that experience the 'real time' phenomenon as opposed to other time rates tend to be more stable. For example, Arctica is still rebuilding from its civil war last August, but in that time, in the outside world empires have fallen and risen, millions have been born, lived, and died.

So I present to you Jass' First Observation: Jurisdictions experiencing Procinctian Real Time Phenomenon are more politically stable when compared to jurisdictions experiencing other rates of the passage of time.

While real time boundaries are inherently more stable consider this, areas of increased temporal progression develop at a proportionately increased rate. Real time nation’s are not inclined develop space elevators, moon bases, mars colonies, and 1050mm Cannons. In a real time nation’s decade half a millennium of human economic, political, technological, and scientific advancement will have progressed elsewhere. Edited October 26, 2009 by Generalissimo

[Centurius]

While the position has merit a lead scientist in the Imperial Union has voiced a problem with the logic.

"While it is true our Empress has aged from 0 to 16 in a short timeframe for Procinctian time as of 16 she hasn't aged a day. Perhaps somehow certain ages affect the rate too"

[Generalissimo]

While the position has merit a lead scientist in the Imperial Union has voiced a problem with the logic.

"While it is true our Empress has aged from 0 to 16 in a short timeframe for Procinctian time as of 16 she hasn't aged a day. Perhaps somehow certain ages affect the rate too"

Hmmm. . . specific ages you say? I don’t see how, but if anything this would conflict with the current framework of Jass' Second Observation, if anyone’s logic is flawed it’s that Bartholomew Jass and not Geberalissimo.

Although I will acknowledge a disproportionate level of individual’s skipping at an accelerated rate through their childhood strait to teenage and adult years, it’s more of an outlier than anything else, and doesn’t effect the conclusion of Generalissimo’s Observation. I will acknowledge possibility entire populations experience specific stages of life at different rates within the same boundry, but since this phenomenon is not universal across all borders cartographic-temporal relativity still applies. If the Imperial Union’s analysis can be confirmed it would be additional evidence to Kiska’s Observation.

Regarding the empress’ current age it’s important to note she changed national citizenship, therefore time progression after her sixteenth year - combined with growing up outside her own temporal boundary, and the collapse of her country of origin all might account for her relative lack of aging.

Edited October 26, 2009 by Generalissimo

[Sargun II]

Does this mean that the amount of travel time that Artemis CEO Evan Hiley has done makes it possible for him to have aged in four separate timelines?

[Tahsir]

Perhaps Evan Hiley Generates his own time displacement field?

[Sargun II]

Perhaps Evan Hiley Generates his own time displacement field?

Brilliant!

[Generalissimo]

We have revised our theory.

The truth must be that Kiska is in fact the source of the time discrepancies. As you only lost her AFTER she visited the world, and that was when you first started noticing these differences.

It is quite likely this is all a hallucination you are having from losing Kiska.

Generalissimo slams both fist against the podium, "! ! !I didn’t lose Kiska ! ! ! Kiska’s just not here right now, I’m absolutely sure she’ll turn up eventually. . . She’s just not here right now, but she’ll turn up eventually. . . She’s not here right now, she has to turn up eventually.

She’s just hiding or something, they never found the body after all.

Kiska isn’t responsible.

Kiska can’t be responsible unless you believe either

A ) Kiska’s extended absence altered the realities of time

B ) Generalissimo's response to Kiska’s absence altered reality

This cannot be a figment of my imagination unless you really believe Generalissimo’s fantasy’s impact reality.

I might not have not noticed until Kiska’s extended absence, but blaming Kiska’s absence is non sequitur. . . too much supports my observation to brush it off as delusion, too many can now confirm what I have seen for it to be hallucination, that is now being accepted by the scientific community demonstrates something. My realization is proof enough of my sanity, everyone who else who couldn’t see it – they’re the one’s who were crazy, or maybe those who could see it were the only ones truly sane."

Edited October 27, 2009 by Generalissimo

[Subtleknifewielder]

Administrator Anderson is welcome to retire in Proctinctia and enjoy the advantages our unique temporal geography.

While Proctinctia currently lack the infrastructure to support a large influx of anyone. We're not going to causally hand out citizenships to those living abroad either, it's a matter of integrity and national pride - . . . wait. . . Did you say substantial sums of money? Substantial sums of money change everything. . .

"Thank you for the welcome," Anderson stated. "You'll be seeeing me soon enough, I suppose...at least according to your time. All this discussion is making my head hurt."

At that time, half-a-doozen different transactions were noted involving Generalissimo's private bank accounts. Each involved a sum of no less than 300,000 Pounds Sterling, and the largest was a whopping 3 million.

[Sarah Tintagyl]

If Generalissimo would be able to answer a question for Hanseatic scientists.

Lady Tintagyl at 22

Marriage to Larsa Solidor. Aged 25

Snapped at Nova Scotia. Aged 29

During the Nordic War aged 32

It would appear Lady Sarah hasn't aged a day. Could you explain this to us in detail.

Edited October 27, 2009 by Sarah Tintagyl

[Lynneth]

If Generalissimo would be able to answer a question for Hanseatic scientists.

