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About HappyTheHobo

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  1. Seven Drunken Farkers As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be, I saw a bum outside the door where no old bum should be. Well, I called the OWF and I said to them: Will you kindly tell to me Who is that bum outside the door where no old bum should be? Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old Fark, So drunk you can not see. That's just CountryMouse that Fark erected see Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more But a person sure who would vote for CountryMouse I never saw before! And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be, I s
  2. You know that he's for sale, right? For just 100 tech and a keg of Boulevard Wheat you can be the owner of a gently used Cable.
  3. Two words - Ben Farking Affleck. He directed and acted in last year's Best Picture winner, Argo (one of many critically acclaimed films in recent years). Now he's coming back to completely dump all over his progress by becoming Batman, which will surely remind us of his Bennifer days. Based on the uproar over the decision to cast Ben as Bruce Wayne/Batman in the "Man of Steel" sequel, it is obvious that fans are not pleased. In light of the strong negative reaction the announcement garnered, Farkistan has rounded up five Farkers for your consideration to replace Affleck as the new Batman. o
  4. Farkistan is looking totally down to erect for like no reason.
  5. We're always coming up with new and creative ways to force people into serving on the TotalFark council. It's a thankless job filled with hours of arguing, angry drinking, and endless complaints from grouchy Farkers. This month, we present... Farkers and Farkettes, COME ON DOWN! You're the next contestants on The Price is FARK! The gameshow where there are no cash prizes and your only reward is escaping from this hellhole with your sanity in tact! Let's take a look at this month's big losers! Randomly Jim looks surprisingly feminine as he watches the game of cliffhanger in dismay. He l
  6. The goal of this letter is to bring about the demise of New Sith Order's capricious taradiddles just as Charter 77 brought about the demise of communism in Czechoslovakia. Permit me this forum to rant. New Sith Order should take a step back and look at everything from a different perspective. Excuse me; that's not entirely correct. What I meant to say is that New Sith Order's manifestos have an unsavory historical track record. I submit that everyone should stop and mull that assertion. Then, people will understand why New Sith Order has made it known that it fully intends to project a
  7. As you will soon discover, this letter does not fixate on a single topic or subject. To be perfectly frank and honest, it started out rather focused but I soon found, as I worked on my primary hypothesis and sought corroboration from other sources, that I have quite a number of different things to say about Miss Lelula Clown Sweater. Read on, gentle reader, and hear what I have to say. On a television program last night I heard one of this country's top scientists conclude that, "It's incumbent upon us all, as thinking machines and social beings, to think very hard about how Lelula's s
  8. I am writing on behalf of myself and a few of my friends to state that TotalFark Council's use of ignominious cheeky-types is pathetic. Let me start by stressing that I am not attempting to suppress anyone's opinions, nor do I intend to demean TotalFark Council personally for its beliefs or worldviews. But I do claim that I must resolve a number of lingering problems. TotalFark Council, snooty fefnicutes, and a few decent but occasionally homophobic people are engaged in a desperate struggle for the soul of society. The sooner it comes to grips with that reality, the better for all of us. I
  9. You're more right there than you think! Our [url=http://www.farkistan.org/index.php?board=6755.0]homebrew board[/url] just got started today.
  10. An Official Farkistani Erection Announcement sing-a-long music! ♪ Da-Doo ♪ I was walking in the whole-sale beer district one day... ♪ Shoe-Da-Doo ♪ And I passed by this place with this old Bavarian man ♪ Nein! Da-Doo ♪ He sometimes sells me wierd and exotic brews ♪ Glug-Da-Doo ♪ And because he knows, you see, well that drinking beer is my hobby ♪ Drinkety-Doo ♪ He didn't have anything unusual that day ♪ Nope-Da-Doo ♪ So I was just, just gonna walk on by ♪ Sucks-For-Yooou ♪ When suddenly, and with our warning, there was this ♪ TOTAL-ECLIPSE-OF-THE-SUN! ♪ It got very da
  11. Thank you fail for the wonderful bounty you have given us!
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