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Fear Not, Poor Souls


BamaBuc

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[center][img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v359/cchris14/CyberNations/unitedwhite.png[/img][/center]

Dark days, my friends.

For too long the Trout Flag has not flown above these lands. Ages ago, so long ago that the history of those days has long been forgotten and replaced by legend, long before the false idols Tiberius and Lonewolfe competed for temporary dominance, the One True Way of the world was founded. For millennia United White held the world in awe of its wonders (Federal Trade Commissions in particular). But then came the Great Pretender, What's-His-Face (I think it was panic something). In a futile attempt to wrest global dominance from my hand, he declared himself leader of United White. Now, make no mistake, I could easily have retained my throne had I so desired. But I am a generous man. My generosity ranks quite high on the list of my endearing traits (a very long and tiring list, I assure you). I allowed What's-His-Face to lead United White so that he might see how mistaken he was in the belief that the world's holiest alliance had any true master besides me. Now, I am aware that men of less humility and character than I may at times be unwilling to admit their mistakes. So I gave What's-His-Face a chance to save face (see what I did there? Wit is another endearing trait of mine). I declared that I was couping United White. He could then release power without going through the humiliation of giving it up freely. But he had not yet realized his mistake! It was very important to me that my wayward subject learn his lesson, so I again relinquished command to What's-His-Face. But his arrogance was seemingly boundless. Under his leadership, United White fell from its rightful position as overlord of the entire world. More than that, it crumbled entirely. What's-His-Face did not realize his folly until it was too late. United White was no more. But there is yet hope that the world's holy and natural order may yet be restored (indeed, it is inevitable, but inevitability always takes all the suspense out of things, don't you think?). I have returned from my doings in other universes (I am something of a transdimensional being), and I am ready to take command of the world once more, with United White at my side and the holy Trout Flag above my extraordinarily handsome head (I would inform you that handsomeness is one of my endearing traits, but I'm sure you already know that).

Who will join me, and who will perish in vain struggle against my armies? Choose quickly, Planet Steve. The hour of this world's redemption is nigh.

-Bama

EDIT: But of course this is not official without government signatures.

BamaBuc, God Emperor of United White, Last of the Holy Triumvirs, Leader of the Free World and Approximately 97% of the Enslaved One as Well, Savior of Planet Steve, Righteous (Though Never Self-Righteous) Defender of the Lulz, Destroyer of Murder Inc, Hands-Down Most Hated Man in TE, Hands-Down Most Loved Man (Or Woman) in TE, Guardian of the Sacred Trout Flag, 12-Time Winner of Round's Most Handsome Man Award (and I Didn't Even Play in Some of Those Rounds), Successor to the Throne of Billy Mays (and Willie Mays Too, For That Matter), Grand Field Marshal of the UW Army (as Well as Forest Marshal, Desert Marshal, Snow Marshal, Mountain Marshal, and Marshal of All Other Types of Terrain), elBorrador's Nemesis, Infiltrator Extraordinaire of the Roman Empire (I Still Have a Spy Account on Their Forums From Like 8 Rounds Ago), Planet Steve's Most Eligible Bachelor, Guiding Light in a Dark, Dark World, Global Distributor of Chaos, and All-Around Great Guy
BamaBuc, Regent
BamaBuc, Vice-Regent
BamaBuc, Emperor's Liaison to the High Council
BamaBuc, BamaBuc, and BamaBuc, High Council
BamaBuc, High Council's Liaison to the Ministers
BamaBuc, Prime Minister
BamaBuc, Deputy Prime Minister
BamaBuc, Minister of Ministry Management
BamaBuc, Minister of Foreign Affairs (Position To Be Abolished When We Are the World's Only Alliance)
Vacant, Minister of Defense (Like Anyone Would Dare Attack Us)
BamaBuc, Minister of Aggression
BamaBuc, Minister of Finance
BamaBuc, Minister of Internal Affairs
BamaBuc, Minister of Justice
BamaBuc, Minister of Organizing This List
BamaBuc, Minister of Sports (No, NASCAR is Not a Sport)
BamaBuc, Minister of Having Other Ministers Over to Watch Football on Saturdays (He Has a Large Television in his Residence)
BamaBuc, Minister of Bringing Snacks to Aforementioned Football Gatherings
BamaBuc, Ministers' Liaison to the Council
BamaBuc, BamaBuc, BamaBuc, BamaBuc, BamaBuc, BamaBuc, BamaBuc, Council

Edited by BamaBuc
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i'm loving all these replies. if you can bring UW back, that would be interesting. possbily could bring about a comeback of TE with all the old alliances. GL.

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Ah, tis sad to see how little the old ways of TE are remembered. Fear not... Your ignorance and insanity can and will be cured. Enlightenment shall set you free to follow the guiding light of the Trout Flag.

-Bama

OOC: eyerack, I'd love that. There's too much seriousness and butthurt around here these days. Used to be you'd roll somebody at the end of the round and they'd just laugh and say "well played". Apparently the allure of the ingame flag has caused people to forget to have some fun.

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[quote name='BamaBuc' timestamp='1282087269' post='2420553']
Ah, tis sad to see how little the old ways of TE are remembered. Fear not... Your ignorance and insanity can and will be cured. Enlightenment shall set you free to follow the guiding light of the Trout Flag.

-Bama

OOC: eyerack, I'd love that. There's too much seriousness and butthurt around here these days. Used to be you'd roll somebody at the end of the round and they'd just laugh and say "well played". Apparently the allure of the ingame flag has caused people to forget to have some fun.
[/quote]

Bama! Where ya been? Actually there are alliances and peeps who still play TE that way ;)
Glad to have you back...pm me on day one :P

BG.

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[quote name='Burning Glory' timestamp='1282093338' post='2420740']
Bama! Where ya been? Actually there are alliances and peeps who still play TE that way ;)
Glad to have you back...pm me on day one :P

BG.
[/quote]
Glad to hear it man. If I can ever get my iPod (my only CN-safe Internet access atm) to play nice with the "select other AA" option, I'll stop by y'all's forums or something. XD

-Bama

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