Jump to content

Laserwolf

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    754

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Blog Entries posted by Laserwolf

  1. Laserwolf

    A Sleigh Bells Funny

    By Laserwolf,

    Who can relate?
    Sing to the tune of "Sleigh Bells Ring/Winter Wonderland":
    (Verse 1)
    Sleigh bells ring? It’s tinnitus
    What's that pain? My arthritis.
    We're both growing old - You're grey-haired, I'm bald – Using walkers in the winter once again.
    (Verse 2)
    When we try watching TV:
    "Turn it up! Can't you hear me?"
    We don't like the shows, but that's how it goes, We feel about a century too old.
    (bridge)
    In the kitchen: "What did I come here for?"
    Guess I'll go ahead and make a snack.
    "Have you seen my glasses?" "Shut the fridge door!"
    "If you use my dentures, could you give them back?"
    (Verse 3)
    Early on, we retire,
    Eating prunes by the fire.
    We've had a great life;
    We're husband and wife.
    "Tell me what your name is once again?"
    Copyright 2011 Bill DiGennaro. Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.
    today'sTHOT============================
    I was so tired this morning, I entered my password in the microwave.
    =======================================
  2. Laserwolf
    Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can ACTUALLY accomplish?
    Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:
    ~ Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
    ~ Stop exercising. Waste of time.
    ~ Read less. Makes you think.
    ~ Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
    ~ Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
    ~ Spend more time at work, surfing the web.
    ~ Take a vacation to someplace important, like to see the world's largest ball of twine.
    ~ Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
    ~ Stop bringing lunch from home--eat out more.
    ~ Don't have eight children at once.
    ~ Get in a whole NEW rut!
    ~ Start being superstitious.
    ~ Personal goal: Don't bring back disco.
    ~ Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words.
    ~ Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.
    ~ Spend my summer vacation in cyberspace.
    ~ Create loose ends.
    ~ Get more toys.
    ~ Get further in debt.
    ~ Don't believe politicians.
    ~ Break at least one traffic law.
    ~ Don't drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.
    ~ Don't swim with piranhas or sharks.
    ~ Spread out priorities beyond the ability to keep track of them.
    ~ Wait for opportunity to knock.
    ~ Focus on the faults of others.
    ~ Mope about faults.
    ~ Never make New Year's resolutions again.
    today'sTHOT============================
    Aim low. Reach your goals. Avoid disappointment.
    =======================================
    EDIT: forgot today's THOT
  3. Laserwolf
    First, I would like to say thanks to those whom commented on the DoW video I made for GATO.
    Second, for those who are curious, here are some of the details about the video.

    The video was created in Adobe After Effects CS5.
    The music is a royalty free music file.
    Some of the other effects include effects known as Glow, Light Sweep, & Trapcode Shine to name a couple.
    The animation sequence is based off of a template that I reversed engineered, so to speak, the concepts and design to make the DoW video.
    I do not have an official background in video production; I am self-taught. I am actually a youth minister in RL.
    I have had a few ask about the file and so I thought I would post this in case anyone else was wondering.
  4. Laserwolf
    Well it's been almost an entire year between posts. lol
    RL keeps me running like crazy, so I thought I would share this fun little tidbit to get us all in Holiday Christmas mood.
    Enjoy!
    ========================================
    'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
    How to live in a world that's politically correct?
    His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
    "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
    And labor conditions at the north pole
    Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
    Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
    Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
    And equal employment had made it quite clear
    That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
    So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
    Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!?
    The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
    The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
    And people had started to call for the cops
    When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
    Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
    His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
    And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows:
    Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
    And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
    Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
    So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
    Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
    Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
    Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
    And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
    That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
    Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
    Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
    Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
    Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
    Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
    Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
    Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
    Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
    No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
    Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
    And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
    Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
    For they raised the hackles of those psychological
    Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
    No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
    Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
    Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
    And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
    So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
    He just could not figure out what to do next.
    He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
    But you've got to be careful with that word today.
    His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
    Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
    Something special was needed, a gift that he might
    Give to all without angering the left or the right.
    A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
    Each group of people, every religion;
    Every ethnicity, every hue,
    Everyone, everywhere...even you.
    So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
    "May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
  5. Laserwolf

    How to confuse Santa

    By Laserwolf,

    TEN WAYS TO CONFUSE SANTA CLAUS


    Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
    Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
    Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."
    Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.
    While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.
    While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
    Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
    Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue for personal injury.
    Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
    Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us.

