In Memoriam

[Beauty]

 

A Frozen Heart in Memoriam

 

      It's been a month now since I founded Germany in CNRP2. Germany was not just a country to me, it was my first European Nation in roleplay. When I founded Germany, I was trying to improve my roleplay skills and become more socially acceptable. When playing Germany, I constantly contributed to the community actively and tried to be one of the best realistic nations in Europe. I never trolled or joked around, as I took Germany very seriously. It wasn't just a nation to me, It was my first nation in which I had not roleplayed a taboo or alternative form of government. I played a normal modern government with a democracy, and I loved it. Germany participated actively in European Affairs and held neutral stances on most conflicts. It was very productive and attempted to strike good relationships with all of it's neighbors in Europe.

 

Then on one early May night I went to bed, and when awaking; I had woke up to see my nation removed in CN and my forum account in shackles. It took several days and finally I had regained my access. I came on happily to announce my return and was hoping people would be happy to see me back as I had generally good relations with everyone at this time or tried to. I generally was until finding out my nation was gone. Shocked by this news, I requested to know who had it and was pointed to Markus. When talking to Markus, I thought it would be easy to get my nation back as I had done nothing to anyone that would warrant me not to. He informed me that there was no way I was getting any of Germany back and did not offer reason. "Southern Germany was now his" and Northern Germany was now under his and Uberstein's protectorate.

Sad about this, I requested Northern Germany and was denied this as well.

 

To actually put the effort into turning around and being a good RPer, and someone that other people want to RP with and then have it all taken from you is a horrible feeling. You try to do right, and you get punished on top of being gone for something that was not your fault. Needless to say, I had a lot of emotion based in Germany. I think that is the largest mistake I had made with that nation. It was my first nation that was looked up upon, and the land in others eyes was actually worth something instead of a random plot of land in a random continent. The rich culture and history just made it a great nation to play. I loved being a chancellor and handling affairs in Europe like a real leader would; rather than some Empress or Premier. Germany tried to keep everything as good for everyone as it could. Germany tried it's hardest to keep peace and bring good affairs to everyone, and all of a sudden all of my work was gone due to someone taking advantage of a security flaw in my account.

 

My roleplay perspective since then has never been the same. I put a lot of emotion into Germany, a lot! I was for once doing the "right things" in the eyes of the community. I was trying to roleplay fairly and energetically with all. This was a massive change, and I know it wasn't intended to, but since then I have never had the feel back again. Many do not really care for my ways now and immediately afterwards labeled me as a "troll". However I didn't really care. At that point the worse damage they could do to me was done. One of the only nation's I cared very deeply for was ripped from me when I couldn't defend myself due to alleged crimes i did not commit. It's never been the same and never will be. I considered my neighbors my friends. To see them do this on top of the emotional investment into Germany was heartbreaking.

 

Germany will always live on to me. And to those who still ask me if I'll ever give it up and get over it. I never will.

 

Happy One Month, My ole' Germany. I won't forget you.

Edited June 20, 2014 by Rotavele