hizzy Posted March 21, 2009 Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 I thank you all for your honest and forthright comments and words of encouragement. I wrote the draft myself and am always positive in the receipt of constructive suggestions. Ah ok, well since you wrote it, then it won't seem trollish (I hope) if I make the following points; Article II - here, I read it as though you are committing to go to war for GDA, whether it be defensive or offensive in nature. This is admirable, but it's certainly not expected (by conventional standards). The point of a protectorate is that you are still in your baby stages, still growing, and not able to fight a war. What's the point of a protectorate that forces you to fight a war? Article III - seems like it's a little too much... ya, they do have the right to know what's going on with you, but that should be by virtue of you telling them, not them opening all the drawers. Sometimes everyone has to say something that they don't want everyone else to hear. Still though, not too far off mark. Article V - isn't this already covered by Article I? Article VI - this one reads as though GDA is not obligated to defend you. Maybe playing around with the wording a little would help. Article VII - you should at least give yourself a grace period. Something like "if GDA wants to cancel they need to provide 5 days notice"... this way at least you have the chance to find a new protector before you're left alone. I hope this helps a little bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Ozujsko Posted March 21, 2009 Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 weird protectorate language, man. it probably would have done you good to read some other protectorate agreements first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aaannndddyyy Posted March 21, 2009 Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 NWO is fail IRL. In-game.. congrats and good luck I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricardo Posted March 21, 2009 Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 Weird treaty, nice flag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergerberger II Posted March 21, 2009 Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 I actually can't see it playing out like that. Ya, there's a lot of wrong in the treaty, but all 3 alliances involved would have to be dumb as bricks for that to actually happen. I don't expect it to, and I still hold GDA in high regards as I always have, and I would not expect them to abandon their protectorate for little reason. However, this treaty seems like it is something of colonisation, like GDA is making NWO into a farm, which, while beneficial to GDA, has little benefit for the NWO. It is something that you might sign after your alliance was rolled... I assume it's just a wording issue, but it definitely needs to be fixed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augustus Autumn Posted March 21, 2009 Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 I thank you all for your honest and forthright comments and words of encouragement. I wrote the draft myself and am always positive in the receipt of constructive suggestions. I was originally not going to post here but, as you've asked for some criticism, I'll happily give it. Apologies in advance for anything that comes across as being overly critical - soemtimes things sound different in my head than they do to others. Article I: The NWO will agree to exclusively engage in technology (tech) deals at the rate of 3 million per 100 with the GDA at all times when requested by GDA and feasible to NWO. The NWO agrees in principle to organize said tech deals upon request to its Secretary of State via GDA forums and/or private messages. The NWO will give the GDA priority in its tech deals. This reads to me as saying that in return for the NWO being available at all times to sell tech to GDA, it is the responsibility of NWO to fulfill the obligation through organization of all the deals. Article II: The NWO agrees to without question or prejudice and at all times support the GDA in any military engagement or sanction against any nation or alliance foreign or domestic. Here, the NWO effectively goes to war as well as excercise any and all political power at the command of GDA without recourse or hesitation. Article III: The NWO agrees to allow full viewing access of its website to its GDA Ambassador which includes all NWO forums, sensitive government briefings and secure IRC communications site. Here, the NWO in effect surrenders any and all sovereignty to GDA as far as privacy of communications. Article IV: The NWO agrees without question or prejudice to follow all reasonable directives and instructions presented from the GDA. These directives shall be submitted to the NWO Secretary of State This is somewhat contradictory to Article II so I'll assume it refers more to internal matters within NWO. Here, the NWO does retain some discretion as to how it operates internally but there's a bit of an incentive to follow these directives with the existence of Article VII. Article V: The GDA agrees to consider the NWO when feasible for its future tech deals Combined with Article I, this seems a bit odd. If NWO is seeking to grow it needs garunteed tech deals for its smaller members and yet GDA is given a real take-it-or-leave-it option here. Combined with the authority of GDA to basically demand tech deals become exclusive immediately, NWO doesn't have much chance to engage in the long-term deals that some other alliances prefer. In effect, NWO can't make any commitments as to its tech deals. Article VI: The GDA agrees to support the NWO diplomatically or militarily (as GDA deems fit) when it is attacked or threatened by larger alliances/nations. NWO will consult with GDA before entering into any treaties and before attempting to resolve any Foreign Affairs issues which may arise. As part of this support, the GDA agrees to allow NWO nations to place in all of its ‘about me’ section “Under Protection of the Global Democratic Alliance” "As it deems fit" is the phrase I locked onto here. The entire article basically allows NWO nations to put something in their bios which, when the time comes, may or may not be true. The bit about notifying GDA of negotiations and the like is redundant since, under Article III, GDA is given full and complete access already. Article VII: The GDA has the right to revoke this protection pact at any time and for any reason. There's not even a cancellation period here. Overall, this is a very one-sided agreement. GDA stands in a position to dictate the behavior, control information flow, access tech dealers and drop a treaty partner while NWO has effectively zero control over its own fate. While I don't mean to imply that GDA would behave in such a manner toward an alliance they are protecting, the option is there for wide-ranging abuse. I think it might be worth sitting down with GDA and having a look-over of this treaty to create something a bit more balanced than what is effectively an agreement which turns NWO into a GDA colony. