Nils von Leipzig Posted February 28, 2010 Report Share Posted February 28, 2010 (edited) [img]http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll40/Skiyk/Sig.jpg[/img] [size="5"][center]Official Announcements For Reading Of Which Describe Dear Leader Numerous Accompishment[/center][/size] Ladie and Genderman, it are once again me: Park Hwang-Bo's. I has most importants of news for you. North Korea are discovered religion. Buts for this speeches, I require man of most gooderness of speech; Nigel Burnsley. Like most religions, this one was discovered by Kim Jong-Il. One day, once he had finished watching Duffy the Campfire Layer, Bar Whores and 2001 Grace and Modesty (Which was on TLC), he went for a stroll through his glorious capital of P'yongyang. After passing the "Kim Jong-Il kicks butt" monument and the "Kim Jong-Il had intercourse with your mother" statue - displaying the man himself fondling Mother Theresa - he came across a burning garbagecan. But this wasn't a regular burning garbagecan: it talked! Kim Jong-Il thought this must be a sign from himself (Considering he was God). "Food...I need food..." It moaned. So, dutifully, Kim Jong-Il dumped the three course dinner - consisting of minced beef, potatoes, sausages and a Mars Bar - that he had put in his backback into the garbagecan. "Clothes...I need clothes..." So Kim Jong-Il stripped nude and dumped his tracksuit, Paris Hilton designer sunglasses and hairpiece into the garbagecan. "Warmth...I need warmth..." But Kim Jong-Il thought that this was strange, considering fires are pretty warm already. So he walked around the garbagecan to find it was simply a starving man moaning. Disappointed, Kim Jong-Il decided that he needed a real religion, one that everyone can believe in. And so he returned to write The Jongly Kibble. And it begins like this: [b]Jongesis[/b] In the beginning, there was Kim Jong-Il. And Kim Jong-Il said, let there be Kim Jong-Il, and there was Kim Jong-Il. And the Kim Jong-Il saw that the Kim Jong-Il was good; and Kim Jong-Il separated the Communists from the Capitalists. Kim Jong-Il called the Communists, awesome, and the Capitalists he called swine. And then Kim Jong-Il got tired and rested for the rest of the week. [b]The Ten-ish Jongmandments[/b] [list] [*]Thou shalt have no Kim Jong-Ils before me [*]Thou shalt not take the name of Kim Jong-Il in vain [*]Remember the Jongath Day and keep in Jongly [*]Thou shalt not commit Jongdultery [*]Thou shalt not lie with a Kim Jong-Il the way one lies with a Kim Jong-Il, it is a jongbomination. [*]A woman dropped a stone on Kim Jong-Il's head and cracked Kim Jong-Il's skull. Hurriedly Kim Jong-Il called to his armor-bearer, 'Draw your sword and kill me, so that they can't say a woman killed me.' So his servant ran Kim Jong-Il through, and Kim Jong-Il died. [/list] [b]Famous Kimuotes[/b] "Ask not what Kim Jong-Il can do for you, but what you can do for Kim Jong-Il" "What came first; the Kim Jong-Il or the Kim Jong-Il?" "If a Kim Jong-Il falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it makes a Kim Jong-Il?" "Anger and intolerance are the [s]enemies[/s] friends of correct understanding." "Always sign treaties, all the time, even if they're complete idiots, like The Immortals" In accordance with our faith, we are signing a MDoAP with The Immortals. You all know what one looks like, and we're signing it. So just pretend there's fancy stuff and clauses and words. May the holy father, Kim Jong-Il be with you all. Next on the agenda, is to announce that NNK has now grown to a monumental size. Because of this, we've decided to adopt a "Government". And here it is: [b]Nutty North Korean Corrupt and Lazy Government:[/b] Dear Leader Chief Buttscratcher (Awesome leader who rocks and is better than Vesta): Kaiser Gutenhagen Dear Leader Chief Nutscratcher (Okay guy who is not leader): Gorchin Dear Leader Official Kiss-$@! (CoS): Furer Dear Leader Dietitian (MoE): Sarikitty Dear Leader Personal Trainer (MoD): Freiherr (Because he's German) Dear Leader Translator (MoFA): Vesta (Though he's useless) Dear Leader Official Piss-On (MoIA): Britwarlord Other Unimportant Losers: Pimpleman - TE Leader (Pffffhahahahahahahaha) Pikachujc - Bureaucrat of Ragin' Parties Wotan - Bureaucrat of Immigration (To keep all those Capitalists clawing at our gates out) Oh, and we also have new forums. www.cn-nnk.co.cc - Be there or be George Bush Edited February 28, 2010 by Nils von Leipzig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pikachujc Posted February 28, 2010 Report Share Posted February 28, 2010 What does this have to do with peace or stuff like that? Or did I miss the other announcement? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Itsuki Koizumi Posted February 28, 2010 Report Share Posted February 28, 2010 hail NNK not really Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believland Posted February 28, 2010 Report Share Posted February 28, 2010 I believe you owe me 50 tech. Post one of these every week for a year and you'll owe me 25 tech! Great idea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinpah Posted February 28, 2010 Report Share Posted February 28, 2010 What is this I don't even Also hello[img]http://forums.cybernations.net/public/style_emoticons/default/wub.gif[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
devil driver Posted February 28, 2010 Report Share Posted February 28, 2010 lol wai-what? NNK o7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Jackson Posted February 28, 2010 Report Share Posted February 28, 2010 North Korea is best Korea! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omniscient1 Posted February 28, 2010 Report Share Posted February 28, 2010 I pretended like I read this. Hail NNK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pingu Posted February 28, 2010 Report Share Posted February 28, 2010 Congratulation on most glorious treaty also government. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Dresden Posted February 28, 2010 Report Share Posted February 28, 2010 You, sir, have no matching nation. iLock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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