Kaiser Gutenhagen Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 (edited) Hello, If you opened this thread, then you're stupid. You now have cancer. So trying to recruit me is just that much harder, because I automatically consider you retarded. Regardless, I am Kaiser Gutenhagen, unknown by most, and disliked by those who do know me. I am currently under ZI sentence from Nordreich, which is due to be up in a couple days, unless of course they decide to keep it going out of spite or as some sort of cruel German joke. It would be pretty funny, if I wasn't on the receiving end. I have 1,100,000 or so casualties. Which I think is funny, because my nation's is the largest exporter of student doctor test bodies. I wonder if there is any correlation.. I've been playing for about a year and a half, but I haven't really done much, other than getting rolled every few months. Well, while we're here and I have 30 minutes before work, I might as well spit out my shoddy credentials. You see I'm not looking for just any alliance, I'm looking for an alliance that best serves me without me having to give back to it at all. And I'm also looking for one with members who can distinguish my blatant sarcasm. They must also be funny, and be able to entertain me back. We need to have an equal relationship on mutual laughter. And by mutual, I mean you guys do most of the work. Dark Evolution <---- Worst alliance ever Minister of the Interior Minister of Recruitment Imperial Adviser Sounds pretty fancy, eh? You have no idea how much complaining and nagging I had to do to get those positions. It was pathetic Soldier Minister of Recruitment Minister of the Interior Also not too shabby, but what you may not know is that I am blamed for that alliance's disbandment. Menotah Triumvir Yeah, I was leader for a bit. But then I went rogue on it. Octava Orden I was an assortment of random positions in that alliance. One day it was "Hey, you're Minister of Finance" next it was "You're Minister of Defence". Then a future PoPR member went rogue on them and got them to send him 100 surrender tech. I thought that was awesome and... Founded Pissed Off Puerto Rican with him I was El Presidente of Pissed Off Puerto Rican, which consisted of insulting myself, my alliance and wasting peoples' time on the OWF. Then Nordreich rolled us, and that's my current state. Anyway, I'm looking for an alliance that will put me on the fast track to growth, and one that can gain my loyalty and all that mushy stuff. And also one that will let me post my sarcastic, unfunny and annoying humour all over their forums. I'm expecting this topic to remain completely empty from any responses, until Nordreich and allies find it and go "Do not let him join, he's a meanace" or just insult me bluntly. But that's okay, because I'm responding ahead of time to any insults that may be thrown at me: Actually, I don't have nukes. I just have a lot of dead guys. So that response is pretty null and void. And here I go off on a tangent again, so I'm just going to click the submit button now Okay... In 3... 2... 1... EDIT: Just to be clear, I don't just want a "Alliance name and link to forum" response. That's not boss. I want a boss alliance, that will give me long essays about why they're boss. I want to see blood, sweat and desperation in your answers. Further EDIT: Offering me 15M every 10 days until 3999.99 Infra seals the deal Edited December 12, 2009 by Kaiser Gutenhagen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fireblade Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 Ohh hey you can join.... err wait... nevermind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Chosen One Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 (edited) The past is the past. Sometimes we fill our past with many mistakes, or things we thought would be best at the time, but the best part about the past and mistakes is that if your still alive tomorrow you have a chance to take something from it all, a bit of knowledge to help you chose the better path in the future, a path in which can lead to great things if you learn from your past and make the the best decisions in the future. Here's to your future Der, live and learn, screw up in the past, work harder tomorrow to be better than you was yesterday. Best of luck to you Der. Edited December 12, 2009 by The Chosen One Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flying Squirrel Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 lulz, interesting...oh so interesting... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorchin Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 The past is the past. Sometimes we fill our past with many mistakes, or things we thought would be best at the time, but the best part about the past and mistakes is that if your still alive tomorrow you have a chance to take something from it all, a bit of knowledge to help you chose the better path in the future, a path in which can lead to great things if you learn from your past and make the the best decisions in the future.Here's to your future Der, live and learn, screw up in the past, work harder tomorrow to be better than you was yesterday. Best of luck to you Der. You obviously dont know Der Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Maximus Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 I was told to post here. #TKTB http://tktb.co.cc/forum/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaiser Gutenhagen Posted December 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 I was told to post here.#TKTB http://tktb.co.cc/forum/ You failed to entertain me with a long and detailed essay. This post gets a D+ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hippy Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 (edited) Lol Kaiser. Best of luck finding an alliance... you know where I am. Edit: I'ma sue your $@! if this post gives me cancer. Edited December 12, 2009 by Warmongrel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyphon88 Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Well anyone getting Zied by NoR is doing well for themselves. On that basis I will excrete my prostate Cancer onto you lap with our details. .... Oh bugger, it's testicular cancer, I've just lost my prostate for bascially nothing. And you're certainly not having my balls, plenty of people have dibs on them already. Enjoy your search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiquidMercury Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 (edited) Why should an alliance have to prove itself to you? I'd say it's the other way around. That being said you're more then welcome to try applying to TOP, I have a lot of great questions I like to ask people. Edited December 13, 2009 by LiquidMercury Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franz Ferdinand Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 (edited) You failed to entertain me with a long and detailed essay. This post gets a D+ "I would have graded it as a F-, to be honest, you are very lenient in your gradings, Kaiser. Could it be that you have finally settled down?" Edited December 13, 2009 by Franz Ferdinand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigCountry91 Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Arrrggg...I get straight to teh point cause i hate teh essays and i gots to swab ter deck... You should joion FoB we are a bunch of experienced pirates who like war, bloodshed, rum and womenz...We will help you grow bigger and protect you... Pm me if you teh interested Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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