Arkantos Posted April 25, 2009 Report Share Posted April 25, 2009 OOC: Old Lady FTW!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HHAYD Posted April 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2009 (edited) All of the gangsters entered their get away vans, marked with some bold words that said, "RUN AWAY!" As the vans begin to move, the old lady smashed one of the gangsters' vans' rear door open and stormed in. -------------------------- "I WANT MY MOMMY!" cried one of the gangsters as he gets throw out of the van. As he gets up, the poor gangster was instantly flatten by five other gang members who were thrown out by the old lady. "What is your problem lady!?" cried the gangster driver as he fights for the control of the van against the angry old lady. "THIS!" she yelled as she picks him up and throws the driver through the side door's window. ----------------------------------- In another van: "(insert cuss word)! That old lady hijacked one of our vans and is now chasing us! Get me the RPG!" ordered one of the gangsters. The gangster was handed a large RPG, opened the rear door, and fired. Hijacked van dodges the RPG Gangster reloads the RPG and fires again Hijacked van dodges the RPG again and the RPG smashes into another of the gang's get away van "(insert cuss word 2x) you lady! Get me that 18 gauge auto shotty mini gun!" ordered the gang member. OOC: The Lighting Thieves gang has some pretty nasty mini guns that use shotgun rounds, and they call those mini guns "auto shotty mini guns". Edited April 25, 2009 by HHAYD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEDCJT Posted April 25, 2009 Report Share Posted April 25, 2009 OOC: Interesting.....and utterly hilarious. Will the police get involved? Like in wild police car chases? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HHAYD Posted April 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2009 OOC: Interesting.....and utterly hilarious. Will the police get involved? Like in wild police car chases? OOC: If the old lady doesn't bring down all of the gangsters, then the police will show up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subtleknifewielder Posted April 25, 2009 Report Share Posted April 25, 2009 (edited) All of the gangsters entered their get away vans, marked with some bold words that said, "RUN AWAY!" As the vans begin to move, the old lady smashed one of the gangsters' vans' rear door open and stormed in. OOC: Oho, I especially like that paragraph...:lol: Edited April 25, 2009 by Subtleknifewielder Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HHAYD Posted April 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2009 (edited) During the street chase: The old lady, noticing the mini gun warming up, imminently spun the van that she hijacked in a 180 degree angle and dove out. The auto shotty mini gun roared as it spits out a stream of steel balls, but it didn't kill the old lady. Ten police cars were parking in front of the remaining five get away vans, and 12 police cars were speeding toward the remaining get away vans from the rear. One of the front blocking police cars had a huge megaphone attached on top of it, blaring, "Pull over to the side or face getting lots of speeding tickets and other charges." "What should we do now?" asked one of the gang members. "We blow those bozos in front of us into pieces, that is what we are going to do." replied the group commander. The commander then turned on his radio and ordered, "Blow up any police cars that are blocking you or are close to you." The front three vans fired hails of .337 caliber bullets, .50 caliber bullets, 18 gauge shotgun shells' steel balls, rockets, and RPGs at the front police cars as the police officers ran for it. However, it was a fatal move, the Lighting Thieves gang just created their very own roadblock in front of them, a burning roadblock. "OH (insert cuss word)!" yelled the group commander as all of the get away vans smashed head on into the piles of burning police cars... ---------------------------------------------------------- About a hour later, in the Lighting Thieves HQ: Harken Staler was repeatedly smacking his head on the desk while watching the news. His gang had failed, again. "SON OF (insert cuss word)!" he roared as the group commander limped into his office. Harken Staler told the commander coldly, "I don't want any explanation from you, you're fired." Loud echo of a shotgun blast can be heard throughout the building... Edited April 25, 2009 by HHAYD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEDCJT Posted April 25, 2009 Report Share Posted April 25, 2009 OOC: Oho, this is getting interesting... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HHAYD Posted April 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 26, 2009 (edited) "(insert cuss word), I might as well as lead the next mission myself." mumbled Harken Staler. Noticing the decomposing smell if his office, he realized that he forgotten to get rid of the dead group commander that he blasted with a shotgun. He picked up the phone and spoke, "Yeah, I got some decomposing, bloody garbage in my office, I need it cleaned up." He the hung up the phone and walked out of the office. ----------------------------------------------------------------- About two hours later, in Toge shopping mall: 30 masked men, heavily armed, stormed into the shopping mall quickly. Five of them took over the office, and spoke through the intercom, "EVERYONE GET OUT NOW, UNLESS IF YOU WANT TO BE HELD HOSTAGE!" Meanwhile, the gangsters rounded up 20 people who were a bit too slow to get out of the mall. "Orders sir?" asked one of the gangster. "Place motion sensors on all exits and entrances so the police won't storm in with our backs turned." Suddenly, the office phone rang, and Harken Staler picked it up. "Sir, we are going to storm in and arrest you, understand?" Harken Staler replied, "If you do storm in, be sure to bring in oh, about 20 body bags." Police through the phone, "Then what do you want?" Harken Staler, "A happy meal and silence!!" Harken Staler slams the phone down ------------------------------------------------- Inside the empty food cafe: "I will get you naughty boys, you all will regret ruining my shopping spree, again..." mumbled an old lady as she takes a butcher knife from one of the food stands. Edited April 26, 2009 by HHAYD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subtleknifewielder Posted April 26, 2009 Report Share Posted April 26, 2009 OOC: Oh, ####. they just can't catch a break... :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEDCJT Posted April 26, 2009 Report Share Posted April 26, 2009 OOC: Oh, ####. they just can't catch a break... :lol: OOC: I agree, I agree... