Arcane
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Posts posted by Arcane
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I, too, have trouble naming anyone from Fark.
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RomeroLand (SotC)
fluoroalien
Spanky22
Ackbarican Idol
Nuke Me Please
OMG. AWESOME. FREAKING AWESOME. I. LIKE.
(oh and, boooo! Arcane is still there
)Aww... Just 'cause I de-opped you in #farkistan?
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(For those of you still living in Mom's basement, you may wish to print this message, go up the stairs, knock on the basement door, and ask Mom to explain the first paragraph to you.)
Farkistan knows that most of us suck at life, especially with bringing children into this world, and raising them to become productive adults, prepared to work hard to provide Social Security benefits to an older generation. Lately, news reports have suggested that we don't send our kids to Cancun or other Mexican resort locations because they will simply get kidnapped and ransoms will follow. Never mind that we actually would rather have our kids never come back and let the kidnappers know we'd pay them for the service they provided. (Your Mom will likely translate that as "we love you so much and would never want anything bad to happen to you. Now come and give Momma a foot massage"). Like your parents, our Submitter, Emperor Norton I, wanted to offer the new members of TotalFark Council a memorable Spring Break experience. And with all the concerns about travel to Mexico, he decided that Panama City, FL, would be the more reasonable destination to send our erection winners. So goes it.
Panama City. This place reeks of sandy vajay-jays (and by that we mean it's totally awesome). Candidates from Wisconsin, Michigan, Iowa, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Canadaland, and all those other past and present provinces of the British Empire who regularly complain about global warming but find themselves winter after winter buried in snow, took the long drive down to the fun 'n sun Florida.
Farkistan News Corps went to this popular Spring Break spot to see how our erection winners made out:
Meet our new Speaker of the Council, RomeroLand. A 30 year old with the heart of a young boy ... preserved in formaldehyde and kept in a jar on his desk. We originally exposed this candidate as being bulimic but later determined he's just an attention whore, purposely choking on his own vomit just to get on the news. This isn't what your parents or your Subby sent you there for!
A veteran Council member and professed "man of action", fluoroalien has been observing the natives of Planet Bob for nearly a third of a century. fluoro decided to take matters into his own hands by debunking the myth of shark jacking. A once notorious Spring Break ritual, he tied meat to his ankles in order to draw in the sharks of the sea. Once the shark took a chomp, he furiously pleasured the shark as the drunken beach dwellers rhythmically clapped at the performance.
Spanky22, who is 27, has done the Spring Break thing several times. Now that he's older, he just wants to be off by himself. But being a stud muffin is the cross he bears. He sought refuge away from the chubby chasers at this clothing optional beach, where he was able to feast on bacon sammiches while tanning his muscular body. (That's not a six-pack, it's a keg.)
Nuke Me Now is back and better than ever. But planning ahead is not his strong suit.
He's a man of the moment. The trip from New Hampshire to Panama City was a bit longer than he or his credit card had anticipated, and he ran out of gas in Chattanooga, TN. Almost there buddy!
Fortunately, the good old boys at the Delta House on the Chattanooga University campus offered to show him a good time. A really good time for Nuke in the woods outside of town.
Here's Nuke and his new country pal who is apparently another lover of bacon since he kept telling Nuke to "squeal like a pig."
The ageless Ackbarican Idol had been hoping to end his sled and purchase his next Wonder using the free wi-fi at the beach.
But, alas, it was not to be. Stormy weather in the Midwest disrupted commercial air traffic and instead of sun and fun, AI's Spring Break involved inhaling the fartal remains of other travelers while trying to catch some sleep after not one, not two, but 5 separate connecting flights were canceled.
Meanwhile, a special erection was held a few days before the April erections to fill the vacant Council seat once held by Princess Jules, who has relocated to a new castle.
Instead of going on Spring Break, Rheal Lubb, seen here appearing to study the Farkistan Official Government Manual of Oppression, enjoyed a three day reign of terror spent all his time searching for his favorite bong, forgetting in the smoky haze of the TotalFark Council Lounge, that he had let his buddy Michael borrow it for a party a few months ago. With the shortest TF council term in living memory, Rheal is now the William Henry Harrison of Fark. Except that he's not dead.
