Search for Santa (Second Stage)

[Generalissimo]

[center][img]http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x251/CyberNationsStuff/Generalissimo-1.jpg[/img][/center][center][b]World Congress Building[/b], Generalissimo addresses the [i]World Congress[/i] assembly. . . [/center]"As you all know, Santa Claus never came.
There was no jolly days or holiday cheer, Christmas didn’t come this year. It has been a year without a Santa Claus, a truly Blue Christmas. Without a pack full of toys there was no a sack full of joys for millions of girls and for millions of boys. Christmas Day was not here; alas it was the least wonderful day of the year.

Why did Santa's sleigh never arrive?
There has been much speculation. . . [b]! ! ! -But Geralissimo has found the truth - ! ! ![/b]
Procinctia has found overwhelming evidence that Comrade Claus was kidnapped!
These satellite images, yes Procinctia has satellites, indicate that he was kidnapped.
These pictures were taken above a small Arctic enclave, the Island of Misfit Toys.
Santa has been kidnapped by ninjas, but this Geralissimo is a bad enough dude to the rescue him.
Sure Generalissimo *might* have been kidnapped by elite ninja in the past, but this time I’m ready.
Procinctia’s mighty fleet was sent into Arctic Circle, but was trapped the frozen ocean.
[b]This was clearly a ploy by the Misfit Toys to interfere with Generalissimo’s investigation![/b]
In relation Procinctia has unilaterally declared war on Island of Misfit Toys.
I have already successfully invaded The Island of Misfit Toys, I just didn’t announce it until just now.
Don’t worry, the situation is well in hand, my armed forces are currently mopping up misfit toy resistance.
[b]-Mission Accomplished- [/b][i]Take that Misfit Toys! [/i]Procinctia’s intelligence services are in the process of investigating possible involvement of a boat that can't stay afloat by (ruthlessly) interrogating Spotted Elephant, Choo-Choo with square wheels, bird that doesn't fly, and cowboy who rides an ostrich."




[i]Out of Character[/i]: This is very much not CNRP canon
[i]Out of Character Conversation is not permitted[/i]
If Out of Character Conversation is necessary start an Out of Character thread
[i]This thread relies *two* assumptions[/i]
(1) Procinctia is somehow a world power (with nukes and stuff)
(2) The world of Christmas specials is completely real