Defense Show in Zzzptmacan

[zzzptm]

The observer from the HAE hurried to his seat. [i]This blasted city and its traffic! I should have been here an hour ago![/i] As he slipped into his chair, his neighbor smiled from behind mirrored sunglasses and a neatly-trimmed handlebar mustache.

"¡Hola, amigo! You're just in time for the fly-over." The sun glinted off his glasses and medals. He was the Himynamistan-HAE liaison officer. He pointed up at the HF-35 planes soaring overhead in flying V formation. "Brand new!"

"Yes, they're nice." The HAE observer squinted and tried to make out what they were carrying. [i]External missiles, there... obviously not in stealth mode...[/i]

The liaison interrupted the observer's squinting and scribbling. "Later today, you need to see the demonstration of the C-200. It's so powerful and accurate, yet so simple and reliable. Right here in our hands, today!"

The observer wondered, [i]What is he getting at?[/i]

The liaison smiled and spoke slower. "Keep it simple. That's our motto. Sure, we have some great technology. But we keep things elegant. We don't waste our time with heat-seeking bullets... or self-programmable UAVs... or... [i]energy weapons...[/i]" The liaison smiled broadly with that last item.

The observer struggled to keep from letting his face betray a confidence. [i]Do they know about our FOB? How can they?... They must![/i]

Trying to keep cool, the HAE observer said, "Well, ha ha... yes, all those things are tricky, to be sure. But figuring them out would be great breakthroughs in military technology."

"Oh, sure." The liaison kept smiling. "But it takes much more sophistication to make them practical. The cannon was a breakthrough in the 13th century, but it wasn't reliable on the battlefield until the 17th. There's stuff from science fiction we can dream about one day using, but weapons research has to be the art of the possible, don't you agree?" The liaison waited just long enough for the observer to start an answer, then said over him, "That's the design philosophy we follow here in Himynamistan. Take what we have now, and bring it up-to-date. Make practical developments in basic equipment for greater efficiency and efficacy. Some new blaster that can't be controlled won't be nearly as useful as finding a way to make a boot half as heavy, but twice as durable."

The HAE observer looked at the ground and started to speak again, only to be cut off. "You should see the maneuvers tomorrow." The liaison pulled out a flier with a schedule on it. "You'll see what a truly modern army looks like in action. Quite impressive, I assure you."

The HAE observer smiled sheepishly and looked over the flier. [i]I hate coming to these shows. Every three months, I have to endure this insufferable Himynamistani and all his propaganda about their technology. It's frustrating, it's humiliating, and it's not fair I always draw this duty. What does my CO have against me, anyway?[/i]

[Shadowsage]

OOC: I would never send an official so ill-prepared mentally and emotionally to another nation.

[zzzptm]

OOC: True, but one can't always micro-manage. I would prefer my liaison were more diplomatic and less abrasive, but good help is hard to find these days...

IC: "... and over here, you can see our newest modifications on our standard assault helicopter. Look at those rotors... totally normal, eh? Look again. That metal is exceptionally tough. Totally new process. Makes it more resistant to small-arms fire and near-miss flak. Now, I also want you to notice the reinforcement we've got on the tail structure. This is totally revolutionary..."

The HAE observer groaned inside as he took notes. [i]This guy's going on and on about everything, like some kid in a role-playing game talking about his character... Yes, I KNOW all about Himynamistan's technology and I KNOW all about their WRC skunkworks... our spies aren't lazy or anything... why does this guy take it upon himself to beat this stuff into my skull every three months?[/i] The observer nodded at whatever the liaison just said so he wouldn't repeat it. [i]If I can get out of here without him repeating anything, that'll be great... say, that autocannon mount looks different...[/i]