Eventually everybody returned safely home to Farkistan. We are now under the ruthless yoke of our new TotalFark Council for April:
RomeroLand (SotC)fluoroalienSpanky22Ackbarican IdolNuke Me PleaseMay the gods save Farkistan.
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The guy comes to apologize and you tell him that he's wrong for doing it publicly and say nobody cares and it's annoying? Come on. He's apologizing in public so everyone recognizes that he realizes he was wrong. If he says the bad things in public, the apology is his to make in public if that's the way he wants to do it. This way people can change their opinion of him (if they have one) and not continue to think he's an $@! for posting what he posted. When people are man enough to publicly apologize, it says something about their character, and I for one think it's a good thing to do.
If you don't care or find it annoying, why post in the thread? Just skip it. I've found most people make posts that I could care less about, but is it your role to dictate what people post on the OWF?
/scrolls back up
Nope, I didn't think I saw either of you w/ mod status
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Nice speech, and i hope that you guys can pull a trick out of the hat, it would only make this war better.
P.S. KDL, im sry, i sent flowers today, they should get there, if not, i send some more
Uh... KDL, Why is Damian sending you flowers?
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My bladder control is just fine.. I'm just amazed how idiotic some people are when it comes to a decision that was made on behalf of an alliance. If UW was in any condition to fight at this time we would be in the thick of it. But internal problems plus the fact that our friends in OJ,MHA,GDA,TPF,UN,RE, along with AZTEC, are fighting each other make this an impossible situation.
There are over 40 alliances of 10 or more members on Planet Steve. Most of those are not involved in this fight, but I see none have posted a statement of nuetrality. Are they just as guilty as UW in not being involved in this war? My posting this thread was to inform the Planet of our Nuetrality..nothing more..after receiving several requests from leaders on both sides of this conflict to jump in.
That being accomplished.. I ask admin to lock this thread...
UW always had Fark's back last round and I know what kind of guy PK is. For anyone to call them out for not picking a side is pathetic when they're divided between their allies. I, for one, respect your decision, PK and think it was the right thing to do.
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the other part of the game involves the forum and a freedom of speech. And what kind of game is it when you are setting up the candy land board to play and instead of your partner coming to play he brings his whole neighborhood and kicks your board over? It is in fact you that are taking away the game much like hunters who bait the field and still call it a sport. I'd type more but I'm on my phone.
Ps I still haven't recieved my flowers.
Oh shi... sorry about the flowers. You'll get them tomorrow.
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oh, and NERD!!!
/Arcane points
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While I agree with you on your first point, I think the "stop taking it seriously" argument is completely lame, reminds me of someone who calls another player a nerd because he is loosing at a game.
My point isn't to not take it seriously, but rather that both sides have more than expressed their points repeatedly and that all they are doing is basically bickering at this point with nobody willing to concede. They're arguing as if in the grand scheme of things it matters more than what it should for a GAME.
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You have a good imagination then. Because those two logs are two separate people and two separate conversations. The Swat convo was obviously saying that we were looking to hit 4077 and 4077 only. We were worried that they would call their friends, so we wanted some people on the backside to help us if they came in and tried to ground us for fighting in the school yard. In the original list of people we thought would come out FARK was never Mentioned, TPF was never mentioned TF and TRG were never mentioned, Ohh and CE was never mentioned. So half your list is just strict fabrication to help you feel good about your goals.
Everyone can argue back and forth all day over this--it's pointless. Now, I'm just speaking for Fark here, but I'm sure that many others feel the same way. We felt there was a credible threat to Fark so we took action and responded to it by pre-emptively attacking MHA and allies as part of a bloc.
My god, people, it's a GAME. It's not like because we're attacking (whether or not the intel was or was not accurate) people are actually dying, your buildings are crumbling or you're losing anything more than PIXELS ON A SCREEN. You all sound like you're 8 years old arguing over which pokeman card is the best one. Grow a set, man-up, and deal with it. It's a nation simulation game with a major element (if not the biggest element in TE) being WAR.
/end rant
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Hey I've been away for about 3 weeks...what did I miss ?
