Captain Enema Posted February 16, 2010 Report Share Posted February 16, 2010 (edited) Mad Dog Bob Denard examines the flaming supply deport in total astonishment. If reports are accurate a long American gunman was responsible for so much destruction. Even more unbelievable to Mad Dog are the stories of the panicked survivors who tell him that the barechested American has killed several men with his barefists and astonishing reverse roundhouse kick. Mad Dog wanders over to a truck where he finds a radio crackling with static. He picks up the handset and hears, "Where are the prisoners?" "Who the hell are you?" demands a very irate Mad Dog Bob Denard. "Braddock, James Braddock," replies the American. "You just blew up one of my supply bases, you stepped on the wrong person's toes pal," snarls Mad Dog. "I don't step on toes buddy, I step on necks," Braddock gloats over the radio. "Yeah just be sure you don't blow up anymore of my damn supply depots you moron," Bob snaps in exasperation. "I'm coming for you Mad Dog," Braddock taunts. "Ok, well give me five minutes and I'll be out front, we can settle this man to man," replies Bob as he pulls off his shirt and flexes his pectorals. As an afterthought he motions to one of his African Legion troopers for a machete. He hefts the machete and has a quick fantasy about disemboweling the American. "I'm coming for you Mad Dog," Braddock taunts again. "In five minutes right?" asks Bob. "I'm coming for you Mad Dog," Braddock taunts a third time. "I know you said that twice before," replies Bob who is beginning to think he's caught in the middle of a bad 80's action movie. "I'm coming..." Braddock tries to say as Bob rips the radio right out of the truck and hurls it into a still burning building. Bob laughs and turns to one of his men, "Scramble a squadron of OV-10s and another squadron Mi-8s. I want them on station and ready. Use the Mi-8s to ferry up a blocking force of African Legion to the west. We'll use what forces we have to drive this maniac into their hands. He's trapped on one side by a river and the other by some of the nastiest desert around." "Sir," one of his men says. "Yes?" Bob asks. "Braddock is on the line, he has a cell phone, he says to tell you he's coming for you," replies the soldier. "BRADDOCK!" screams Bob as he is half driven out of his mind by the American's insane antics. After a second to catch his breath, Mad Dog clenches his fists, tilts his head back in a pose of primal rage, and screams, for a second time, "BRADDOCK!" [img]http://iconvsicon.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/18470560_w434_h_q80.jpg[/img] Edited February 16, 2010 by Tidy Bowl Man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Tintagyl Posted February 16, 2010 Report Share Posted February 16, 2010 OOC: Of all the...I don't even......hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Enema Posted February 17, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2010 "Sir, the choppers are deploying Awesome Company of 1st Battalion," states Sergeant Deerborne. "Thank you Sergeant," replies Mad Dog as he examines his map. Fighting wars is more about men than it is machines. The battle can be won by the use of machines, but it is men who win wars. The determination to carry out contact with the enemy under extreme situations requires a certain inner fortitude. Without this inner fortitude wars are lost. Bob does not lack this fortitude and he demonstrates it once again as he barks, "Cannon Company will now begin its advance." "Yes sir," replies the Sergeant as he whispers the orders over the radio. Bob says quietly to no in particular, "By Allah's hairy man teats I'll have Braddock's liver for dinner." "Bit of salt with that liver sir?" asks the Sergeant. "No Sergeant, I believe I was exercising the use of a metaphor," replies Bob. "I see sir, I'll just carry on with this then," replies the Sergeant. "You do that Sergeant," replies Bob as he cradles his throbbing head with his palm. He listens to the radio traffic as he stays out of the way of his officers. It is one thing to lead on the field, but another thing to step on their hands when they are trying to lead their own units. Until contact is made with this renegade American Braddock there is nothing for Bob to do but wait. "Sir, reports are coming in now. It seems contact has been made with this Braddock," the Sergeant says. "Yes, have they killed him?" asks Bob. "No sir, it seems he killed nine men with one bullet," replies the Sergeant. "He what?" asks Bob incredulously. "He killed nine men with one bullet sir," replies the Sergeant. "Pull back Cannon Company have them keep the American pinned down and we'll blast him out with some mortar fire," replies Bob. "Yes sir, it'll be hard though sir," replies the Sergeant. "Why?" asks Bob. "The American has help," replies the Sergeant. "Help, who is helping this maniac?" Bob asks. "A man on roller skates with two back up singers," replies the Sergeant. Bob sighs and feels like crying. [img]http://4gifs.com/gallery/d/146537-1/They_see_me_rollin.gif[/img] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Enema