It's a time of upheaval in Digiterra.
New alliances are formed. New blocs join together. Lines appear drawn and erased all at the same time.
Yet, some treaties are destined to last the test of time. Some are written in blood and forged in a mutual beat-down at the hands of an overwhelming oppressor. The bonds forged in those trials have only hardened and grown stronger with time -- chains that have reached from the Clockwork Cities on planets floating alone in the night and raised up to the heavens where mysterious travelers await with soft towels.
Yes my friends, it is a long time coming. You saw it miles away, and undoubtedly there are those amongst you who will mock its strength. Good. Grow more complacent.
I hereby present to you with the following re-write of MHApparatus, replacing the former treaty in its entirety:
[center][color="#0000FF"][size="6"][b]The Mostly Harmless Apparatus Accords[/b][/size][/color]
[size="1"]A Mutual Defense and Optional Aggression Pact
[color="#0000FF"][b]Article I:[/b][/color] [b]This Be Our Land -- We shall call it “Our Land”[/b]
In order to foster the bond that already exists due in part to the overproduction of super glue in an Apparatus factory, both signatories hereby agree to respect the sovereignty of one another. This respect includes refraining from military attacks upon one another, acts of espionage or sabotage, verbal disrespect through any public channel, and the mandatory use of “respec-knuckles” during all future diplomatic encounters.
It is also agreed that both signatories will act in good faith to promptly forward any pertinent information regarding the safety and security of either party. Furthermore, both signatories shall have the option at their discretion, to forward along intelligence of any other nature, should they choose to do so.
Both parties agree to foster a land in which mutual goals and mutual friends can flourish like little trees that large reptiles will later eat for nourishment. Those reptiles will then be launched into space with cyborg implants to take over the universe.
[color="#0000FF"][b]Article II:[/b][/color] [b]Steamed Interplanetary Solidarity[/b]
In order to reaffirm our affinity for well-pressed garments and to increase general camaraderie, both signatories pledge economic, diplomatic, towelrific, and other forms of aid to each other when deemed necessary by the leadership of either alliance. This aid will be placed as a very high priority by both governments.
[color="#0000FF"][b]Article III:[/b][/color] [b]Gatling Guns and Towel Cannons[/b]
Should the Gears of The Apparatus be forced to crank the mechanisms of war in an act of defense, or should the Hitchhikers of the Mostly Harmless Alliance be forced to protect their soft, velvety towels -- both signatories agree that they will immediately, and in concert with each other, engage in hostile activities against the aggressing party upon request.
If either signatory enters into a conflict due to acting upon a third party, the other signatory is not required to enter the conflict on that third party’s behalf, but may do so if they so choose.
[color="#0000FF"][b]Article IV:[/b][/color] [b]Hitch-hikers Welcome on the War-Machine[/b]
Should either fleet of war-machines choose to go to war in an aggressive manner, the other party is welcome to hitch-hike with them into battle. This way, both Destructor fleets and Airships may support each-other in any mission they choose to take on.
Said missions will be coordinated whenever possible and discussed ahead of time, to allow for increased inter-galactic cooperation and preparation.
[color="#0000FF"][b]Article V:[/b][/color] [b]Directive 42[/b]
When both the Director and Patron(ess) and all 3 Triumvirs of the aforementioned alliance agree, Directive 42 may be invoked. For further information about Directive 42, please see <CLASSIFIED, requires clearance LEVEL R17 or higher, which may result in splat>
[color="#0000FF"][b]Article VI:[/b][/color] [b]How Could You Choose Alaska?[/b]
With respect to the competition that nurtured this friendship, it is hereby agreed that this Article shall remain in place as a memento of our beloved, defunct game of Nutsy Bolts.
Remember “The Boston Red Sox”.
Remember that time Julia said that thing? That was great.
Remember when Rand won all the time for no reason? She cheats.
[color="#0000FF"][b]Article VI:[/b][/color] [b]Black Holes and Out of Coal[/b]
If for any extremely unfortunate reason, either signatory should feel that this document no longer reflects the relationship of the two parties, the respective signatory may issue a letter of intent to hitchhike their way home.
When both parties grok each other, this treaty may expire upon completion of a seventy-two (72) hour waiting period.
Signed for The Apparatus:
King Ernie, Director
Elbryan, Chief Engineer
Big Kif, Speaker of the Assembly
Phaedron, Lowly keeper of this storied document
Signed for The Mostly Harmless Alliance:
Julia Rose Vicious, Triumvir
Eff Jay, Triumvir