:lol:
Some BS story made up to attack us? Awesome! I'm just surprised former friends are attacking us. Fark & crimson & Aztec. Thats fun.
BoG... There's not a single Fark nation attacking you guys. We're having our lulz with MHA.
Regardless, though, if you guys DID attack us this round to counter or straight out blitz us later on, we'd at least know that it wasn't anything personal, but just more fun after the reset of round 3. Personally, I don't think alliances/blocs should carry through to the next round--it'd make the game stagnate with everyone always on the same sides. Friendships, yes, but not political ties. If you personally hit my nation, BoG, I'd still jump onto IRC and chat with you like nothing's happened. I'd hope you'd feel the same way.
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Any feedback from the powers that be on this?
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I'm just a military leader >.> People should really check in with Thaisport about facts >.<
I'm one of the military leaders within Fark for the round. I'm not gov--just military. But you can be damn sure that if I'm in an IRC conversation discussing going to war and saying "I'm gonna roll another alliance" that what I'm saying is likely to happen. To say that the responsibility was ours to check with Thai is asinine. If you can't control the people who are supposed to be your military leaders, you shouldn't have those people representing you and getting you into situations like what we have at present. Just my 2 cents.
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We're getting attacked!? $%&@!
-takes a look at her nation-
lolwut? nice attackz guiz, you hit all our ghosts!
/Arcane puts FreedomvilleAT on the priority target list
Hi FV... how's the bebbeh?
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LOL
I wanna see what happens if the next round had starting funds of $1bil. That'd be interesting.
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Fark better watch out. We at MHA have the flying spaghetti monster on our side.
Seriously, nobody else has such a cool higher power. Carbohydrate based deities PWN yours.
Way to piss off the FSM, seriously, you're all screwed now...
The FSM Flies for Fark!
/no, seriously--It does.
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These erections are brought to you in association with beer and the Catholic Church.
Once again we find ourselves preparing to erect a number (five actually) of pre-eminent Farkers to lead us through the mists and mazes that is inter-alliance politics. But this is not just an everyday erection, for in March we also pay homage to beer, one of the three foundations on which we build our alliance and base our Farkystyle upon. For in the month of March we celebrate and practice the principles of the great Saint Patrick.
Well known for his serpent phobia and love of a good pint this man was an example to all. Most notably the Catholic Church, who just like Farkistan, also celebrates this great man. This Irish saint believed in strengthing faith through the suitable relaxation of mind and body.
While Farkers worship a variety of deities and idols (lolcats, frightening airborn pasta, dynamite monkeys, Ackbarican Idol, and zebras just to mention a few) the relaxation of mind and body through heroic consumption of alcohol is something we all have in common. Expecting nothing other than the best in our leadership this month’s council had to go through a series of challenges.
Failure does not come without humiliation, as first time candidate Raving MainyYak
experienced after attempting to down an entire bottle of Bailey’s 'n' Coke.
And now, after a serious clean-up and several home remedies for hangover we are proud to present you TotalFark council for the month of March!
Spanky22, who wore nothing but green body paint for the entire day
Ackbarican Idol who signed a ten-day contract with the Boston Celtics,
and WickedJ who volunteered to be the Council's personal massage therapist
Romeroland, for the amazing feat of being thrown out of the same bar four times over the evening.
and Princess Jules, for an amazing show of commitment in getting a shamrock tattoo to celebrate her return to Council.
When it convenes, TotalFark Council's first order of business will be to approve a liver stimulus bill proposed
by our Subby, Emperor Norton, seen here riding behind his favorite zebras, or as he calls it, foreplay.
So, this St. Patrick's Day, hoist a pint in salute of the new TotalFark Council:
Ackbarican Idol (Speaker)
Romeroland
wickedj
Princess Jules
Spanky22
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Oh.. and has it been mentioned that you proudly get to wear that beer bottle right over there?
<-----------------------------that way
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You got RE's color right, we're based on purple now...and thanks for the update! The epic duel between MHA and Fark for number one will now begin. Should be good fun!
Fark has never sought the number one position, and frankly, I'm astonished at how many folks we've drawn in already. Looks like this will put a nice target on our backs
/retired from gov so anything I say is unofficial
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Congrats to two of my most favorite allies from round 3!!!
