Generalissimo of Vampire Hunters

[Generalissimo]

In the courtyard outside of Savoonga Municipal School Liska Atka, Procinctia’s acting Minster of Foreign Affairs, called a press conference concerning news coverage and internet videos of Generalissimo battling through small mobs of what appears to be vampires.

“Undoubtedly everyone has seen the videos, I’m here to assure you it’s not true.
Well, it is true, but not what people are saying it is.
Those events transpired in a manner dissimilar from speculation.
Generalissimo and I didn’t battle through twenty vampires, because vampires aren’t real.
Those were Dark Hand terrorists. . .
. . . genetically enhanced Dark Hand terrorists. . .
. . . endowed with enhanced strength and speed. . .
. . . with artificial fans and claws. . .
really, they just look like vampires.
Wooden stakes were merely an improvised weapon employed by Generalissimo.
Terrorists who explode into dust from being staked are results of swamp gases.
If vampires existed, and they don’t, Generalissimo is certainly not a vampire hunter.
Why would Procinctia’s government lie about the existence of vampires?
Any questions concerning the not-vampire-encounter?”

[center][img]http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x251/CyberNationsStuff/Liska.jpg[/img]
Liska Atka, acting Minster of Foreign Affairs[/center]

Edited September 17, 2010 by Generalissimo

[Subtleknifewielder]

OOC: lol, yet more shens from you, eh?

This one of those semi-canon or completely noncanon ones?

[Generalissimo]

"Procinctia is seriously completely serious in this serious statement"

[quote name='Subtleknifewielder' timestamp='1285123973' post='2460541']OOC: lol, yet more shens from you, eh?

This one of those semi-canon or completely noncanon ones?[/quote]Generalissimo of Vampire Hunters is canon in [Generalissimo of Vampire Hunters] continuity

Edited September 22, 2010 by Generalissimo

[Kaiser Martens]

Martens decides to stay away from Procinctia just in case.

[Generalissimo]

As there were no questions (yet) Liska plays a clip from the [i]alleged[/i] vampire video.

Generalissimo is ambushed and surrounded by what appears to be vampires. . .
. . .vampires who claim Generalissimo is surrounded and has no chance to survive. . .
“I’m surrounded? No, [b]I have you surrounded![/b]
There are twenty of you [i]and only one Generalissimo[/i].
[b]By the Law of Conservation of Ninjutsu I can’t lose![/b]
You ignorant vampires have played right into my hands.
The descendants of Doctor Steward, the same Steward who assisted Von Helsing in slaying Dracula, taught me to battle monsters.
I fight in School of Master Asia, Undefeated of the East!
I carry specialized blades that have all been blessed by Pope Hope of the Orange Catholics.
I’m wielding one hundred of those distinctive bayonets, and fifty extra wooden stakes engraved with your names.
I make Helsings look like hat racks and Belmonts seem as beagles.
I am Generalissimo, [b]Generalissimo of Procinctia![/b]
I am Generalissimo, [size="4"][b]Generalissimo of Vampire Hunters![/b][/size]"

Liska pauses the tape, "As you can clearly see nothing in that recording indicates the existence of vampires."

Edited September 22, 2010 by Generalissimo

[Subtleknifewielder]

The tape was passed off by the government of Australia as little more than a joke.

However, certain...private parties took a great DEAL of interest...

One crazy conspiracy theorist smuggled several suitcases of crosses and vials of holy water to Pracinctia.He was determined to find and prove the existence of these nocturnal predators that had taken the place of humans at the top of the food chain...

[The Disco Commandant]

Goth kids and young adults around the country saw the tape on television, and immediately thought it was cool and began to develop a cult of vampire hunters.
However, Scenesters across Puerto Rico, noticing that Goth folks were into something original, immediately began to infiltrate such Vampire Hunter Cults, immediately destroying any coolness and originality it had.