Don't believe him, he's a liar. He knows nothing about the CN game mechanics.
I have nothing to add, the post you made above shows that you are interested and motivated to play the game, the only thing you should do know is to find an alliance that fits your ideals. That will most likely be the most difficult part, CN features several great alliances.
Don't worry to much about nation growth, it's the social and political aspect that makes this game the most fun.