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How to confuse Santa

Laserwolf

Entry posted by Laserwolf

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TEN WAYS TO CONFUSE SANTA CLAUS

  1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
  2. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
  3. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."
  4. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.
  5. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.
  6. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
  7. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
  8. Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue for personal injury.
  9. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
  10. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us.

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Lestari

Someone left me a salad once. It really did confuse the !@#$ out of me.

Those damn tricky salads. Steaks are so much more simple and easier to understand. Dunno why we can't just all eat steaks and leave behind the complexity of salads to the evolutionary trash can.

I'd say humans have gotten that far.

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flak attack

Those damn tricky salads. Steaks are so much more simple and easier to understand. Dunno why we can't just all eat steaks and leave behind the complexity of salads to the evolutionary trash can.

I'd say humans have gotten that far.

I feel you. Eyes in the front of the head and canine teeth. We're clearly supposed to be carnivores.

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