Yawoo Posted April 28, 2011 Report Share Posted April 28, 2011 "Why do you think I've been walking around naked? I mean, sure it's fun, but people have to watch and listen to me.... in all my naked glory." Carmine shuffled some paper around, "Let's see... chamber #3 should contain the genetically modified bigfoot, right?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Enema Posted April 28, 2011 Report Share Posted April 28, 2011 "Oh damn, that Polar Bear meat just isn't sitting well in my stomach," Baraby groans. "Dude, if you are going to puke do it over there," one of the Legionnaires says as he points to the not so distant corner of the lift. "What, I don't want him puking next to me," another one responds irately. "Could we all stop the talk of puking, it is making me queasy," Baraby pleads. "What kind of Squad Leader are you if you get queasy over a little talk of puke?" someone asks. "Look, I'm in charge here and I order you all to stop talking about puking," Baraby insists. The Legionnaires fall silent, they look at each other, and as a group spontaneously erupt into gales of laughter at Baraby's order. The absurdness of a band of convicted criminals taking orders from a walking disaster like Baraby highly amuses each and everyone of them. "What are you laughing about?" Baraby demands. "Nothing much," one of the men responds as the quietly fall into conversation with each other as the lift descends deeply into the bowels of the mountain. "Whaddya in for?" the Legionnaire asks the man next to him. "Rape, murder, rape, murder, rape, and jaywaylking," is the response given. "Jaywalking?" someone asks. "Yeah, I got busted for it right after I stabbed someone to death on the sidewalk," he replies. "Give me a commo check gentlemen," Baraby orders. "Screw you check," a voice responds over the tactical frequency. "Bite me, check," someone else says. "Eat me, check," another person exclaims. "Fondle me gently whilst I slit your throat and violate you in disturbing ways like I did my 18 other victims, check" a voice responds to Baraby's request. "Dude, thats jacked up, check," someone else says. "At least I'm not in for tax evasion, check!" another voice sounds off. "Oh god, I hate tax evaders, check," the last voice responds. This of course causes the seven Legionnaires to fall into a state of conversation best known as a verbal altercation. Witty retorts, caustic insults, a few punches thrown, and finally someone threatening to frag the entire lift gets them all really going. Within moments Baraby is trapped in the corner of the elevator as the serial killing bed wetting rapist of the bunch pins the tax evader on the floor of the lift and screams, "NO ONE LEAVES TILL WE FIND OUT HOW MUCH YOU SKIMPED ON YOUR W-2!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sargun II Posted April 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 28, 2011 (edited) "Not naked in the right sense, Carmine. Not naked in the right sense." He sounded almost like a disappointed father. In many ways, he was. "And damnit, no, that's chamber #6. #3! The scaled experiment!" Hiley looked at the Legionnaires and cried a little on the inside at the fate of humanity. Edited April 28, 2011 by Sargun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yawoo Posted April 28, 2011 Report Share Posted April 28, 2011 "Really? I could have sworn that was #3 - which would mean #6 er #3 is the fire breathing lizards, right?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sargun II Posted April 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 28, 2011 [quote name='Yawoo' timestamp='1303954963' post='2700786'] "Really? I could have sworn that was #3 - which would mean #6 er #3 is the fire breathing lizards, right?" [/quote] "Breathing? Check the windpipe location." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yawoo Posted April 28, 2011 Report Share Posted April 28, 2011 "Fine, maybe one of my scientists was looking at an upside down photo. Maybe the fire comes out of the lizard's ass. This is really besides the point. What we should be discussing is how on earth we were able to fit you-know-who in #2" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sargun II Posted April 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 28, 2011 "Besides the point? Do you know what kind of hilari - " He stopped again and sighed. "Damnit Carmine, why did I ever take the hit off of you. And if you must know, forklifts. Lots of forklifts." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yawoo Posted April 28, 2011 Report Share Posted April 28, 2011 "I did package it in a neon-green bag - maybe you have a weakness for neon-green bags?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sargun II Posted April 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 28, 2011 "I have a weakness for blonde women, $%&@ the colour green!" He grinned and ended the call right there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoot Zoot Posted April 28, 2011 Report Share Posted April 28, 2011 OOC Sorry for OOC But I am laughing my ass off at this thread. Am looking forward to much much more gents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mogar Posted April 28, 2011 Report Share Posted April 28, 2011 (edited) OOC: i was limited on time when i finally got home yesterday, this was nice to come home to lol IC: Emi and Keiko flushed with anger at the insult but both decided better than to open their mouths at this lunatic, doing as he said and then walked away from their "commander", and the gentlement, leaving the marines to check and recheck their rifles, their orders were to protect the girl and didnt really care about accomplishing that task, whispering amongst themselves after the cameras turned away to film the soldiers, continuing to argue and plot Emi whispered "well, if she dies after we do what he says we can just blame him...have you figured out what we're going to have to fight yet?" " before they both thinking silently of how they are going to keep themselves alive fighting whatever the hell they here for, let alone protect someone with no combat training, "how well trained are the men we were sent with?, Keiko asked having left her dossier in the aircraft and spending too much time just watching the "commander" while on the flight to prepare as well as she normally would have, "Two of them are MoG[Snipers], A Sergeant Major and First Sergeant from MoG[Navy], along with 12 Marines without anything interesting in their history, and four weapons/explosive specialists, their histories weren't attached to the dossier however, so I am unsure what they actually did to get that written on their profile." Emi recalled quickly and correctly. OOC: tomorrow we can continue a bit and this weekend i look forward to seeing how great this will get. Edited April 28, 2011 by Mogar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sargun II Posted June 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 The lift wasn't moving, so Hiley smiled and pointed his finger in the air. "Ah, yes, we're waiting for you!" Taking his cane, he rapped it directly on the ass of both Emi and Keiko; in their surprise, he was able to grab both of their shoulders and move their bodies forward onto the lift, where the marines filed on. He slammed the doors shut and locked them, tossing the keys to one of the MoG[Snipers] and stepping back. Moments later, both of the lifts lurched down and started to descend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yawoo Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Virtus International Security Field Office, Donuts Donuts Donuts by Donny, Terror Mountain Observing security cams via tablet: Mark waved half a sprinkled chocolate in the air with with a smug grin on his face. He leaned toward his buddy John Bon Jovi (no not that Bon Jovi - seriously I get that every time I'm sick of it dammit!). "Told you ol' Hiley was a horn dog you owe me five bucks!" "Dammit, there goes my whoring around money" "..." "What? The Eskimos are cheap!" "Did not need to know that dude, not now not ever - just, wear protection or somethin ugh." Mark walked off shaking his head in disgust. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Enema Posted July 13, 2011 Report Share Posted July 13, 2011 Baraby and his squad of doomed Legionnaires stumble out of their elevator. He says to the one behind him, "Form a perimeter!" The one behind him says, "I can't, someone is standing on me." "Oh, well get sorted out a bit, I'm going to stretch my legs," Baraby replies as he begins to run in place to loosen up. "Guvnor, bleedin' 'ell, e's runnin' in one spot 'e is!" one of the Legionnaires mutters from pile of tangled men. "MEN, I have an idea!" Baraby says. "A pint at the pub?" someone asks. "No, I'm going to throw a grenade into the elevator to keep the enemy from using it to sneak up on us," Baraby explains as he unclips a grenade from his belt and begins to prepare to loft it into the elevator. The men inside collectively scream and begin to flee as one large mass of men and weapons that are protruding from every which way. Future researchers will come to know this as the Austreolpitheus Legionnarius. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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