RavingMainyYak

Hush your mouth Matt! It is impossible to use "Guinness drafts" and "too many" in the same sentence. I've enjoyed the Newcastle and the Grolsch (The Grolsh bottles have been recycled a few times with my own home brews). The Leffe looks quite interesting. The Aussie beers add just one more reason why I need to convince Mrs Yak that spending 20 hours in planes and airports is worth it for a antipodal holiday.

He may be tardy, but MCRABT joins his IRON gov brethren in fulfilling Article 10 of the peace treaty. And he reviews one of my favorite European brews, Grolsch. Read on, good citizens of Bob . . .

And we have another tardy offering from IRON.... Shan Revan explains the delay, And now, on to the tasty research results:

It is as if this leader of IRON was reading your mind. Peron presents us with a review of the finest product from the back of that wonderful, magical animal, the baconater. Something like that. Let's read attentively to this contribution to IRON's fulfillment of the famed Article 10: For my review, I chose to do bacon, The first type of bacon I chose was this bacon sandwich: I give it a 10/10 on the heart attack scale. After the first bite I could feel my veins clogging and my heart pumping harder. After about 10 minutes I lost sight in my right eye and my hearing failed. I think I had a stroke, but I was too involved in trying to chew the bacon to notice. Good news? Well there isn't really any.... I wouldn't suggest this to anyone who wants to survive. After spending a good 3 weeks in the hospital, I chose my second type of bacon: After my last run in with bacon, I decided to go healthier and chose a DIET coke. Let me tell you, it was a bad choice. Not only did it make me vomit about a dozen times, I believe my stomach actually fell out and punched me in the face. My third choice of bacon was as follows: Sir Francis Bacon was an English philosopher in the early 1600's. He married Anne Cooke. Bacon served as both the Attorney General and the Lord Chancellor of England. He also played a big part in the scientific revolution. Thank you Peron. I'm not entirely clear, did you cannibalize Sir. Francis Bacon, or have a torrid long term relationship with him, or just a one time "I'm just experimenting" kind of thing?

