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Zombie Invasion Contained


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The military forces of Belka was called upon mid-saturday to assist neighbors with preventing the spread of a contaminated tofu supply. When the Grunder Defense Agency was asked about the meaning of using military forces to contain tofu, answers were far and few in between. It is now clear that tofu has kept dormant inside, some sort of parasite that takes control of the human host. Symptoms include wearing thick frame square glasses, wearing checkered shirts, listening to vinyl because it's "cool" and not due to sound quality, drinking of PBR beer and "chilling" at fair-trade supporting cafes. it was a major coup to get such a victory over the undead forces that ravaged Soaring Eagle - ending in only a few hours. In works of fiction, zombies have the ability to kill tank crews without explanation as to how entire modern military units could be wiped out. In reality, zombies cannot bite or scratch through tank armor or avoid machine gun fire. More on this soon as details are learned. -Live from Dinsmark




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