  6. Laserwolf
    today'sFUNNY===========================
    YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING TOO MUCH TV WHEN...
    ~ you've removed the power button from the remote.
    ~ you know the names of the top 10 lawn bowlers.
    - you recite the lines word for word with the actors on TV Land.
    ~ you start recording soap operas so you don't miss any of the plot.
    ~ your kids grow up thinking the only thing you can say is "shh, be quiet!"
    ~ you don't think Bart Simpson is bad, just misunderstood.
    ~ commercials become more important than going to the bathroom.
    ~ you start recognizing extras in movies.
    ~ you continue to watch TV when the cable goes out.
    ~ you enjoy other climates by watching the snow on TV.
    ~ you send fan mail to cartoon characters.
    ~ your monthly cable/satellite bill is larger than your house payment.
    ~ you send fan mail to infomercial stars.
    today'sTHOT============================
    Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.
    =======================================
  7. Laserwolf

    Breaking the tension

    By Laserwolf,

    Ever wonder in your relationships, how 'the fight' started...:
    1. One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
    The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
    When she asked him why, he replied,
    "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
    And that's how the fight started...
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
    2. My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
    I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
    'No,' she answered.
    I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
    She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
    So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
    And that's when the fight started...
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
    3. I took my wife to a restaurant.
    The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
    'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
    He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
    'Nah, she can order for herself.'
    And that's when the fight started...
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
    4. My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
    She asked, 'What's on TV?'
    I said, 'Dust.'
    And then the fight started...
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
    5. My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary..
    She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'
    I bought her a scale.
    And then the fight started...
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    6. My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
    I asked her, 'Do you know him?'
    'Yes,' she sighed,
    'He's my old boyfriend... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
    'My goodness!' I said. 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
    And then the fight started...
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
    7. I rear-ended a car this morning... So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
    You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
    Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
    He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
    So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
    And then the fight started....
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    8. THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER:
    When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
    But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf. Always something more important to me.
    Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
    When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a
    short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a tooth-brush.
    I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'
    The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
    And that's how the fight started................
  8. Laserwolf

    Quote of the Day

    By Laserwolf,

    Once again, I find myself slacking in keeping my blog consistently filled with the useful, random, and meh.
    So to try to correct this, the following is a quote of the day that everyone should enjoy.
    "Man does not live by words alone, in spite of the fact that sometimes he has to eat them." Adlai Stevenson
  9. Laserwolf

    A 'Puter Funny

    By Laserwolf,

    Can't say I'm trying to give a subtle warning.
    today'sFUNNY=============================
    <prepare rim shot>
    What is a computer's first sign of old age?
    Loss of memory
    What does a baby computer call his father?
    Data
    What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard?
    The space bar
    What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
    It slipped a disk
    Why was there a bug in the computer?
    It was looking for a byte to eat
    What is a computer virus?
    A terminal illness
    today'sTHOT============================
    What disease did cured ham actually have?
    =======================================
  10. Laserwolf
    Greetings and welcome to my lakehouse:

    I hope you make yourself at home in the kitchen:

    Also feel free to grab some BBQ:

    Feel free to grab a drink and settle in at the living room:

    Now that we're all comfortable, what would you like to talk about? Feel free to ask questions and I'll the best I can.
    If you can't tell, this is an informal Q&A type conversation but more relaxed around a fire with good food, good drink, and good friends.
  11. Laserwolf
    If you got it, you don't need no definition. And if you don't have it, ain't no definition gonna help.
    -Duke Ellington when asked to define rhythm.
    Vision is critical for effective strategic planning and implementation.
    -George Barna


