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Update: Broken Hearted


Prince Imrahil

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BrokenHeart.jpg

Last night was my friend Erik's birthday and a bunch of us were with him to celebrate. There was a particular person there whose name is Ian. I have had an enormous crush on this guy (if you saw his eyes, you would too...even the heteros but I digress) since July, so we are talking five months. I finally manned up and told him how I felt about him. Shot. Down. He was nice enough to hand me a parachute, so at least there's that (he said he wasn't looking for anything serious). I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I feel a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders since I'm not holding anything in anymore. On the other hand, I'm sad about the rejection part. I am really glad that I won't have to deal with regret from saying nothing, and that's my solace in this situation. I have spent the last hour wallowing in misery (also known as my version of therapy), but I feel a lot better now. Hopefully there are more rainbow fish in the sea.

P.S. I saw Erik this morning and apparently he had done something after he left the bar that resulted in a hospital visit (he had a wrist band on) and stitches on his chin. He doesn't know what happened. That's what I call a good birthday.

"Time For Moving On" by Patrick Park is my song of the moment.

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Now, Whiskey ;)

Seriously, things will get better with time.. forgetting is always a good rememdy ;) We usually tend to give great important to close unimportant matters which will make us laugh some time after... courage ;)

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I demand pics of his eyes.

I would except 1)he isn't exactly out to his family (except one of his sisters) but mainly 2) I don't have one. However, they look roughly like this:

Sapphire1.jpg

I was talking to a friend about the situation and she said maybe he'll "come around" and maybe him not being out is having some effect. All I can say is that I put my feelings out there when they weren't before, so at least I gave him something to think about. I'm not really sure about waiting around versus maybe pursuing something else (I found out that same night that someone was interested in me...what a night). Right now however, I'm just dealing...or something like that.

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I was talking to a friend about the situation and she said maybe he'll "come around" and maybe him not being out is having some effect. All I can say is that I put my feelings out there when they weren't before, so at least I gave him something to think about. I'm not really sure about waiting around versus maybe pursuing something else (I found out that same night that someone was interested in me...what a night). Right now however, I'm just dealing...or something like that.

Don't wait. If he comes around and you're available then score, but don't put yourself on pause just for that small chance.

Also, I suggest trying your best not to be around this guy for the next little while. If you have too many mutual friends that it's inevitable then them's the breaks, but I've been in a similar situation, and trust me being around him before you're done dealing is not likely to help.

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