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kochers Posted March 21, 2009 Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 Oddest protectorate treaty I have read so far. Its hopefully just the wording but its still a bit strange. Maybe a revision is in order? Congrats anyway NWO, hope to see you around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hobbies0310 Posted March 21, 2009 Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 This is one of the most peculiar protectorates I have ever read. Thats why I dont read them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thrash Posted March 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 (edited) This treaty was pushed through quickly as a result of repeat attacks upon NWO, and is completely open to revisions. Should everyone desire the need to nitpick, how about we just look at the tl;dr and pay attention to that. GDA is not out to screw anyone over, nor do we have some master plan in mind. Perhaps if we just came out with "we will do tech deals with NWO, and protect them from attacks" that would have satisfied everyone. That's essentially the plan here, and people who are reading more into it truly have too much time. This is the draft we received and it looked reasonable to us. We are not looking to gain an upper-hand by some unreasonable means. Contrary to popular belief, there's not a hidden plan behind every alliance's actions. Edited March 21, 2009 by Thrash Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poobah Posted March 21, 2009 Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 Should everyone desire the need to nitpick, how about we just look at the tl;dr and pay attention to that. If you don't want people to read the treaty and comment on it then don't post the actual treaty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thrash Posted March 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 If you don't want people to read the treaty and comment on it then don't post the actual treaty. It's not a matter of that, it's a matter of claims of us trying to take an upper-hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poobah Posted March 21, 2009 Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 It's not a matter of that, it's a matter of claims of us trying to take an upper-hand. I don't think anyone is claiming that, but I do think people are stating that the wording of this treaty does technically allow you to have complete control over NWO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thrash Posted March 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 (edited) Our intention is merely to allow NWO to grow, sell tech to us should they have it available, be safe from attacks, and consult us regarding their FA issues. If this reads different to everyone, then I suppose a revision is in order. Nowhere does it say they have to abide by our FA decisions, only to consult us. I suppose the military section could be a bit revised, because we wouldn't require them to assist us should we be under attack. Edited March 22, 2009 by Thrash Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poobah Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 Our intention is merely to allow NPO to grow, sell tech to us should they have it available, be safe from attacks, and consult us regarding their FA issues. If this reads different to everyone, then I suppose a revision is in order. Nowhere does it say they have to abide by our FA decisions, only to consult us. I suppose the military section could be a bit revised, because we wouldn't require them to assist us should we be under attack. Article IV: The NWO agrees without question or prejudice to follow all reasonable directives and instructions presented from the GDA. These directives shall be submitted to the NWO Secretary of State If you say to them "you can't treaty Argent" (I'll use my own alliance), then they can't because that is a directive. But I digress, I know that GDA is not out to screw or control any alliance and that they will be solid protectors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thrash Posted March 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 (edited) Do you honestly think that we are like that? I know that GDA doesn't make very many posts out here. We are a laid back alliance, open to all discussions, and surely not trying to take over alliances and make them do what we want. The most directive we would give is "enjoy yourself in CN". Something that quite a few have forgotten about. Edited March 22, 2009 by Thrash Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randalla Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 I actually found this a more refreshing read than some of the usual "hey, we got these peep's shiz, so back off, mkay?" reads. Those are amusing and entertaining and all, but I'm just sayin'. If GDA and NWO want to reword a few points, why not leave that between GDA and NWO? In the mean time, it appears to me to be made, written and signed in good faith, optimism and enthusiasm, agreed upon by both parties as is. I'm sure GDA didn't twist NWO's arm into signing, as there are many other alliances NWO could have gone to for a protectorate if they objected to the terms. Since, according to an earlier post, they drew the terms up themselves, I'm pretty sure there were no objections, and there's no need to )): GDA for taking in this enthusiastic new group. Friends who are so willing to hide nothing and give all to those they feel a great loyalty and friendship toward are definitely keepers. I say cheers and good luck, GDA and NWO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poobah Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 Do you honestly think that we are like that? But I digress, I know that GDA is not out to screw or control any alliance and that they will be solid protectors. I thought I made it clear that you are NOT like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergerberger II Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 I have nought but respect for GDA, Thrash, you know that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augustus Autumn Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 I gave commentary as requested - at no point has anyone in this thread, to the best that I can tell, made any allegations of actual intent by GDA to cause harm to NWO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crushtania Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 Looks like having an alliance named the New ??? Order is the way to go these days. I'm waiting for the New Solar Order on Yellow, myself Good luck NWO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fireandthepassion Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 Did BoG join this alliance? It only seems a bit fitting. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haven for Peace Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 Posting in here because I love Thrash. Also, congratulations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sickosmurfs Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 (edited) Blank Edited March 22, 2009 by Sickosmurfs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sickosmurfs Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 Thank you everyone for your comments and kind words. I have the highest regard for the integrity of GDA's government; which is why I chose them as our protecting power. We at the NWO look forward to a prosperous relationship with them. Cheers SS Secretary of State, NWO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustLooking Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 NWO you have great protectors, and since the treaty was written by you I will have to say that it's your own fault . But then again, GDA should have proof read it with an outsiders PoV in order to avoid this PR debacle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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