We have another review from IRON gov for your education and entertainment. While the terms of Article 10 call for a review of beer or bacon, sometimes exceptions are justified. Friffon does not drink and lives in a part of the world where bacon is considered a fungible item, offered in only one style. Admittedly, he could have used that generic smoked porcine backfat in three different recipes and reported on those, but he asked for and was given dispensation to provide another review which many of you may find of some passing interest. I, for one, applaud Friffon's enterprise. And so without further ado, we move one step closer to IRON's completion of their surrender terms. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I know many Farkers were eager for another beer review, but sadly you won’t get any from me as I don’t like beer (in before flamefest ). So instead I could do a review about the delicious bacon, but there’s a problem, we don’t have bacon brands around these parts, just normal delicious bacon. So something else had to be found to be reviewed (for the rejoice of the vegetarian and alcohol avoiders), and as being a computer geek I’ll be reviewing games. These aren’t any kind of games, most of them are indie and you probably never heard of them (if you actually played any then you’ll win a free cookie). So here goes my review (download links included on the freeware games): 1 - Cave Story (Doukutsu Monogatari in japanese) Genre: Platform Ahhh, old school goodness. The pixel art graphics and 8-bit soundtrack will bring back the nostalgia feelings, making the playing experience quite enjoyable. Your character wakes up in the middle of a cave, and when you leave it you’ll enter the Mimiga Village and meet the mimigas, bunny like creatures that have been hiding from… spoilers, etc, play it and find out , the story is interesting though. Multiple weapons to get/trade through the game (they can also level up by grabbing experience triangles dropped by enemies, you lose part of them if you get hit) and one of them is a machine gun, that if it’s fully upgraded it doubles as jetpack. Can’t point out any flaw in this game, it’s very well done. Preview video: Download link: http://www.miraigamer.net/cavestory/downloads_1.php 2 - Bunny Must Die / Chelsea and the 7 devils Genre: Platform (Castlevania style) In this game you control a bunny girl that throws knives and can control time, which makes perfect sense for Japanese game. It’s pretty much like Castlevania, but instead of having a special secondary weapon skill you can control time, and as you find time extensions you will win extra abilities such as reversing/slowing time or even get a healing ability at cost of time energy. The song is catchy but it might end being annoying as there is little diversity on that field. There are 5 different weapons you can pick up (knife, sword, boomerang, ball and chain and homing missiles) but you’ll only be able to carry one at a time, although the first 2 are the most abundant and you’ll be using them most of the time. If you have the patience to finish BMD you will unlock the Chelsea story, which is basically the same whole level with very few changes and using a different weapon/special system. The controls are a little stiff making it harder to do some platform jumping and the special moves. Basically, it’s an interesting game to give a try if you are really bored, like this game genre and want a challenge as this game despite its looks is quite difficult. Playthrough video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6wQxeTH3m8 3 - I Wanna Be The Guy Genre: Platform “In the year 200X, on his 15th Birthday… A child left home… On his dangerous and epic quest to become The Guy!”. Dangerous is an understatement as this is one of the hardest games I’ve actually seen, it also states “The game where everything kills you. Even the moon” and it does… 3 times. You will have to control this gun wielding double jumping kid that dies with one single touch to any hazard, and to make it worse, most of them are traps. Changing difficulty won’t affect the traps, all it does is changing the number of save points, from 1~2 per screen (medium) to none (impossible). It contains 8 bosses that you will have to beat through the game and several references to other games such as Punch-Out, Super Mario, Megaman, Metroid, Street Fighter, Castlevania and a couple more. The beginning of the songs might get burned on your head as you most of the time won’t hear the rest of them as you are too busy dying while trying to do tangent jumps through spikes. The perfect game to masochists. Video preview on impossible mode: Download link: http://kayin.pyoko.org/iwbtg/downloads.php 4 - Touhou Project Genre: Vertical Shmup (Shoot 'em up) Danmaku (Bullet Hell) The most known game of these reviewed, quite popular on the eastern community but not so much in the west. The entire game focus on girls flying around killing fairies and firing bullet barrages at each other… it’s weird but hey, its sole creator (known as ZUN) is know for being a beer lover ( ). Being a bullet hell means it isn’t for everyone, the number of bullets (which can kill you with one single touch) on screen can easily go over the hundreds (and many more during boss fights). It may seem impossible, but your hitbox (your vulnerable area) is only a 5 pixel square, also contains an easy mode that is great to introduce this genre to new players without being too frustrating. This game series presents both an awesome soundtrack (3 of its songs managed to get into 2chan top 300 videogame songs of all time, one of them reaching the 20th place, which is an outstanding feat considering that ZUN made them all alone), amazing bullet patterns and the focus system, which by pressing shift you can see your hitbox, move slower (vital for precision dodging) and having a more focused firepower. All games contain 6 levels and an extra one (Perfect Cherry Blossom actually has 2) that can only be unlocked after you beat those 6 levels without using continues and playing on normal or above difficulty. Also, if you don't continue you are given an option to save the replay, so you can see what you did and learn from your mistakes.For more info about the whole series you can check: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Touhou_Project Preview of PCB's 4th stage on Lunatic difficulty: Demo download link for PCB, includes the first 3 levels: http://www.acid-play.com/download/perfect-cherry-blossom/ 5 - Battleships Forever Genre: Arcade Who doesn’t like spaceships, lasers and explosions? This is an indie game from Sean "th15" Chan that is on works for 2 years and is currently on version 0.90d. You are given 17 ships you can choose from for your missions (availability changes from mission to mission). On those missions you are given some points which you can spend on assigning what ships you want for your fleet (patrol ships cost 1 point, destroyers 2, battleships 3) and try to find out which is the best combo/strategy. Music is meh, skirmish and career missions are well done (you can upload your skirmish score), ships keep getting fine tuned to keep balance and contains a ship building program. The most notable downside is the lack of multiplayer, although it’s planned a sequel that will include it. Until then if you want to fight against your friend’s ships you have to get him send the ship file and place them on the sandbox to fight it out. Despite being an indie game and their graphics looking quite simple, it’s quite CPU/RAM demanding as it takes quite a while to start even on a fast computer and can freeze for a minute if you deploy a massive ship or lag when you have a large fleet in screen. Still the overall I give to this game is: Download link: http://www.wyrdysm.com/games.php As a extra gift for this review to be late, I'll give the link to the 2chan top 300 videogame of all time, in 13 videos, almost 9 hours of musical goodness :3 http://notabibito.blog34.fc2.com/blog-entry-595.html

Now this sounds like a plan! /also from PA -- two hours east of Pittsburgh

Let's take a look back, shall we? IRON fought well, but in the end willingly signed a treaty of surrender. Article 10 was all about honor. Yes, we made it a lighthearted test of honor, but a test is was and is. Honor would suggest those who signed would fulfill the terms of the agreement, in a timely manner, particularly one involving little pain and much pleasure. It took a gentle prod to remind others in IRON's gov of their obligation. Earlier today we heard from Matt Miller. While tardy, his report fulfilled the key requisite of demonstrating he is a man of honor. Now, another member of IRON gov, bay102174 offers this: The matter is not closed and Article 10 was and is not optional. This is not what one expects from a person of honor and personal integrity. I am very disappointed that bay102174 has displayed neither.