Lady Tintagyl at 22

A photo taken in Nova Scotia aged 27

The Nordic War aged 30

Announcement of the Eurasian Union aged 32

It would appear Lady Sarah hasn't aged a day. Could you explain this to us in detail.

OOC:Linkfail, Sarah. Please retry.

[Sarah Tintagyl]

OOC: Links fixed. Sorry about that.

[Il Terra Di Agea]

The Generalissimo's theory fails to touch on one point: The Curious case of Doctor Komeil whom has seemed to age in a rather strange way.

When he first appeared on the world stage, his age was unknown, but the few pictures of him in existance paint a clear picture:

At this time, he was clearly at least in his fifties, however, now, he seems to be much younger, and healthier, at what he claims is age 33.

Even less than a year later, he looks younger

How could the be possible?

Edited October 27, 2009 by Il Terra Di Agea

[Generalissimo]

The Generalissimo's theory fails to touch on one point: The Curious case of Doctor Komeil whom has seemed to age in a rather strange way.

When he first appeared on the world stage, his age was unknown, but the few pictures of him in existance paint a clear picture:

At this time, he was clearly at least in his fifties, however, now, he seems to be much younger, and healthier, at what he claims is age 33.

Even less than a year later, he looks younger

How could the be possible?

Doctor Komeil’s apparent de-aging with can be easily handwaved. . . er. . . I meant explained by several current non-temporal sciences. Like with advanced corneotherapy techniques consisting of regular vitamin supplements and proper application of skin moisturizers. It’s even possible with various exercise programs and diets; yes, Doctor Komeil eats his veggies and does his pushups in just the right combination so everyone thinks he is de-aging. More exotic explanations could consist of body doubles, photo manipulation, clones, genetic manipulation, skin grafts, human-machine interfacing, and/or massive RNA interference.

A hypothesis involving time and borders could suggest Doctor Komeil is actually aging in reverse, but without further analysis I’m going to say that’s likely ridiculous.

Edited October 27, 2009 by Generalissimo

[Tahsir]

There currently seems to be a problem with Generallissimo's age. While he, at first, appears to have not aged at all, a recent endorsement of his, on a popular video game, has him looking much much older and less smooth faced as we have been lead to believe.

[Subtleknifewielder]

Doctor Komeil's apparent de-aging with can be easily handwaved. . . er. . . I meant explained by several current non-temporal sciences. Like with advanced corneotherapy techniques consisting of regular vitamin supplements and proper application of skin moisturizers. It's even possible with various exercise programs and diets; yes, Doctor Komeil eats his veggies and does his pushups in just the right combination so everyone thinks he is de-aging. More exotic explanations could consist of body doubles, photo manipulation, clones, genetic manipulation, skin grafts, human-machine interfacing, and/or massive RNA interference.

A hypothesis involving time and borders could suggest Doctor Komeil is actually aging in reverse, but without further analysis I'm going to say that's likely ridiculous.

"I put forward this hypothesis," Anderson chimed in. "You said based on a person's citizenship...he or she ages differently. What if a person changes citizenship from a faster-aging nation to a much slower-aging one? Would this cause them to actually regress in age Perhaps this is the case with Komeil."

There currently seems to be a problem with Generallissimo's age. While he, at first, appears to have not aged at all, a recent endorsement of his, on a popular video game, has him looking much much older and less smooth faced as we have been lead to believe.

"Are you sure that's Generalissimo?"

[Tahsir]

"Are you sure that's Generalissimo?"

Beard? Tan? Uniform? Rather looks like him. We assume the lack of Cigar was because there was no smoking on the set, and the addition of sunglasses and a different hat to protect against attacks by Kaiser Martens.

[Subtleknifewielder]

Beard? Tan? Uniform? Rather looks like him. We assume the lack of Cigar was because there was no smoking on the set, and the addition of sunglasses and a different hat to protect against attacks by Kaiser Martens.

"It could be a double, or even just a coincidental look-alike."

[Comrade]

We in Molakia believe this picture of "Generalissimo" is indeed a picture of the Traitor Alexei Romanov, brother of our fallen Tsar.

Alexei was known to play some game named Tropico for hours on end, cackling something about "DAMN MILITARIST!" as he played.

[Generalissimo]

If Generalissimo would be able to answer a question for Hanseatic scientists.

Lady Tintagyl at 22

Marriage to Larsa Solidor. Aged 25

Snapped at Nova Scotia. Aged 29

During the Nordic War aged 32

It would appear Lady Sarah hasn't aged a day. Could you explain this to us in detail.

Generalissimo hadn’t noticed, but it was obvious the Hanseatic scientists were correct, Sarah Tintagyl hadn’t aged a day in what should have been a decade. Generalissimo had known Sarah for less than a year, even with the time difference the implications never occurred to him, Sarah ought to be significantly older than she is. Was there some yet-unknown-variable affecting what should have occurred according to Kiska’s Observation? Sarah’s specific instance could easily be explain by several possible factors, but Generalissimo humored the scientists by glancing through their ‘evidence’; it wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before pictures (although incredibly flattering pictures) of the former lady protector. . . Nothing here that would explain Sarah’s. . . wait if Sarah hadn’t aged a day. . . if not for timey-wimey-ball their could be *one* other possibility, but it couldn’t be that, not Sarah, not unless. . .