    In my first post on Leadership about a month ago, I discussed the importance of influence. Today, in my second post, I want to talk practically about two areas of influence: Vision Casting & Goal Setting.
    My Vision or Their Vision / My Goals or Their Goals?
    While somewhat hard to describe, almost everyone that is in leadership knows the importance of vision casting and goal setting. These two attributes often manifest themselves in many ways: political platforms when during an election, applications for a position of leadership, and/or interviews for promotions. Vision casting and goal setting describe what you want to get accomplished, why it needs to be accomplished, and how it will or needs to be accomplished. Let's face it though, your vision is what you think, plan, and hope, yet has it factored in everyone else's thoughts, dreams, and plans. So now you find this dilemma: my dreams, goals, and hopes or giving into everyone else's dreams, goals, and hopes. So what to do?
    It can be frustrating when what you want to do sometimes does not match up with what others want to do. The most important key is listening. Listen to others. Hear what they have to say especially if they are stronger in certain areas than you. I'm going to use myself for an example. When casting my vision and goals for GATO, I pay very close attention to those who are better in the Financial and Military arenas. I'm not the expert in Foreign Affairs or Internal/Domestic Affairs but I tend to have a good grasp on what needs to be done and how to get it done. I never turn down anyone giving input as they may have a perspective on something that I may have missed.
    Our Vision - Our Goals
    After several days of discussion, asking questions, and evaluation, I propose a set of goals to our main leadership based on what I perceive and hear from the members of GATO. I then create a list of goals which are then refined based on input. Once that process reaches approval, I propose it to our General Assembly and work to make the goals not my goals or the Ministers' goals, but Our goals. When everyone works together to set goals and catch the vision, the end result is not mine or yours but ours. When it's Our goals, then as a team, things happen. As a team, goals are met, morale is high, and activity increases (or should). When goals become Our goals, the vision become Our vision.
    SMART Goals



    Setting SMART goals is key to accomplishing as much as possible while in your position of leadership. The above image describes setting SMART goals. Goals need to be specific to the task(s) at hand. Measurable goals are concrete and can be tracked. Attainable goals are reasonable while challenging. Relevant goals mean something for now and later not then and gone. Timed goals have a deadline - what do you want to accomplish? How? Why? When?
    Members from all areas need to know what they are working for and why. If the ambassador doesn't understand why their job of representing their alliance is important then an opportunity for a friendship is lost. If a tech seller doesn't understand why being timely and the purpose of tech then they will fall off the radar. The goals have to be communicated from the top down, kept in front of everyone, and tracked for progress.
    The final key to putting this all in place is summed up in one word: communication. Communication on all levels of leadership is necessary if you are going to effectively cast the visions, create your goals, accomplish them as a team.
    If you have read this far, thank you and again I hope this helps someone out. I'll try not to go a month before posting another topic.
    Til then
    o/
    -Laserwolf
  12. Laserwolf

    Signs you are broke

    By Laserwolf,

    SIGNS YOU ARE BROKE

    American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"
    Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.
    You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
    You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe Lincoln.
    Long distance companies don't call you to switch.
    You look at your roommate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.
    Your rob Peter...and then rob Paul.
    You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.
    You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
    Your bologna has no first name.
    McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.
    At communion you go back for seconds.
    today'sTHOT============================
    How come it takes more brains and effort to fill out the income-tax form than it does to earn the income?
    =======================================
  13. Laserwolf
    So I'm starting to really scan through some of the blogs out here and pondering what my next post(s) should be. So over the next few days, I'm going to be posting a bit about leadership: its characteristics, types, process of decision making, etc.
    So to start with I'd like to just pose a question:
    What is the definition of leadership?
  14. Laserwolf

