Musings on 1250 days
Entry posted by PumpkinFunk
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So, I was just doing a calculation because I was curious. November 27, 2006 (maybe earlier, but I can't remember anymore) was when I joined this game. It's been over 1250 days, and even though it's been on and off (this is now my 4th nation, 5th or 6th if you include rerolling for resources), I've realized that this kind of makes me an oldie around here, which is a huge shock. I've seen a lot of stuff, both good and bad, and I'm gonna be Andy Rooney and just talk about stuff and my thoughts. I'm gonna try not to piss off my current or past alliances or alliance-mates, but I probably will. I'll just add the usual statement that this is my personal thoughts and doesn't reflect my alliance's view. I also apologize if I say something that bothers you or insults you or whatever. I don't mean it.
Evolution of Politics:
Anyone else remember the days of North vs. South? 10 team colors? Pink being a strong color? Those were the days. Back then, my alliance breaking a NAP to enter GWIII was a major no-no, enemies weren't nearly so cordial, there was good discussion on the OWF, and most importantly, wars could happen without an MDP web cluster$%&@. Out of the ashes of GWII/GWIII/UJW came what we've got now, and needless to say, I hate it. Alliances have too many allies and many try to straddle different camps (I've been guilty of this too). People are all nice and friendly, which is great (cordiality is nice) until it prevents legitimate wars from happening. No major alliances are trying covert operations (they're bad, but they did create wars). Oh, most importantly, people are too butthurt to realize what's good for the game as a whole anymore. GWIII was the start of major reparations. Were they huge? Yes. Were they a shock at the time? Yes. Would they be a dent in this day? No. Newsflash: This game was better when alliances would fight wars, pay relatively small (enough to pay for damage, if even) reparations. I understand that war has escalated a lot - back in GWIII and UJW, nukes were forbidden, and since they've been common practice, but that doesn't mean you have to keep escalating things. I'm terrified to see what happens after the next major war. Karma was bad. This most recent one wasn't quite as bad, but it'll get worse.
Since I've joined, things plummeted and have maybe gotten marginally better, but not significantly so. I've finally seen the return of an alliance trying to force disbandment of another, even as I've seen the end of things like EZI/PZI (many friends were victim to this). I've seen an MDP web turn from bipolar to monopolar to a multipolar mess where nothing can happen. I've seen people get cordial, but also get dishonest and conniving instead of upfront because they have to be to get ahead. What I saw when I began wasn't great, but it was much better than now.
The community
This is an interesting thing. Back when I started, being an active member on forums and IRC wasn't really encouraged, so the core community was really small. Despite that, I never felt much of a unity with people on the other side that I have in more recent times. NPO and Legion didn't mix. People are generally more cordial and friendly, and IRC is more common, but I've also seen a lot of bad things. People have honestly gotten OOC stuff too involved with the IC these days - we've seen wars and PZIs/EZIs started for totally non-game reasons. I see people feel betrayed personally when an OOC friend goes to war with them, or whatever else (DarkMistress and Crymson comes to mind, among other things). Valhalla as an alliance held a grudge for years due to a failed relationship between a now-gone member and this other person. Other similar things have happened. People do politics on Skype in the midst of OOC conversations. A Skype call gone wrong pretty much ended The Continuum. I get the appeal of these things, but there's been far too much OOC brought into the game for my liking. I do frequent 2 OOC channels on IRC and chat about CN and non-CN stuff, but for the most part, I try and keep the OOC far away from the IC. There are plenty of people who I like dealing with on IRC in a non-game context but hate dealing with when the game comes into play, and if I let that get in the way, I wouldn't enjoy it as much. CN is very community-driven, but the community can only survive when people keep a line betwen things. I'm a pretty secretive person with personal details because I've seen people's health ailments, phone numbers, and personal emails revealed, and I don't want that. I think only 10 people in the whole actually know my real name, 2 of whom I met in my dorm freshman year and found out they played CN significantly later. If you're a college basketball fan, you probably saw me on TV at least once during the NCAA Tournament if you watched it all, but I damn well don't want you to be able to see me there and know it's me. It's very hard these days to keep staying in a community advancing to more and more personal forms of contact (I gave away a cell phone number for emergency while in TOP government, I've been in Skype calls, I've gotten Facebook friend requests incredibly randomly) when you're skeptical of doing so. Remember that this is a game, people, and if you get too involved in it, it can kill your life in a variety of ways.
Personal relationships and the game:
I feel I should say something about this here and now: I know I've pissed a lot of people off over my time in the game between a variety of things. I've abandoned alliances due to RL or other reasons. I've trash-talked people and alliances to others. I've pursued a grudge or two in my time. If I have, I'm sorry, and I'm trying this whole turning over a new leaf thing since taking my month and a half off. Like everyone, I've gotten into the heat of the game and taken things personally, which is bad. On the other hand, I've had a huge number of really good CN-friendships in this game and there's people who help keep my sanity/keep me remembering this is only a game throughout. I want to try and do justice to all of them here because I've never done an "OMG I've been here so long" thread and my only OWF CN-quitting thread was quite a mess where I pretty much disavowed all that I've said.
This'll be long, so:
Waterana, Graphix, Richard Rahl, Longbowe, and the other Lunar Wars Oceanus people who I'm forgetting
Zulchep 
Jazzie
Atlashill -- Kaleidoscope was a long time ago. Amazing.
DarkMistress and Bilrow back in the day (I screwed things up here)
Biff Cantrell, my former co-Legate
Lord of Destruction -- a guy I couldn't stand to deal with once upon a time
Comrade Ash and F15PilotX
Coursca
Triyun, Dilber, and Umbrae Noctem back in the day (I kinda screwed this one up badly, too)
feanor (Keeping me from killing IC-Crymson, one day at a time)
Perspective:
Every alliance is fundamentally the same, whether you realize it or not. Democracy vs. autocracy isn't very different. Karma vs. Hegemony, Selective vs. non-selective. I've been in them all. Spending time jumping around the find the right fit might seem good, but it's not always great. I've spent 3 years in CN jumping around and still have never found a perfect fit for a variety of reasons. If you're still here after a month, you've found something great, so enjoy it. Even with all the issues, the community in the game and in many alliances is great, even if the politics (internal and external) leave something to be desired. It's why I've kept coming back after quitting so many times.
Wow. This ended up being longer than I thought it would be. Great way to cool down and not think about my impending death Physical Chemistry final that's in less than 2 hours. 
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