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Channel One Breaking News


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… The official stance of the government is, No, googling Google does not make your head “asplode.”

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Ladies and gentlemen we’ve just received some breaking news from the Fedotovo Air Force Base in Vologda, Vologda Oblast. The Ministry of the Interior and military officials in the Vologda and Arkhangelsk oblasts have confirmed reports that Tsar Justinian was indeed rescued from a Dark Hand base in southern Arkhangelsk, just outside the city of Kotlas. We do know that His Majesty is safe and has been taken to the Air Force base to be treated for a leg wound, so far no details on his overall condition. Members of the Imperial Family have already begun arriving at the Fedotovo AFB, but have not commented on the situation yet.

Sources indicate that a tip-off from an anonymous caller inside the base led to a daring attack by Slavorussian soldiers who successfully infiltrated the base then captured and killed a number of high ranking Dark Hand members. Government and military officials were vague on the details, and did not indicate how exactly the tsar was captured by the terrorist organization, or what their reason for keeping him alive were. They did allude to the fact that the DH may have been using him as a hostage, or holding him for ransom, but so far nothing has been confirmed.

Prime Minister Medvedev commented briefly saying “Our intelligence community and military acted quickly and decisively in a difficult situation. Their actions not only helped us locate and rescue His Majesty, but have dealt a crushing blow to the Dark Hand in Slavorussia. The men who entered that bunker are heroes and we all owe them a debt of gratitude.”

We have contacted the heads of the main intelligence departments and military officals as well as the palace, but so far they have not returned our calls. We will be keeping you updated on this as more information comes along.

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The Royal Family of Molakia is very happy to hear that their fellow Romanov brothers are reunited.
OOC: @newslady: fapfapfapfapfapfap

IC: The Council of Twelve from New Zealand is very happy to hear that Tsar Justinian was found alive.

This is heartening news, to hear of the return of the Tsar.
The President wishes the Tsar a quick recovery from his wound.

The Imperial Family appreciates the kind words from our neighbors and friends from around the world. Hopefully you’ll be glad to know Tsar Justinian is back on his feet, although with the help of crutches.

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We now go live to Ekaterinburg where, Edward Nikitin has the story

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That’s right Peter, I’m in Ekaterinburg, specifically outside the Church of All Saints where many devout patrons are still gathered for the day long remembrance ceremonies, which memorialize the executions of Tsar Nicholas II, his wife Tsarist Alexandra, his children the Grand Duchesses Olga, Tatiana, Maria and Anastasia and Tsarevich Alexei. Also murdered that night were members of the family’s personal staff.

What might surprise you about today’s ceremonies is the appearance of the Tsar in Ekaterinburg today. Surprisingly, only a few days after being rescued from a three month long captivity, His Majesty the Tsar is already up on his feet and performing his ceremonial duties. The Imperial Family arrived in Ekaterinburg yesterday evening for the ceremonies and he was kind enough to give a statement about his condition where he said,

“I‘m very glad to be with my family and among my country folk. It’s really important for me to get back to my normal activities as soon as possible… I do have a little pain in my leg, but I promised the doctors I would keep off it as much as possible.”

The Imperial Family says they plan to visit several sites with historical significance to the Romanov murders and pay homage to their fallen family members. From Channel One news I’m Edward Nikitin reporting live from Ekaterinburg. Back to you Peter.

We‘ll keep you updated on the ceremonies there as the day goes by. It’s a question that’s been on everyone’s mind. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck cold chuck wood? We’ll have the answer after the break…

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