As many of you may recall, one of the terms in the treaty ending the hostilities between the Karma alliances and IRON was a requirement that members of IRON gov should share with Bob their knowledge of beer (or bacon). Today, we are pleased to share with you the results of Matt Miller's extensive research into this most delicious of the sciences. And while Article 10 does specify a requirement that only "real" beers be assessed, Matt does offer some legitimate justification for his final offering. But you, the good people of Bob, will be the judge and jury. We thirst for Matt's analysis of the fermented barleycorn. Here are my 5 reviews, I just shared some quick thoughts on some of my favorite beers (mostly from college times). Hot off the presses in Bubbler Nation (after a prolonged hangover) Carlsberg Elephant Beer I had this beer on a day near 100 degrees Fahrenheit when traveling in Europe on break from college and found it to be incredibly refreshing. There’s nothing quite like the Elephant beer on a hot day. I just wish I could find it back home. Boddington’s Pub Ale It’s been done by Finster already, but it’s one of my favorites so I don’t particularly care if he beat me to it. This is one of those beers that really provides a full bodied experience with some nice froth on the top. I actually prefer it to Guinness; it’s just too bad I can only find it locally at one bar where I live. Blue Moon Belgian White I first found this beer when in college and to this day it’s the only one that I’ll allow citrus fruit to get near. I don’t even use a lime in Corona, just a slice of orange in the Blue Moon. It’s lighter than some of the other beers I drink, but can still stand up to a discerning palate. Dinkel Acker This is German beer at its finest. I discovered this during college as well (I’m beginning to see a pattern emerge here) on a night out with some of my teammates, one of whom was from southern Germany. This was his favorite and quickly became one of mine as well. Until then I had no idea what a good German beer tasted like. I must say I found this one nice and crisp, which makes it perfect for consumption in larger quantities than some of the others I enjoy. Amstel Light I think I remember something about no light beers, but this one is such a personal favorite of mine, that I can’t leave it out. I can’t go through this set of reviews without a tribute to the Dutch so here it is. This is so nice and crisp when it’s chilled properly, that it almost makes up for the quite low alcohol content. This is the sort of beer you keep stocked if you plan on having a lot of people over, good enough for a party, not quite good enough to accompany a good steak. It’s at the bottom of my list of 5 for a reason, but still makes the cut as it beats out all other light beers I’ve found.

fluoro? another "business trip" to the homeworld I think. /he's just taking a little break

FinsterBaby, I take responsibility for this grievous error, and apologize for counting you among the many, the tardy, the noncompliants. Your timely review was refreshing and delicious. And the addition of the breakfast ham was a creative turn. If only the majority of your colleagues in IRON government had followed your honorable example. Might I suggest they use this bike mod to scurry to the local adult beverage emporium to stock up, taste, and evaluate. Best wishes, Yak

Well done!

For the best possible reading experience, I recommend clicking the youtube linky and listen to some scintillating sitar while drinking in the wit and wisdom (or lack of same) this treaty represents.

Considering it was written and assembled with the aid of a splash of tonic water and a liter and a half of gin, it would seem logical that reading it drunk would make it all the more enjoyable. /thanks for the kind words from the MiniTru team

Eperor Delta1212 and kaitlin together again for the first time? Who can resist? Congrats to the new Overlord and Overlordess o/ //had to be said

Now this is an review. Back in the day Mickey's was the ML of choice on my campus (although the stoners were partial to Strawberry Hill wine .... ummmmm Strawberry Hill and some nice thai stick... ahhh the good old days ... but I digress) I'm pleased the leadership of IRON realizes this was the single most important article in the peace treaty I look forward to the remaining reviews.

You sir, restore my faith in humanity. I have brewed my own Apfelwein (a mead and hard apple cider blend) that, while stronger than a true beer (at 12% ASP), was effervescent with distinct apple and clover honey notes, and quite refreshing. I lament that I made only five gallons last Fall, a deficiency I plan to correct in the coming harvest season.

