[An Open Apology]

I log in each day because I believe I can still win this game.

Well man keep that dream alive

[An Open Apology]

I have been on the wrong end of direct and indirect recruitment by friends countless times, including a mass-exodus of forum-active members. I've never held it against and actually joke about it with some of them. That's part of being a responsible leader, Terry.

Maybe so but we are all different in many ways thats what makes it worth logging in every day

[An Open Apology]

This made me laugh.

Mass PMing recruitment messages to members of an alliance is bad. Asking your friend if they want to come join you in your alliance is not. Too many people don't seem to understand the difference.

Well it was not just friends that where messaged but thats by the by. Also if you take them when you first leave fine. But messaging them weeks after you have gone i think is different.

But by your reconing then if i joined an alliance made friends with half the membership and then left and after lets say 3 weeks messaged them to join me in my alliance that would be ok? Would you be happy if i did that to your alliance? Just a question.

[CN Graphics Contest]

King Pot Face VIII (post 46)

Really like them man well done they are a sure winner.

If not then my runner up and a close one at that would be silent.

[An Open Apology]

Except every one of those members I "recruited" to CNC was a personal friend of mine that had followed me into Illuminati.

And all of them could attest to it.

I never said they where not but at the time i was not to know that for many of them came before you. Now like i said i could have and should have delt with it a whole lot better but thats life sadly. We can all look back and say should have done that different.

But Xiphosis i thank you for thats the first time you have ever admited thats what happend. Also just cos they are friends does not make it right to do. The guy who sold me out to RoK is a guy i have known in RL for 25 years. Now thats a kick in the nuts game or no game.

[An Open Apology]

Van Hoo

3. Terry Howard threatened to make DoS attacks on our forums.

Never said this as i would not even know where to start. (please forward me the post)

5. Terry Howard resorted to OOC attacks in queries and PMs once his spy was caught and again just last week.

that was almost 3 weeks ago and yes total out of order and should never have siad thing like that even joking about. I am ashamed of what i said and was warned in game for my actions.

Xiphosis our bitterness goes back a long way and should have ended long ago. But i have to say i love the way you always fail to tell the whole reason i acted in the way i did. Openly recruiting members fom an alliance is not the done thing. You did do that and you said to me the reason was they where friends of yours. Yes i got annoyed at that.

Van Hoo you can back me up on this im sure. When Illuminati was given peace a few weeks later i sent messages to ex illuminati members to rejoin us. This was one of the reason for RoK going to war with us again. Now please i know i could have delt with things better back then But Xiphosis you was not the victim you make out. You where in fact the agitator as well.

Im not interested in arguing over little bits but i will not just be walked over and let things go unsaid. I am trying to to make ammends take it or leave it.

[An Open Apology]

I am pretty sure Schat got his punishment and is now doing his own thing. If you wanted him to have a harsher punishment for his crimes you had your chance and that time has now passed. He has just as much right to voice his opinion as anyone else.

On topic I pretty much never agree with perma ZI for anything outside of severe OOC attacks but if there is going to be Perma ZI for IC reasons I believe Terry certainly earned his.

Well for what i did i got what was coming.

Perma ZI i dont agree with for i have seen a few people driven from this game due to it. But whats the point of that? many good mambers and bad ones at that have gone and all you end up with is a game that starts to get boring. You just need to look at the amount of updates and changes to see that. But what will be will be.

[Good Bye]

Laters man.

See you on the flip side

[An Open Apology]

Sometimes, things just take time, and if you give up, you'll never regain what you've lost.

This. And Starfox i have not forgoten the 50 tech you owe me for that free nuke i took from you lol

Emperador del Oeste how could i ever forget you. You was my right hand man and you helped me more then you will ever know.

[A FEAR&TOOL Joint Announcment]

Well done Guys.

Ill always have a soft spot for FEAR

[=WE= have Reformed]

Good luck guys. It was sad to see you almost go to the wall.

[TROY is born!]

Welcome guys.

I would recommend talking to Sparta or MCXA for a protectorate from what i see they are very helpful.

[An Open Apology]

Slayer one of the biggest things i did not agree with you was the Nazi stuff it had nothing to do with game play. If some one wants to think they are better for being white or black it matters little to me for i dont care what others think. BUT that aside you are a good leader and i cant knock you on that.

I take people at face value IC and OOC what ever they want to follow is up to them aslong as they dont force it on me or others on the boards. In game as in RL we need to educate these people not out cast them. IMO.

Anu Drake i never ment to miss you off but like i said i could have listed all day the poeple i insulted. You are a good foe and i have the upmost respect for you and the war we had was very good. A little one sided but never the less it was well planned and one of the best i have seen. Sadly i was on the wrong side but never mind.

You all keep on saying this and that but i ask nothing here. I just feel bad about alot of stuff i did thats all.

[An Open Apology]

Except this individual was given multiple chances and squandered them all. Keep up the good work, A+++, special marks for comparing two instances that aren't even remotely similar.

Van Hoo i was given one chance and yes i blew it. I hold my hands up But we live and learn. Its not the members that stick around that are the threats. It is the ones who re role and you dont know who they are they are the hidden danger or not as the case maybe.