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HHAYD Posted April 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 "Boss! We got a old lady wandering around in the mall!" shouted one the gangsters who was staring at the video camera screens. "You three, go tie her up." ordered Harken Staler. He then turned around and spoke in the radio, "The rest of you, I want all of you to empty the cash registers, hack into the credit card sliders and write the code to gain access to all of the money withdrawn from the shoppers' cards on your arm with the invisible ink." ------------------------------------------- "Hey old grandma! What are you doing here!?" shouted one the gang members as they approached the old lady. Bad idea, because it fired her up... "How dare you call me an old grandma, you should learn your manners!" shouted the old lady. "Make me, old grandma!" shouted the gangster as he runs toward her armed with duct tape and and metal baseball bat. "Read this manners book, naughty boy!" shouted the old lady as she throws a book titled, "Learning proper manners." at the rude gangster's face, instantly knocking him out. "Oh (insert cuss word)! Isn't that the same woman who completely wreaked our previous two missions?!" mumbled one of the gangsters. "Indeed." replied the second gangster as they get smashed by a giant flower pot thrown by the old lady... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HHAYD Posted May 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 (edited) "(insert cuss word)! RUN!" screamed first gangster as he runs for it while the second one got up, leaving the second gangster behind to fight off the old lady. "Think you can wreak our party!?" screamed the second gangster as he pull out his pistol and begin firing at her. The old lady took cover behind a giant flower pot surrounded by smaller flower pots and grabbed another flower pot. She then threw the small flower pot over the giant one, and the flower pot smashed the third gangster's head and knocked him out. --------------------------------------------------------- "We got a major problem here boss!" gasped the first gangsters who ran away from the old lady. "Yeah, I noticed. I was watching you running away from that old lady thanks to these security computers. Kill her on sight or I will put you to "sleep". Now get going." replied the leader. ---------------------------------- In a tanning salon store: "Bad boy!" shouted the old lady as she storms into the store and confronts the gangster inside it who was hacking into the credit card receiver. "You wanna go old grandma?" yelled back the gangster as he turns around and pulls out his combat knife and shouted, "I am pretty sure your dumb mommy taught you not to play with sharp objects, is that correct old lady?". Poor choice of words and weapon, because he was instantly smashed by one of the life sized plastic human statues threw by the old lady and was plummeted by the her fists while she was yelling, "DID YOUR MOTHER TAUGHT YOU NOT TO PLAY WITH SHARP OBJECTS?!" Then he ran for it, and was hit by a heavy cash register thrown by the old lady in the rear end and was sent sprawling into one of the tanning bed machines. As he got up, the old lady beaten him down and repeatably slammed the tanning bed's cover on the gangster until he no longer moved. As she walked away, the tanning bed machine turned on. She walked over to the sun glasses section, grabbed on of the sun glasses, opened the tanning machine's cover, placed the sun glasses over the gangster's eyes, closed the cover and walked out of the tanning salon... OOC: Due to RL and the on going war in CN, I am unable to regularly update this. Edited May 3, 2009 by HHAYD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HHAYD Posted May 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 (edited) "There she is!" shouted one of the armed gangsters who were looking for the old lady. "Kill that snotty punk!" shouted another gangster as he lets out a hail of machine gun fires. One of the gangster loaded his rocket launcher, and aimed it at her... "Very naughty..." mumbled the old lady as she takes cover behind a table and pulls out a small bottle of pepper spray and threw it at the group of gangsters. Some of the machine gun bullets punctured the flying pepper spray bottle, and unfortunately for the gangsters, most of the pepper spray ended up on the rocket launcher armed gang member who was about the pull the trigger. "MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!" screamed the rocket launcher armed gangster as he tips backward and accidentally pull the trigger, firing four missiles into the ceiling. The explosion shook the ceiling support beams above them and some of the support beams gave away, falling on top of the trigger happy gangsters. The last remaining gangster who wasn't hit by the falling steel beams shouted, "Hey old lady! I bet you are going to get hit by one of those falling support b-!" and was instantly cut off when the entire section of the ceiling collapsed and fell on top of him. "I hope they have some decent health insurance." said the old lady as she walked away, shaking her head. Edited May 3, 2009 by HHAYD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subtleknifewielder Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 OOC: And just update when you can. No one can honestly ask more of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkantos Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 OOC: This is the most epic win I've ever seen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HHAYD Posted May 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 5, 2009 (edited) The old lady was walking around in the