A....Gift?

[Bacharth]

Henrik jumped a little when the phone rang. "Put it on the table and put it on speaker, if it has a function like that." Henrik pressed the talk button and turned the speaker phone on. Immediately, he heard a bunch of people talking.

"It's a party line?" Vince said confusedly.

Henrik laughed and started singing "I'm on a boat." Vince left the room, as he hated that song.

[KaiserMelech Mikhail]

Mikhail received a package containing a war hammer, a cell phone and what he thought was a nearly full bottle of strawberry daiquiri. After giving a glass to his wife's annoying-beyond-all-belief cousin, and watching her not drop dead after two days, he decided to take a swig. However, before he could, the cell phone started ringing. "I better not be charged for this call," he said.

Edited January 16, 2010 by KaiserMelech Mikhail

[Tahsir]

The buzzing ended and a automated voice began.

"Hello--are you unsatisfied with your current long distance carrier?---- If you are please stay on the line."

They had all been caught by the dreaded, phone service marketing attack.

[Markus Wilding]

Markus answered, said "Oh god no." and shot the phone.

[comrade nikonov]

Sarah listened, and as it sounded really boring, simply hung up and tossed the phone aside.

[Lavo]

The booze and rather new pistol were analyzed and then destroyed by the Mossad. The phone was analyzed and then put into a special quarantined location, one of many small, pointless, locations found throughout the RA. When the phone rang, a special operator answered (while the phone was still in it's "box"). After it appeared to be a simple prank call, the operator hung up, and went to more important matters, such as a mountain of stupid, pointless, paperwork. Soon enough, the operator regretted hanging up, as waiting for a some marketer is far more enjoyable then paperwork.

[Mergerberger II]

The package would never make it through customs, and a garbage man had a nice bit of whiskey when he got home.

[loannes]

The phone would never be heard. A drunk Adviser Donegan had attempted to play baseball with it.

[Manetheren]

As the package was routed through customs in Cruachan International Airport, it was stopped by the automatic security for an X-Ray image showing a gun (illegal without proper documenation to import via mail). A bored security worker opened the package, filled out the proper paper work and packaged the cell phone and weapon for destruction.

That night he and his friends enjoyed a bottle of top shelf Tahoan Whiskey (the finest whiskey in the world) at the pub, celebrating the end of the week and the victory of the Cruachan Rovers over the Arizona Cardinals in the NFL playoffs.

[JEDCJT]

The package was inspected by customs officials in Boston. Upon X-raying it, the officials were surprised to find a gun (illegal), booze, and a cell phone. The officials promptly reported it to the FBI who then destroyed the contents, but not before detaining the persons who delivered them. When subsequent interrogations (actually torture, but that is not known to the world) failed to make any results where the mysterious package came from, the persons were shot. And survivors were shot again.

If anyone, miraculously, survived the first two shots, extremely vicious German Shepherd dogs were set upon them, where sadistic guards watched.

[Bacharth]

"No I am in fact not, they get horrible sea coverage."

[Subtleknifewielder]

Abruptly, all the cellphones that were not destroyed, or signal isolated, started ringing. Some with the people they were meant to be with, others in the places they had been tossed, other still in their packages, precision was not a key factor here.

Anyone that had bothered to answer would find themselves on a conference line with everyone else that had picked up. Which could be why alcohol was included, and possibly why the weapon as well.

There was also any annoying buzzing sound. It wasn't interference, it was a buzz being sent into the line. Not loud enough to be a inconvenient, but it was irritating.

The buzzing ended and a automated voice began.

"Hello--are you unsatisfied with your current long distance carrier?---- If you are please stay on the line."

They had all been caught by the dreaded, phone service marketing attack.

"What's this?"

Anthony glared at the phone, then in a fit of pique, opened the window and tossed it. If someone else wanted what it had to offer, fine.

[Tahsir]

Those still listening would hear the voice switch to a (microsoft sam) automated man's voice.

"Eeeeeeaaattttt ssssoooouuuppppppp"

[Jordosaur94]

When Bismark realized what the cellphone was, he cried out, "Ah heck, it's a marketing scheme!", and he hung up and gave the phone to an aide, "It's yours now." Bismark then opened a drawer and pulled out the M1911, he smiled and put it back into the drawer and shut it.