    A Love Funny

    By Laserwolf,

    First my apologies for the delay between posts. I have another post about Leadership coming soon. In the meantime, I have another funny I've received recently that's sure to get some moans, groans, lulz, and lol's. Enjoy!
    today'sFUNNY=============================
    What happens when you fall in love with:
    A chef? (You get buttered up.)
    A chauffeur? (You get taken for a ride.)
    A gambler? (He cheats on you.)
    A telephone operator? (He gives you a phone-y line.)
    A trashman? (He dumps you.)
    A clockmaker? (He two-times you.)
    A pastry cook? (He desserts you.)
    A shoe salesman? (He walks all over you.)
    An elevator operator? (He lets you down.)
    An artist? (He gives you the brush.)
    A jogger? (He gives you the run-around.)
    today'sTHOT============================
    Yesterday I lost all self-control, but I found it today. It was under the couch.
    =======================================
  15. Laserwolf
    In a prior post, Leadership - A Series of Thoughts, I began by asking for definitions of leadership. So I want to start my series with what I believe to be the most succinct definition of leadership: influence.
    Simply stated by John Maxwell inDeveloping the Leader Within You, the definition of leadership is influence. Maxwell continues with his favorite leadership proverb:


    He who thinketh he leadeth and hath no one following him is only taking a walk.
    Leadership assumes people will follow you not because you bare a title or rank. Now the question become, What do you do with the people who follow you?
    Just as in real life, whether it's Assembly Chairman, Trium, Emperor, Deputy, Officer, or whatever title you bare in CN, there is a measure of influence attributed to these positions. It is up the leader to decide how to use that influence in regards to those whom is led. Will it be for the betterment of the alliance as a whole or to feed an ego that wants to be center stage? Is it all about you or about the alliance?
    Under our influence, it is our task to raise up and train leaders - equip those who follow us. Andy Stanley, author of The Next Generation Leader, states "... leadership is not always about getting things done "right." Leadership is about getting things done through other people.....We must never forget that the people who follow us are exactly where we have led them. If there is no one to whom we can delegate, it is our own fault."
    How are we going to use our influence when it comes to our alliance members? Whether we admit it or not, we will leave a legacy of how well we led (or not). The influence we assume must not be used to further any other agenda other than the betterment of the alliance we serve. To use it in any other fashion does not only our followers a great disservice but our alliance as well.
    I look around and I see alliances led by teenagers and college students that are learning the very nature of what it means to be in leadership. I know this is a game; however, there are many life lessons to be learned through CN in my opinion. I have found CN to be not just a game where pixels are manipulated but a game where we interact with humans not NPC's. Learning to lead in the multi-cultural context of CN is a skill that, I believe, will make us all better leaders as we grow and develop.
    In closing, I want to put a practical application to leadership that takes the "Influence" definition more personal. It is the quote in my sig, we must never assume that methodologies can do what only relationships can. -Walt Muller. Leadership is about the people we lead, the relationships built, and development of future leadership not about the position itself.
    I look forward to our future discussions as we will talk about Vision Casting, Goal Setting, Decision Making, Leader Development, among other topics.
  17. Laserwolf

    Today's Funny

    By Laserwolf,

    Well I'm sitting at the house enjoying some much needed vacation time from my RL job and I thought I would post something pretty funny to fill the gap between my posts on Leadership. Enjoy!


    Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
    The elderly gentleman went back to the doctor for a test a month later. The doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again."
    To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
  18. Laserwolf
    I've seen several other blogs have listed who has visited that blog recently; however, I can't seem to add that block to my blog.
    Am I missing something that obvious? lol (Yes I've tried to add Latest Visitors from the Add Blocks drop-down menu )
  20. Laserwolf
    Well I thought I'd try this blogging thing out and see how it goes. Contained within this blog will be thoughts and insights about CN events as well as the random stuff that will hopefully bring a smile, a lol, or a lulz to those who read.
    To start things off, here's a funny and a thought for the day:
    today'sFUNNY===========================
    The flight attendant watched a passenger try to stuff his hopelessly overloaded bags into the overhead bin.
    Finally she informed him that he would have to check the oversized luggage.
    "When I fly other airlines," he said irritably, "I never have this problem!"
    She smiled and said, "Sir, when you fly other airlines, I don't have this problem either."
    today'sTHOT============================
    I wrestled with my conscience once, but everyone knew I was faking it. Oddly enough, they watched anyway.
    =======================================
×
×
  • Create New...