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About Laserwolf

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    GATO's Wolf with guns
  • Birthday 01/25/1977

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    Global Alliance and Treaty Organization
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  1. Who can relate? Sing to the tune of "Sleigh Bells Ring/Winter Wonderland": (Verse 1) Sleigh bells ring? It’s tinnitus What's that pain? My arthritis. We're both growing old - You're grey-haired, I'm bald – Using walkers in the winter once again. (Verse 2) When we try watching TV: "Turn it up! Can't you hear me?" We don't like the shows, but that's how it goes, We feel about a century too old. (bridge) In the kitchen: "What did I come here for?" Guess I'll go ahead and make a snack. "Have you seen my glasses?" "Shut the fridge door!" "If you use my dentures, could you give them back?" (Verse 3) Early on, we retire, Eating prunes by the fire. We've had a great life; We're husband and wife. "Tell me what your name is once again?" Copyright 2011 Bill DiGennaro. Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes. today'sTHOT============================ I was so tired this morning, I entered my password in the microwave. =======================================
  2. Hey i`m running for senate. Watch your back!

  3. Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can ACTUALLY accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point: ~ Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. ~ Stop exercising. Waste of time. ~ Read less. Makes you think. ~ Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff. ~ Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow. ~ Spend more time at work, surfing the web. ~ Take a vacation to someplace important, like to see the world's largest ball of twine. ~ Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did. ~ Stop bringing lunch from home--eat out more. ~ Don't have eight children at once. ~ Get in a whole NEW rut! ~ Start being superstitious. ~ Personal goal: Don't bring back disco. ~ Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words. ~ Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt. ~ Spend my summer vacation in cyberspace. ~ Create loose ends. ~ Get more toys. ~ Get further in debt. ~ Don't believe politicians. ~ Break at least one traffic law. ~ Don't drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice. ~ Don't swim with piranhas or sharks. ~ Spread out priorities beyond the ability to keep track of them. ~ Wait for opportunity to knock. ~ Focus on the faults of others. ~ Mope about faults. ~ Never make New Year's resolutions again. today'sTHOT============================ Aim low. Reach your goals. Avoid disappointment. ======================================= EDIT: forgot today's THOT
  4. I purchased Designer FX and Pro Scores from VideoCopilot
  5. First, I would like to say thanks to those whom commented on the DoW video I made for GATO. Second, for those who are curious, here are some of the details about the video. The video was created in Adobe After Effects CS5. The music is a royalty free music file. Some of the other effects include effects known as Glow, Light Sweep, & Trapcode Shine to name a couple. The animation sequence is based off of a template that I reversed engineered, so to speak, the concepts and design to make the DoW video. I do not have an official background in video production; I am self-taught. I am actually a youth minister in RL. I have had a few ask about the file and so I thought I would post this in case anyone else was wondering.
  6. Well it's been almost an entire year between posts. lol RL keeps me running like crazy, so I thought I would share this fun little tidbit to get us all in Holiday Christmas mood. Enjoy! ======================================== 'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves", "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the north pole Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released to the wilds by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear That Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!? The runners had been removed from his sleigh; The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A. And people had started to call for the cops When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened." And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows: Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation, Demanding millions in over-due compensation. So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife, Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life, Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz, Demanding from now on her title was Ms. And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion That making a choice could cause so much commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur, Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her. Nothing that might be construed to pollute. Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot. Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific. Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific. No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth. And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden. For they raised the hackles of those psychological Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological. No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt; Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt. Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe; And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away. So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed; He just could not figure out what to do next. He tried to be merry, tried to be gay, But you've got to be careful with that word today. His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground; Nothing fully acceptable was to be found. Something special was needed, a gift that he might Give to all without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision, Each group of people, every religion; Every ethnicity, every hue, Everyone, everywhere...even you. So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth... "May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
  7. Use VOC instead of EIC. Took me a minute to figure out who you meant.
  8. TEN WAYS TO CONFUSE SANTA CLAUS Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit! Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa." Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house. Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue for personal injury. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us.
  9. today'sFUNNY=========================== YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING TOO MUCH TV WHEN... ~ you've removed the power button from the remote. ~ you know the names of the top 10 lawn bowlers. - you recite the lines word for word with the actors on TV Land. ~ you start recording soap operas so you don't miss any of the plot. ~ your kids grow up thinking the only thing you can say is "shh, be quiet!" ~ you don't think Bart Simpson is bad, just misunderstood. ~ commercials become more important than going to the bathroom. ~ you start recognizing extras in movies. ~ you continue to watch TV when the cable goes out. ~ you enjoy other climates by watching the snow on TV. ~ you send fan mail to cartoon characters. ~ your monthly cable/satellite bill is larger than your house payment. ~ you send fan mail to infomercial stars. today'sTHOT============================ Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it. =======================================
  10. lawl yeah I my wife particularly pointed out the grass cutting incident as a hint......
  11. Ever wonder in your relationships, how 'the fight' started...: 1. One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2. My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.' So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.' And that's when the fight started... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3. I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.' And that's when the fight started... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4. My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5. My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale. And then the fight started... -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6. My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, 'Do you know him?' 'Yes,' she sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.' 'My goodness!' I said. 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7. I rear-ended a car this morning... So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And then the fight started.... -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8. THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER: When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a tooth-brush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.' The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp. And that's how the fight started................
  12. Has anyone seen LBJ's response to Gilbert? This is priceless: http://www.sportspickle.com/article:1058/letter-lebron-james-responds-to-dan-gilbert At any rate, I'm not a big NBA fan but still follow it. To be honest, this drama doesn't surprise me in the least.
  13. Once again, I find myself slacking in keeping my blog consistently filled with the useful, random, and meh. So to try to correct this, the following is a quote of the day that everyone should enjoy. "Man does not live by words alone, in spite of the fact that sometimes he has to eat them." Adlai Stevenson
  14. Laserwolf

    A 'Puter Funny

    Hey now, I can't say I didn't try to warn you all. I do love my joke emails I get daily.
  15. Laserwolf

    A 'Puter Funny

    Can't say I'm trying to give a subtle warning. today'sFUNNY============================= <prepare rim shot> What is a computer's first sign of old age? Loss of memory What does a baby computer call his father? Data What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard? The space bar What happened when the computer fell on the floor? It slipped a disk Why was there a bug in the computer? It was looking for a byte to eat What is a computer virus? A terminal illness today'sTHOT============================ What disease did cured ham actually have? =======================================
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