Lady Tintagyl was too pure to be tainted by *that*, right? Generalissimo wouldn’t entertain the possibility unless. . . Generalissimo began reviewing the photographs in earnest. There was a slight difference between the image of Sarah at her wedding and that taken during the Nordic War, something so subtle the meaning would be entirely lost on someone who wasn’t looking for it, her eyes were a slightly different pigment – like those of Martens, the eyes of a monster.

Generalissimo visibly paled and began frantically shuffling between the photographs in absolute desperation, he knew the solution to the scientists’ inquiry. With everything revealed today what difference would one more revelation make? With the eyes of the world upon him and the decisive evidence in his hand Generalissimo could finally overcome Martens, with this Kaiser Martens wouldn’t be merely defeated but destroyed once and for all. It could be so easy, but now crushing the enemy would mean crushing Sarah as well - irrevocably shattering an already cracked crystal.

What was a few moments of visible indecision on camera was nearly the hardest decision the otherwise impulsive Generalissimo ever made.

He lied, “It’s not polite to talk about a lady’s age, since we already are I’ll answer your question. While we all agree Miss Tintagyl has aged incredibly well, at least better than this old Generalissimo, the answer is much less complicated than one might expect. Lady Tintagyl is an honorary citizen in many places, including Procinctia, in accordance with Kiska’s Observation she’s aging with temporal progression of her citizenship, the real question is which citizenship?”

Later in the day following the press conference, immediately after receiving Haruhi’s letter, Generalissimo sent the young goddess-emperor all the information, Sarah exluded, he had collected on the subject. Haruhi deserved an answer to her question, and Generalissimo needed at least one other person to know the truth before Martens killed him.

Edited October 29, 2009 by Generalissimo

[Generalissimo]

There currently seems to be a problem with Generallissimo's age. While he, at first, appears to have not aged at all, a recent endorsement of his, on a popular video game, has him looking much much older and less smooth faced as we have been lead to believe.

"Are you sure that's Generalissimo?"

Beard? Tan? Uniform? Rather looks like him. We assume the lack of Cigar was because there was no smoking on the set, and the addition of sunglasses and a different hat to protect against attacks by Kaiser Martens.

"It could be a double, or even just a coincidental look-alike."

We in Molakia believe this picture of "Generalissimo" is indeed a picture of the Traitor Alexei Romanov, brother of our fallen Tsar.

Alexei was known to play some game named Tropico for hours on end, cackling something about "DAMN MILITARIST!" as he played.

"This could easily be the must significant discovery of this century, something fundamentally rewriting humanity’s collective understanding of reality, and you’re talking about video games? What in the name of the Newtonian Mechanics I’m nonchalantly debunking is wrong with you people? For the record I age normally, as previously established time in Procinctia advances at a significantly protracted rate compared to much of the world, I only seem un-aging to those in non-real-time temporal-geography – it’s all covered by Kiska’s observation if you had been paying attention earlier.

Concerning the Dranagg journalist’s alleged ‘evidence,’ that’s the character El Presidente from the Tropico games, a series loosely based on Procinctia’s early history. El Presidente was originally conceived as an expy of the real-world Generalissimo, your confusion is understandable considering I voiced the El Presidente in the first installment. While I’m reprising my role as the voice of El Presidente in Tropico 3, character redesigning incorporates an aesthetic closer to the late Alexei Romanov. While it has nothing to do with my original announcement, please play Tropico 3, the project is easily a quarter of Procinctia’s expected income for the 2009-2011 period.

Oh, by the way, just because Generalissimo occasionally refers to himself in third person is no excuse to talk about me like I'm not there – especially at my own press event."

"I put forward this hypothesis," Anderson chimed in. "You said based on a person's citizenship...he or she ages differently. What if a person changes citizenship from a faster-aging nation to a much slower-aging one? Would this cause them to actually regress in age Perhaps this is the case with Komeil."

“Imposs. . . unless. . . I hadn’t entertained the possibility. . . it’s plausible, if currently untested," Generalissimo throws another ribboned medal from the podium to Anderson, but ends up hitting someone else in the of crowd square in the jaw, not acknowledging the error Generalissimo continues, "Congratulations Mister Anderson, you are hereby awarded Procinctia’s Silver Medal of Science for near-excellence in the field of cartographic-temporal theory for observations significantly less defined than those of Bartholomew Jass, although important enough to receive token recognition.”

Generalissimo steps down from the podium, microphone in hand, “Expect an international scientific conference to further refine the Generalissimo Scale, otherwise that’s all for today.

Remember

Generalissimo’s Observation: Time passes differently in accordance with cartographic boundaries.

Liska’s Observation: Age progression is somehow determined by citizenship

Individuals outside their own political-temporal-boundaries will age at the rate of place of citizenship.”

begins to play over the speakers as Generalissimo makes his exit, covered by a smokescreen from smoke grenades rigged to the podium prior to the conference. Edited November 6, 2009 by Generalissimo