It matters little how alliances come and go as long as you try your best its all we can do.

[An Open Apology]

It's good to own up to your mistakes. Highly doubt you will receive mercy, but at least you have tried to make amends

Its not about Mercy at all. Its about admitting my wrongs thats all. I ask nothing of any one as i have no right too.

Yes i was bad mouthing TBB i have spoken to him on this and said how sorry i was for my childish acts.

Xiphosis what you talk of is very old and missing some vital parts but that aside i could have done better with the situation. You was a very good active member that was a grate loss to the alliance. So yes i was annoyed you left as you was one of the corner stones of the allince.

I have not had a second chance nor have i done an open Apology. My alliance was given the second chance and i my have said sorry to a person or 2 in a thread not of my own.

This is ment and heart felt. Thats down to each of you to take it as you will. BUT time will show.

[An Open Apology]

I'm disappointed you made a lot of the mistakes you did. I thought of you as a good friend once upon a time but not only did you betray my allies, you betrayed that friendship. We had a long history Terry. At least you're sorry, man.

I know i never set out that way and that i am sure you know but power can do 2 things to a guy and for me it took me down the wrong road.

I still think highly of you and you allince.

Stubbs you will find it was GOONS we own 3 million to but war broke out. We paid you the 24 million in full and you know as well as i do that was over a tech raid so em pot kettle black lol

[An Open Apology]

As one who helped plan both the first Illuminati War and then the Illuminati Mop-Up, I must say that I've seen your transgressions, Terry, and I've been disgusted. Mercy for you will never come. For your members perhaps. But never, never for you.

Well thats not aproblem for me for i did say i was not looking for forgivnes. A clean soul is a pure soul and that means much more. But i can and will hold my hands up when i have been wrong and i should have done this months ago.

[An Open Apology]

What keeps me here?

The same thing that members keep coming back for. We have more chance working out the meaning of life lol

[An Open Apology]

I dunno, but I have read it all in queries, forum posts, and PMs before. Once it fails to get the desired effect he'll resort to insults and name calling anyway ...

This is true But not this time i mean them words i posted.

[An Open Apology]

What brought this outpouring of remorse about, just out of curiosity? It seems odd coming now, with your alliance a shambles.

I have spent time away and have been reflecting on life IC and OOC. It has brought me to some enlightenment shall we say. I was turning into a bitter person for many reasons and that’s not the person I am nor I want to be IC and OOC.

[An Open Apology]

Terry, words are words. They mean little in CN. Prove what you are saying through actions, as they speak volumes.

I agree but I can do nothing to prove that I have nothing to fight for and even less fight left in me to fight for it. But that does not mean I am less sorry does it?

[An Open Apology]

That they are, so why are you cluttering the forums?

Just cos they are unforgivable does not mean i can not be sorry for them.

I am sorry for my actions towards you in the past as well regardles of the reasons.

[An Open Apology]

Everyone deserves a little mercy.

My actions are unforgivable.

[An Open Apology]

It seems I have typed and deleted this first line a 100 times or more trying to get the right words across. But I have come to the conclusion that it matters little what I write or how I write it as long as it is heart felt and true.

I know I will get trolled and flamed by many from here on in but that matters little to me any more as I have been insulted IC and OCC that it really does not affect me that way it used too.

I am truly and deeply sorry for my action and comments I have made. I say this not for forgiveness nor reprieve for I know that ill never get this. I say this for its true and heart felt and you can take or leave it I am not here to beg.

For NPO you were one of our closest allies and I betrayed you. What can I say for words can express how sorry I am for what I did. I have paid the price and will continue to do so I am sure. I held our friendship with pride and I alone ruined that and my alliance and members paid for that for which I am truly sorry.

We all say many things we regret some more then others. I have crossed lines that should not have been crossed. I have passed comments that should not have been spoken. I have lost every thing I so dearly wanted to protect. Too many alliances are part of the game but to others they are what makes the game and are much more then alliances. Sad it may seem but that’s the way some of us feel.

I have made comments about so many that I could list name after name on here saying how sorry I am for my actions. Most made in the heat of the moment some out of spit and bitterness. BUT it matters not why they where made but the fact that I made them in the first place. The likes of Van Hoo III, Slayer99, The Big Bad and many more I made public and non public attacks on you for which I am truly sorry.

[A Message of Hope]

Yes Terry do give us links like say this one wiki link. Oh wait that makes it look like you have no idea what you are talking about. So don't use that one. I await you proof that everyone in Polar knew what ES was up to and that most of the alliances that put out a DoS for NPO backed ES when he tried to take the throne of NPO. Come on Terry put your money where you mouth is.

That’s right TBB lets use WIKI one the most unreliable source on the internet due to the fact that any man and his dog can change it. NOW lets not mistake what I was talking about here for I was not talking about the ending of the ES era I was talking more like 6-12 months past by. For TrotskysRevenge stated him self about the time ES tried to UN throne him. It is these actions and such like I was referring too. Not those of the past week or so all be them very interesting.

TBB history has always and will always be written by the victors. You sir assumed and was wrong in doing so.

But I still stand by my statement that you are like a hormonal women.