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I suggested change about 3 months ago, anyways, I support change in the alliance score calculation.
Yes, please change this. I also suggested this change months ago and I think there is a huge amount of support behind this. MHA lost 70% of their strength this past round (and were ranked 3rd or 4th in overall NS) yet still maintained the lead because of the influence "number of nations" has.
EDIT: And now is the perfect time to do it before the alliance rankings get posted later on.
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Happiness:
-22.56 (your population is furious.)
)
Something's Amiss in Farkistan
in Alliance Announcements (IC)
Posted
As the war we were finally blessed with comes to an end, Farkistan yet again turns to internal affairs. It is time to look to the lessons learned and to rebuild. We thank the people who have guided us through this period of unrest and welcome those who are to lead us into peace. Yes, as the calendar turns another month, it is Erection season in Farkistan
But not all is as it should be within Farkistan. Rumors about strange occurrences and unexplained disappearances seem to be even more common than usual. It was as if the mothership came for Fluoroalien (although he claims it was not an abduction, but rather a vacation in Australia. Australia, as if that place really existed). Farkers are acting strange on a scale that surprises even the most hardened original greenlighters. And for some reason no one has seen neither hide nor hair of either zebra or gerbil for the last few weeks. It was as if the animals sensed something . . . wrong.
During the war, Farkistani cheered each rise in the global radiation level as much as anyone. Per capita, Farkistan was one of the biggest donors of radiation goodness world wide. But throwing nukes around like it’s cool comes at a price, which we have only just discovered.
Out of the ashes of nuclear anarchy rose something better left undisturbed. The crew of the FSS Dynamite Monkey was among the first to notice something amiss.
Instead of responding to taunts by throwing explosives and/or feces the Dynamite Monkeys went berserk and tried to feast on the intestines and brain matter of the ship‘s Farkers. From there it didn’t take long for the problem to become obvious, evidenced by the large contingent of the animated dead attending this erection rally.
Farkistan is at the moment suffering from what a spokesman for the ministry of Truth describes as "a minor zombie infestation."
Many prominent members have fallen victim. Here we see GypsyFire and DragonGem, both dressed up to mourn the end of the war, roaming the streets.
In the picture below we see WickedJ, barely recognized by his beard and unkempt appearance. Remember kids, being a zombie does your looks no good. On second thought he looks pretty good in this picture.
Not even the lolcats were safe…
Still, even zombies seem to hold their erections dear. When the polls opened the queues ran long outside Erection Central. Voting progressed in an orderly fashion, though some claim that there used to be less dismembering and gorging last time. Here's Tumultuous Papaya enjoying a breadless finger sammich immediately after casting her vote.
So why does it seem like it is business as usual in Farkistan? Surely having a significant part of the alliance turned into raving zombies should affect the day to day routines. Not as much as you would think. To clarify, we bring science. The chart on the left shows what your regular Farker’s brain is devoted to. Beside it to the right is the same view but from an infected Farker:
Great thanks to the brave non-infected, erm… volunteer who made this study possible and our condolences to his friends and family.
A remedy is being worked on as we announce this to cure those affected. Attempts are also being made to harness the DNA sequence that replaces the “RL” part of the Farker’s brain with “EATING BRAINS!!!” So far the attempts have not been successful.
There is evidence this phenomenon is spreading to other parts of Planet Bob. A reliable source has provided this screenshot of a new government type to be implemented by CN Admin.
This surveillance intercept offers additional details of how this new Zombie government, coupled of course with a required Voodoo religion could radically change game play.
Not even the feared Farkistani Womens Korps with their deadly and delicious bacon rifles (BAK-47-HS) are likely to stand up to the onslaught of undead hordes marching slowly, slowly toward humanity's ultimate doom.
But there may be hope. This survival manual may hold the answers we seek.
Or not. Meanwhile, we know where to to look in times of trouble. To who we will blame for the Farkistan Zombie Apocalypse, the duly erected members of TotalFark Council for June, 2009:
Quadriplegic (Speaker of Council)
wickedj
Randomly Jim
Nuke Me Please
Tumultuous Papaya
We are so farked.