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In a World Devoid of Seriousness


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As common, middle-class families in Cybernations, we face coming tribulations unlike anything we have yet seen. The mortgage crisis is spiraling out of control, with thousands of nations being forclosed. The unstable and unpredictable stock market wonders plummet. Hundreds more are out of a job when their tech trading business is outsourced to other, newer nations. The serious deficit is at an all time high and your leaders don't seem to have answers. It is time for change.

Change to Serious Business.

We, the Corporation of Serious Business, have pledged our nations to the cause of furthering the reach of Serious Business in all of its forms. Everyone in Cybernations is tired of the same old corrupt, name-calling politics that dominate the day. We want to put a stop to it. We want Serious Business.

Forums: http://s1.zetaboards.com/CorpSrsBsns/index/

IRC: #CSB

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The Corporation of Serious Business

Ascending the Corporate Ladder of Success since they put in the Elevator

Foreword

Throughout time, people have come together to form a group. The purpose of these groups is usually to achieve a goal. To reach this goal they must have Serious Business. That is where we come in.

The Corporation of Serious Business (occasionally shortened to CorpSrsBsns or further reduced to CSB) is an organization dedicated to spreading Serious Business around the globe. We are structured like a business, yet unlike a business, we are more serious. Thanks to our efficient Serious Business organization, we can easily extend the reach of Serious Business to others.

Preamble

In an attempt by the founders of this alliance to spread Serious Business, they hereby establish this Charter of the Corporation of Serious Business. In order to ensure the quality of this Serious Business, the founders dedicate the following articles for its continued preservation.

Article I - The Businessmen

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Section A: The Certainly Evil Officer (CSBCEO)

The Certainly Evil Office is the highest position within the Corporation of Serious Business. Its purpose is to serve as the overall manager and chief organizer within the alliance. The CSBCEO may only be appointed by the previous one, or in the case of a 5/7 vote in favor of removal in the Board of Seriousness, picked from the list of able Jack Officers.

Section B: The Jack Officers

The Jack Officers are individuals directly appointed by the CSBCEO in order to serve a specific task. While their jobs and purpose may vary greatly, only a Jack Officer can be picked as the successor to the CSBCEO. In the event of a CSBCEOs absence, a Jack Officer may temporarily be appointed to fulfill the position. One serving as temporary CSBCEO is known as the Black Jack.

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Section C: The Board of Seriousness

The Board of Seriousness is a democratically elected body of seven members. Individually they manage Defense, Diplomacy, Education, Finance, Internal Affairs, Recruitment, and Security (DDEFIRS). Elections for each position will be held every two months.

The Board of Seriousness is the only body that can approve treaties, declare war, or impeach the CSBCEO with a majority vote.

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Section C1: Commander-In-Briefs

The Commander-In-Briefs is the Board member that commands the military of the Corporation of Serious Business. It is their duty to organize military ranks, assignments, and practice.

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Section C2: Diplopath

The Diplopath is the Board member that commands diplomacy in the Corporation of Serious Business. It is their duty to organize diplomat ranks, assignments, and information.

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Section C3: Village Idiot

The Village Idiot is the Board member that commands the education of new members within the Corporation of Serious Business. It is their duty to train new members and show them the ways of Serious Business.

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Section C4: Sleepover Bandit

The Sleepover Bandit is the Board member that commands the finances of the Corporation of Serious Business. It is their duty to organize banks, aid chains, and special financial projects.

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Section C5: Crab Processing Unit

The Crab Processing Unit is the Board member that regulates Internal Affairs of the Corporation of Serious Business. It is their duty to organize regulations, standards, and typical conduct of all members, and also crabs.

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Section C6: Enslaver

The Enslaver is the Board member that commands recruitment in the Corporation of Serious Business. It is their duty to organize recruiters and recruitment drives.

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Section C7: Rent-A-Cop

The Rent-A-Cop is the Board member that controls security in the Corporation of Serious Business. It is their duty to organize inquisitions and manage internal threats. National security lies in your hands!

Article II - Employee Guidelines

Section A: Maintaining Synergy

Maintaining a continual state of synergy in the Corporate World is essential for todays Serious Business world. Workers must realize that the final outcome of the system is greater than the sum of the parts.

Section B: Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

Sexual harassment is the unwelcome attention of a sexual nature. In order to assure the pillars of Serious Business are upheld, all employees must remain civil at all times. Should sexual tension occur between two employees, there are lavatories near all of the major work stations.

Section C: Employment Termination

Should an Employee act unfitting of what is expected and does not follow Serious Business guidelines, he or she can be removed at any time. Remember: A good worker is the key to a good business.

Conclusion

As set forth by the Corporate Charter, the Corporation of Serious Business is an organization dedicated to the preservation of pure Serious Business. Any attempt by an outside party to violate this preservation will be expected to meet us in the courtroom.

tl;dr?:

The Corporation of Serious Business is an aqua alliance dedicated to maintaining close bonds of friendship between its members while allowing them to have fun with the game. Those wishing to join or speak with CSB representatives may visit our forums or our IRC at #CSB on the Coldfront network.

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I find it very generous that Van Isaac Hoo the Third of SanderP Incorporated has scheduled time between business meetings to comment on our small Corporation announcement. Let us hope that this generousity will be continued and that Bad Omen will learn such simple expressions of niceness.

Edit: Increased Seriousity.

Edited by Magnum T. Gundraw
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Oh contraire, irrelevant double meme, it would be a great time to improve the level of seriousness; for is this not the thread in pursuit of Serious Business in a place without activities of such caliber? I would assert that, not only would this thread be an accurate place for such improvements, but that changes of this kind are necessary - nay - essential for the continued preservation of this game. Without modifications such as this, I feel that this thread, and others like it, will suffer the terrible burden that is inferiority to those threads of higher status when compared by their levels of seriousness. I, for one, will not allow my thread to become a haven for inadequacy, as I have so described.

Edited for Continued Professionalism.

Edited by Magnum T. Gundraw
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Hey. Look at this post. Now don't look away. Focus on the letters; on the words. Take them all in as your eyes dart across the screen. Can you feel it? Yes, I do believe you can.

You have just felt the quality of a Magnum post. Don't be afraid now - there'll be many more to come.

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