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Update: Matters of the Heart


Prince Imrahil

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First, read THIS to get up to speed.

Now that that's done...

I thought of something while I was in the shower moments ago (some great ideas come to me there). This guy is out of town for a few days (i.e. until Sunday). Tomorrow when I'm totally sober and have had some time to really think, I'm going to write something that is a bit more measured. It should be taken into account that that night, I unloaded a lot on him (no, not like that you sickos). It was probably a bit much for him to take. I'm not really sure what I will say to him (certainly, I won't recant anything I have already said because it was all true), but I think I only gave him a part of the situation while in my haste, I left out other crucial elements. Obviously this will require sober thought (which is slightly out of my reach right now), but this may be the last play I have, and I would regret not having it played.

To whatever end.

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I am 40 so I am going to impart to you some of the lessons I learned in my life when it comes to relationships, dosent matter what your sexuallity is.

1. Dont assume you know how the other person feels, let them tell you: Really I know thats simplistic but often (as you exampled above) people have a hard time getting out the whole narrative. Its very important to have patience specifically given the dynamics you have expressed in prior postings about "coming out".

2. Sometimes less is better: Its important to get out how you feel, but it dosent have to be a major event requiring hours of conversation and emotion. Sometimes saying things simply allows the other person a quicker processing time and the ability to respond in a concise manner.

3. Emotions are real: If you feel it, its real. Dont get to caught up on others dismissive nature of their feelings or your reactions. The key here is, is to make sure you understand why you feel a certain way and how you plan to deal with it. Honesty, is paramount to being at peace with yourself.

Just a couple of tips, sexual preference isnt important to me really, Im a hetro male with kids probably old enough to be your father. My best simplest advice to you is, spending time in reflection negates time living in the present which, if done at length can compramise the future.

tl;dr: yeah tell him, get it all out but be mindful of the delivery and the genesis of the feelings.

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