Grizz, I'm pleased that you produced such a fine, well-rounded report. It has sparked a most enjoyable thread. I look forward to the evaluations of the other IRON leaders. However, rumors are circulating that your missive may include material borrowed from sources other than your own fertile mind and trained palate. When these allegations were frist brounght to my attention, my initial reaction was this: The doctors say I probably will not require a liver transplant, and I should be up and around again in a few weeks. Meanwhile, I implore you to clarify this matter. Please let all know that you did, in fact, taste for yourself these five beers. Best wishes, Yak

I will be happy to take care of all your zombie survival needs. All you need do is post your credit card number and social security or national ID number, and my good friend, the formal Minister of Works and Housing in Federal Republic of Nigeria, Mssr. Chief Tony Anenih will intend to your needs. He is in position of USD 20M which he intends to invest in Real Estate and factory in your country. He is looking for a reliable person that will help him to invest this money. In exchange, he will send you the entire Zombie Survival library, plus allow you to keep one quarter of the total proceeds of this transaction. But you must maintain in strictest confidence. Kindly update Mssr. Anenih if you can represent his interest or if there is any other lucrative Business in the area related to your field do not delay to keep me posted.

This was a most entertaining war. The IRON nations I fought did so with gusto, skill, and honor. Article 10 is of considerable interest to me as well. For its ironic value, I suggest you include Iron City Beer in your evaluation. It is an old style lager brewed in Pittsburgh, PA. Thanks to the nations of IRON for the most fun I've had in this game in a long time, and good luck in rebuilding.

Yes, our Internal Security forces have all been issued the bacon guns. Snipe your target, then enjoy a good breakfast! As for the beer rationing, unfortunate, but necessary that the citizens make sacrifices so that we on Council are properly hydrated. Giving 4-hour speeches is thirsty work.

Did our guy offer beer and bacon to your invading troops? It may be war, but that's no excuse to neglect good manners. /And no, the "May Day" title centers on our alliance-wide May Day celebration.

Фаркистан: Соединенные и непобедимы o/ o/ o/ o/ o/ Farkistan: United and Invincible o/ o/ o/ o/ o/ Planet Bob is in radioactive turmoil, but despite the troop deployments, shortages of bacon grease, beer rationing (Wait! There's BEER rationing? OMFG, EVERYBODY PANIC) the peaceful people of Farkistan exercised their democratic rights to erect a new .gov. In the glorious worker's paradise of Farkistan, Erections vote for you! These members of the Farkistan Auxiliary Protection and Security (FAPS) corps were on hand to maintain order during the erection. Tensions rose as some nations in the alliance came under attack, but the reassuring presence of the FAPS Corps, armed with their newly issued BAK-47 rifles, allowed the proletariat to say who is up and which candidates just don't stand up. Acts of sabatoge and the occasional power outage resulted in long lines at some erection stations. Citizens were orderly and paid little heed to the far off sounds of dogfighting aircraft, and the scream of incoming missiles. There was joyous rioting in the streets as Farkistan's enemies courteously provided glowing fireworks displays above the major cities of Farkistan. The Great Leader wishes to extend his appreciation to those nations providing the fireworks, thus saving many dongs and ruples that would have been spent lighting up the traditional May Day celebration in a more conventional manner. As an added bonus, the lingering glow has allowed the Farkistan Electric Company to turn off streetlights at night to conserve energy. Thanks IRON! Immediately following the erection, Council met in special session. New Speaker of Council Fluoroalien addressed the people and his fellow Council members, Ackbarican Idol, Spanky22, as well as newcomers Raving MainyYak, and RandomlyJim. Yak and Random were drunk with power and knocked over some bottles in the Council Lounge bar prior to the meeting. The only casualty was a broken bottle of Stoli. A huge thong throng of supporters filled Drew Square to celebrate the erection of a new Pope of Pope Rodger as Farkistan's new Squirrel. His Nuttiness faces the task of keeping Farkistan's friends close and her enemies glowier closer. No May Day celebration would be complete without a mighty display of military peens. And our Great Leader, Submitter Emperor Norton I had the best view of the parade, in this rare image in which he is seen without his harem herd of war zebras. Joyous citizens drank a toast to the Subby, then dashed their bottles of Stoli to the ground in an age old Farkistani custom. Congratulations to the erected leaders of Farkistan: Submitter: Emperor Norton I Squirrel: Pope Rodger TotalFark Council: Fluoroalien Ackbarican Idol Spanky22 Raving MainyYak RandomlyJim Let the festivities continue.

You forgot furries.

The Fools! They don't know the hellish month they are in for... Ahh, congrats to your new Council. And Yes, Nuke squealing like a pig is okay. Sometimes it's better than okay.

Oh my head.... Who knew Bailey's 'n Coke meant Coca-Cola? Our Council is in good hands! Congrats to the victors.