Firestorm

Yes and what happened to that old cow Marie in the end? Off with the 'ead!

Do we really need a reason?

Dude.. War=Cake Come on for being a global Despot you should try a bit harder.

i think I nearly fell out of my bed laughing. great one!

Ladies and Gents of all ages welcome to the greatest/gheyest show on Earth! Have we seriously reduced this game to total utter bollocks? Looking over the forums I see thread after thread of announcements. Announcements.. Announcements.. But no DoWs? Where is a good bloc war when you need it? I've gone at least two weeks without blowing something up and I'm getting a bit annoyed. We are focusing so much time on the politics of this game we forget that the MOB needs to be fed. The MOB is demanding its bread. The MOB wants their entertainment. Much like the Empire of Rome and their gladiators the MOB in CN demands its blood sports. The MOB wants to see the global radiation level triple. The MOB wants to see the screams of outrage all over the OWF. The MOB is chanting out loud for their Global Despots to relieve their boredom. "WE WANT WAR!" "WE WANT WAR!" "WE WANT WAR!" Give us our bread! We mustn't be denied!

What a delightful post.

You know the problem with Global Despots these days is they have no style. They lack that certain element that makes them worthy of giving them any of my attention. Case in point: That Trotskie fellow of the ENNPEEOOO is probably one of the dullest global despots around. The best that fellow has is some lame brain thread about a rip off of Toy R' Us with a crappy looking flag. Share it around a bit and examine the leaders of most major alliances. They are just flat out boring. Say what you want about Moldavi and Electron Sponge, but they weren't dull. If global despotism is truly to be a force to be reckoned with they need to learn to entertain their masses. Look at old Hitler. That bloke could flat out entertain his masses with a chicken in every pot and a slew of smashed windows. Now I'm not saying Hilter was a good person, but he certainly had his despotic flair polished to a high sheen. List of suggestions to Global Despots/Most boring people alive: 1) You aren't Mr. Rogers.. stop fronting.. Be a jerk more. 2) Stir up more trouble in your alliance blocks. It provides entertainment for the rest of the proles. 3) Hold an alliance gets smashed lottery once a month. I'm banking on number three actually being one of the factors that makes this game interesting again. Imagine a lottery that randomly selects some alliance, no matter what the treaty obligations, for being hammered on for seven days straight. The sheer screams of outrage would be delicious.

"Damn it McMasters! You've foiled me for the last time," shouts President Firestorm of Boomtown! "Oh please, your pumped up little pip squeak of a nation couldn't hope to even put a dent in the side of one of my school buses let alone conduct an armed war against us," returns Prime Minister Mulroney in a snide tone of voice. Firestorm quickly organizes his thoughts as he considers his options. He looks around the room as he examines the tense faces of his advisers. Here and there beads of sweat dot the brows of these harassed looking men and women. Not that it matters to him that his staff is looking like they spent the last week having a large man chase them with a baseball bat. Matters of the state come before personal comfort so they could damn well wait to get a meal and some sleep. He decides upon a response, realising that nothing would ever be the same again, and he says, "You leave me with no choice Mulroney. I'm going to push the button." "umm.. what button?" "Prepare to meet your fate on the field of battle as my troops deploy the ultimate weapon." "Umm.. what ultimate weapon?" "Have you made your peace with god?" "I'm an atheist?" "Oh you'll burn for that Mulroney," Firestorm shouts as he stabs the large red button on his desk. "Damn it Dad that is against the rules!" "No way kiddo, you know as well as I do that I'm allowed to nuke after getting the nuke reactor card!" "You are cheating," shouts David Mulroney the very agitated son of President Firestorm. "What are you going to do? Complain to your mom," laughs Firestorm as he watches the game board start flashing a radiation warning symbol and emitting a loud annoying air raid noise. "Screw you dad," little 12 year old David shouts as he runs out of the room crying. Firestorm looks over to his Secretary of State and asks, "Do your kids act like this?" "Sir, I tend not to cheat at board games with my children," replies the Secretary of State. "Oh, what should I do now?" "I suggest an emergency inspection of some remote outpost might be in order before your wife catches up with you," chimes his Secretary of Defense. "Gentlemen, I've found that the situation with the spotted pond guppies requires my immediate attention," barks President Firestorm as he nearly runs out the back door of his office for the nearest Presidential helicopter. The Secretary of Defense leans over and says to the Secretary of State and says, "Did anyone tell him that today is maintenance day for the Presidential chopper fleet?" The Secretary of State replies with a laugh, "Ouch!"

Wannabe MOD Alert!

As a developmental suggestion could you consider adding a new facet to the war system? We have tanks, planes, soldiers, ships, spies, and missiles. But we don't have artillery. Artillery, the King of the Battlefield, could be bought much like aircraft and used to affect soldiers and tanks, unless they are under 20 percent and then it starts smashing infrastructure and tech. K? thanks. think about it at least.