shopping mall, looking for where the gang is hiding in. As she enters a kitchen supplies store, six gangsters charged toward her. "Is there a butcher knife in here?" mumbled the old lady as she looked around in the store. The first gangster charged toward here head on with a shotgun. "DIE!" he screamed as he pulls the trigger. Nothing happens "The safety trigger!" he cried as he was smashed on the head with a large steel pot, leaving a dent in the pot. The second gangster also charged up with a pistol, but the old lady threw a large bread making machine at his foot, causing him to fall backward and shoot himself in the foot. The third one was armed with a rocket launcher. As he pulls the trigger, he gets hit in the face with the flat side of a butcher knife threw by the old lady, causing him to tilt backward and fire five missiles into the ceiling. "Oh (insert cuss word)..." mumbled both of the remaining gangsters as the entire ceiling in the store collapsed... Edited May 5, 2009 by HHAYD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subtleknifewielder Posted May 6, 2009 Report Share Posted May 6, 2009 OOC: And how the heck does the old lady survive THAT? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEDCJT Posted May 6, 2009 Report Share Posted May 6, 2009 OOC: And how the heck does the old lady survive THAT? OOC: She's immortal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subtleknifewielder Posted May 6, 2009 Report Share Posted May 6, 2009 OOC: She's immortal. OOC: ri-ight... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HHAYD Posted May 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 7, 2009 OOC: ri-ight... OOC: Keep on dreaming... ---------- IC: "That old grandma better be dead. Otherwise I am going to shoot myself." mumbled one of the gangsters as five of them stared at the rubble. Suddenly, the ceiling above them fell apart and the old lady jumped out. "Freak this! I am going to commit suicide!" screamed the same gangster as his buddies get their rear ends kicked by the old lady. Gunshot... ---- What really happened was when the store collapsed, the old lady was lucky enough to take cover beneath a table. After the rubble settled, she climbed out of the table, pushed some rubble away, and climbed above the ceiling using the rubble as footsteps. -------------------- In the hijacked security room: "Send in the flamethrowers..." ordered Harken Staler who was in a very bad mood... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEDCJT Posted May 7, 2009 Report Share Posted May 7, 2009 OOC: Oho, I'm loving it so far. Continue on, please! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HHAYD Posted May 8, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 (edited) "Now where is that invincible old grandma?" asked one of the gangsters armed with a flamethrower as five flamethrower gang members walked around in the mall, looking for the old lady. Suddenly, a toy robot walked in front of them. "What the heck?" asked the first gangster. The robot started playing music and dancing. "How cute..." said the second gangster. While the flamethrowers were distracted, the old lady sneaked up behind them, and smashed two flower pots on two of the gangsters. "She is right behind us!" screamed the third gangster as he spins around while the old lady dashes into a bakery shop. The the three remaining gangsters also dash into the shop's bread baking room and the first gangster was met with a two opened packages of white flour thrown at him. "MY EYES!" screamed the first gangster as he pulls the trigger, letting out a stream of fire all over the place. Bad idea, because there were cooking oil bottles inside a cabinet within the flamethrower range, resulting in a burst of flame from the cabinet and sent the first gangster sprawling onto the floor. The other two gangsters noticed the old lady running around the bakery, so they also fired streams of flame. As the three gangsters were dealing with their own burning problems, the old lady grabbed a fire extinguisher from the janitor room as the fire alarm and sprinklers went off. Armed with the fire extinguisher, she charged out of the room and into the bread baking room, firing anti-fire cream at the gangsters' flamethrowers which effectively disabled the flamethrowers. "Oh crap, our weapons are dead thanks to the sprinklers and that old grandma has a fire extinguisher." mumbled the second gangster as the first gangster gets smashed in his head with the fire extinguisher... Edited May 8, 2009 by HHAYD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEDCJT Posted May 9, 2009 Report Share Posted May 9, 2009 (edited) OOC: EPIC....Keep 'em coming! Edited May 9, 2009 by JEDCJT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HHAYD Posted May 11, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2009 (edited) "I SHOULD HAVE PAID FOR THE PREMIUM HEALTH INSURANCE!!!" screamed the second gangster as he attempts to flee the smoking bakery store, but was grabbed by the old lady and pulled back in. Smash! Scream Wham! Scream Crunch! Silence... ---------------- A few minutes later: "Get her!" screamed a group commander as 25 gangsters armed with automatic weapons, auto shot guns, and rocket launchers charged toward the old lady. The old lady dove into a makeup/perfume store as the gangsters fired all at once, reducing a roasted peanuts food stand into a fireball. They all charged into the store at once, and they were instantly met with showers of perfume. 26x louder than a single person's bloodcurling scream --------------- While watching the chaos going on through the surveillance TVs, "(insert cuss word) you all, I am going to take down that old grandma myself." said Harken Staler as he draws out his pistol as he leaves the room... Three quick shots are fired while three group commanders drop onto the floor, dead Edited May 11, 2009 by HHAYD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subtleknifewielder Posted May 11, 2009 Report Share Posted May 11, 2009 OOC: now THAT was an Epic post...the one-word paragraphs describing the sounds emerging from the shop made the entire post ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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