Posted February 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 19, 2010 (edited) Bob scans the jungle in front of him. An insect bites his leg but he does not move to swat it away. Movement at this time could be fatal and Bob is an expert at surviving. His FN FAL 7.62x51 rifle is held snugly to his shoulder. His target is in sight and he is ready to fire. He double checks and triple checks his target as he looks for any identifying marks of the African Legion, but only seeing the top of the man's head doesn't help much.He breathes in, lets it half out, aims, squeezes the trigger, and then stops as he realizes he is aiming at one of his own men who has stepped out into the open and revealing himself. Such is the nature of jungle warfare, in which the poor lines of sight often can lead to improperly identifying targets. Bob quietly waits as he believes it won't be much longer before this Braddock and his roller skating sidekicks will be along. Until then he'll quietly bide his time in the heat and stink of the jungle. He'll ignore his pain, he'll ignore his thirst, he'll ignore everything but the overwhelming desire to complete his mission. Bob's ears jerk slightly as he hears a voice singing in the distance, "I was cheated by you, and I think you know when." He scans the jungle carefully and he spots the singer. It isn't Braddock or the rollerskaters, it is someone new this time. An older woman that looks much like Meryl Streep. He blinks, takes a long drink of water, and looks again in total disbelief. As he watches her he says to himself, "I gotta stop drinking so much." [img]http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/05/26/article-1187582-01AB7DA800000578-76_468x296.jpg[/img] Bob continues to watch as Meryl sings: "So I made up my mind, it must come to an end Look at me now, will I ever learn? I don't know how but I suddenly lose control There's a fire within my soul Just one look and I can hear a bell ring One more look and I forget everything" Bob watches in total shock as his men begin to drop their weapons and dance along to the music. He stands up and shout, "Oi! Pick up your weapons and get back to your positions you morons!" They ignore him as Meryl sings: "Mamma mia, here I go again My my, how can I resist you? Mamma mia, does it show again My My, just how much I've missed you? Yes, I've been broken-hearted Blue since the day we parted Why, why did I ever let you go? Mamma mia, now I really know My my, I should not have let you go" Bob grabs a man by his collar and shakes him as he says to him, "Get your rifle and get back to you position you idiot!" Bob is ignored again, but this time Bob isn't taking no for an answer. He places the muzzle of his rifle to the Legionairre's head and says, "You have to the count of five to get back to your position before I pump a slug into your head!" "Sir, just feel music," the soldier responds as he dances. Meryl sings: "Wrong: Right: I was angry and sad when I knew we were through I can't count all the times I have cried over you Look at me now Will I ever learn I don't know how But I suddenly loose control There's a fire within my soul. Just one look and I can hear a bell ring One more look and I forget everything" Bob lowers his rifle as he watches his command of some of the hardest men in the SDF dancing around. In total disbelief he finds his own feet starting to move to the music. His soldiers cheer him on as he leans his rifle against a tree and really starts to get down to the funky beat. Meryl sings: "Mamma mia, here I go again My my, how can I resist you? Mamma mia, does it show again My, my, just how much I've missed you? Yes, I've been brokenhearted Blue since the day we parted Why, why did I ever let you go? Mamma mia, now I really know My my, I should not have let you go" Before long Bob is so busy dancing he doesn't even notice the eighty foot Stay Puff Marshmellow Man that walks by. Bob's a fairly observant guy most of the time. However, for some inexplicable reason his dancing partner, a tree, has all of his attention as he boogies along to Meryl's music. Clearly, the hunt for Braddock has entered an entirely new chapter of insanity. [img]http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/staypuft_marshmallow_man.jpg[/img] Edited February 19, 2010 by Tidy Bowl Man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sargun II Posted February 19, 2010 Report Share Posted February 19, 2010 [quote name='Tidy Bowl Man' date='18 February 2010 - 09:06 PM' timestamp='1266548781' post='2191099'] Before long Bob is so busy dancing he doesn't even notice the eighty foot Stay Puff Marshmellow Man that walks by. Bob's a fair observant guy, but for some reason his dancing partner, a tree, has all of his attention as he boogies along to Meryl's music. Clearly, the hunt for Braddock has entered an entirely new chapter of insanity. [/quote] OOC: [img]http://www.colectiva.tv/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/lkzyz89efm_clap.gif[/img] [i]brilliant[/i] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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