God damn I'm depressed today. You know hard it is being the leader of a steadily growing nation? Everyday something pops up and everyday someone is demanding your attention. I haven't gotten a full night of sleep in weeks. This is really cutting into my sex life as well. Myself and Mrs. Firestorm haven't.. err.. you know.. in nearly three months. I haven't the energy any more!!! I can't take vacations.. I can't go bowling.. I can't do anything fun anymore. What is going on in this world that every moment of my day has to be consumed with some idiotic situation? Did my minister of the Interior really have to have me woken up at three in the morning to tell me about a massive freeway collision? I know it is tragic and all but there isn't anything I can do about it at three in the morning. Just last week.. I was trying to get in a round of golf. The ambassador from the Nation of Moravia sliced his ball into the woods and set off a motion sensor that lead to the evacuation of the entire golf course. Who the hell puts motion sensors near a golf course??? Apparently my security team from what I discovered. Even worse I had to spend four hours on the phone with the president of Monravia smoothing things over. Believe me when I say that was not a pleasant experience. Though given the situation that includes an anal probe of his ambassador after the golf ball incident I suppose he was right to be angry. Please people.. Just let me have some sexy time with my wife and a full nights sleep for once ok?? PLLEASSSSEEE??? sobs....

I'm a bit of a crotchety old fart. Well maybe 33 isn't that old, but I have seen a thing or two. I've traveled to different countries, and I've seen somethings I probably would have been better off not seeing. The time I was slumming on Khan Sao Road in Bangkok is a good example of seeing something I probably would be a better person for having not seen it in the first place. I remember it vividly being a hot nasty Thai day. I was sitting out on the porch of my hostel drinking a beer. Right next to me some Brit gets the piss taken out of him by a Thai girl who stabbed him in the face with a fork. I can still see that damn fork sticking out of the side of the Brit's face. Since he essentially was trying to rip the girl off for "services rendered" he probably deserved it. This of course doesn't have much to do with why I like browser games except for the fact I stood up walked inside and went to check on my CN nation. Seemed like a good idea at the time as I sure as hell wasn't going to get involved in the scene out on the back stoop. Here is a short list of why I like browser games: 1) They inspire young people.. What the hell are you yapping about now Firestorm? Well look at it from my crotchety old point of view shall we? When I was young we got our inspiration from 80's metal bands. Look at my generation now and you'll see how that did not end well. Kids these days don't have that many venues that I would call useful for expressing themselves and molding their personalities. Look at the average age of the gamers in CN and you'll see a high percentage of youngin's up on these forums. They are forming alliances, brokering treaties, shooping flags, and fighting wars. Look folks when I was young we used to consider throwing dirt at each other good damn fun. Yall have come a long ways. 2) They provide a mechanism for learning social skills and expressing arguments coherently. I'm sorry but schools these days are probably the worst place to learn social skills. I'm an educator and I know just how worthless the American school system happens to be. They don't provide the focus for developing applicable social skills. As an American it makes me cry when I see the youth of America being turned into a bunch of mindless 'can't we all just get along' spouting zombies. Do I give a damn if young men and women are having arguements? Hell yes! I want them to argue about everything. I want them to feel free to express their thoughts openly. I want them to be willing to challenge their elders with those pesky things called facts, but at the same time I want them to learn to do so intelligently and respectfully. Take a trip over to the boiler room and you'll see that in action. Well most of the time.. it really is a work in progress. 3) Browser games are free. This one is a no brainer for a cheapskate like me. 4) Browser games allow people to play out roles without getting hurt. Look my friends.. We all saw how Saddam ended up so really we don't want to turn ourselves into a regional tyrant who gets his jollies gassing his own people. Using browser games for this sort of megalomania ensures that the leadership of the Continuum won't be collectively rounded up and shot. Though I for some reason get the amusing image of Moo and Dilber plotting to blow up the chemistry lab over a nice hand of pokemon. That's my ten cents.

I'm curious about something. What motivates people to project their insecurities onto others? The answer to this question is pretty obvious. People project their short comings onto others because what else can they do? Facing those weaknesses seems the logical thing to do, but if you ask me it seems like to much hard work. I guess I'm tired of seeing people project their real life short comings onto each other here on planet Bob. For example: short napoleon's syndrome dude: Yeaaaaah dawg you going down now. Random dude: WTF you nuked me? Shawty: Welp it is like this.. not only did I nuke you, I'm gonna do it again tomorrow and some of my alliance mates are gonna hop on the bandwagon with me. Random dude: !#$@#@#$@#$@#$@#$@$@#$#@$@#$ Power is a very dangerous, but also very real thing here on Planet Bob. I've seen way to many people exerting their power as alliance leaders just because they can. I've seen way to many people seemingly taking joy at the idea others are feeling discomfort or anger. While I admit this game isn't designed to make everyone happy all the time I do believe that such abuse of personal power tends to take away from the game for those who are abused and those who are the abusers. By no means do I say we ought to not fight wars. War is what makes Planet Bob an interesting place. War is what makes Planet Bob worth bothering with in the first place. But the next time one of you feels like getting your rocks off on smashing someone just to feel good about yourself take a look in the mirror and ask, "Is it absolutely necessary that I do this or am I just trying to please some personal urge?"