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Plesetsk Cosmodrome Nearing Completion
MIRNYY - According to Reijo Muurinen, the refit of Plesetsk Cosmodrome should be complete in around two weeks.
"All the equipment we need is now in the area," said the Uralican leader of the international team of TOOL specialists working on the Cosmodrome to replace outdated and occasionally inoperable equipment. "We got our last shipment from Fish Master two days ago. The real trick now is to get the stuff installed, but we have a lot of people working on it. I'm really thankful that the Uralicans on this job are getting the chance to receive training from nationalities who already have full and successful space programs, like Fish Master, Irlande, and evilkokonut. We may even have enough training to start our own official space agency by later in the year, although at first the Cosmodrome will be under the jurisdiction of the Uralican Air Force. Actually, we are already working on plans for our first space-faring rocket, although its duty will only be to transport a satellite."
In the meantime, there is talk of merging Mirnyy into Plesetsk, for much the same reasons as Lesnoy is set to merge into Nizhnyaya Tura at the beginning of July. This move would nearly triple the size of Plesetsk, and mean that Mirnyy wouldn't have to worry about drafting a separate charter even though it is plenty large enough to apply for city status.
"The whole 'closed town' thing has become something of a stigma in Uralica," Muurinen said. "I think Uralicans see it as a relic of the secretive, paranoid elements of two imperialistic societies - the USSR and Old Russia - as much as said societies would balk at the suggestion. I think some parts of the Old United States have some of the same sentiment. Anyway, it's only natural that the two should be merged because of their proximity and mutual dependence on each other."
Uralican News
Living's Easy In Pre-Summer Uralica
CHEBOKSARY - It would seem the Uralican economy has been on a slow rise over the last three weeks, after having plateaued two weeks after the end of the so-called "Second Unjust War."
According to Dr. Esa Miettinen, the Dean of Business at Uralikan Yliopisto, this is normal.
"The leadup to summer always sees a gradual pickup in the economy," he says. "In Uralica, a nation where there are so many grade-school teachers, you have them planning for 'year-end fun stuff.' You have parents of these kids planning for summer vacations. You have parents of other nations' kids planning for summer vacations in Uralica. The largest market increases during the summer are in tourism and souvenirs, food sales, sporting goods, and video games. Yes, I did say video games. UralTek's strongest quarter since its foundation has always been quarter two, that is, May-June-July. (An aside, I picked myself up a copy of Demonslayers yesterday. That game is so much fun!)"
For evidence of the impact of tourism on Uralica during the summer, one need only head towards any city with a beach or with something else fun to partake in. Take Cheboksary for example. As I report, the regionally-famous Cheboksarsky Zaliv (when one says "The Zaliv" in Uralica, they mean this artificial bay) is pretty much swarming with both tourists and locals wanting to partake in a little summer revelry, even with the temperatures only around 16 degrees Celsius.
Syktyvkar is usually buzzing this time of year as well, and this year is not disappointing. Uralic Cultural Centre ticket sales are up by 52% over last quarter.
Religion
Theophilos II: Uralica Is "Abundantly Blessed"
YEKATERINBURG - Theophilos II arrived in Yekaterinburg yesterday afternoon after holding a night service at the Cathedral Of St. Elizabeth in Pervouralsk on Sunday night.
Apparently the nation has left a good impression on the aging Patriarch of Constantinople, as he had nothing but good to say about it from his time there. He has decided to extend his stay an extra three days so he can partake in an ecumenical service at the Church of the Resurrection, where he held an Orthodox service on the night of 30 May.
"This nation is abundantly blessed, both in the works of the Lord's creation, and in the enrichment of the Holy Spirit," he said in a recent interview. "I am very glad to have been able to finally come to Uralica, and I have been treated with nothing but the love of Christ since I set foot in it."
He says his last act in the nation, to come on Monday, 14 June, will be a gift to Uralica, from all the patriarchs.
Sports
Condensed Upper Level Standings Update Before Transfer Window Opens
For full standings visit www.ujpl.com.ur (OOC: Kolmonen and Nelonen standings will be available later in the week upon request.)
(13 matches played, 33 remain)
Bolakliiga
1. Sikkivukarin Palloseura (SiPS) - 39 points
2. Dinamo Kirov - 39 points
3. Zavod Ural Solikamsk - 33 points
4. Telekom Pazhga - 33 points
5. Dinamo Arkhangel'sk - 30 points
6. Trátyi TK - 25 points
7. Kirovin JK - 25 points
8. Udmurtiya Izhevsk - 24 points
9. Amkar Perm' - 23 points
10. Transit Sosnogorsk - 18 points
11. Mashinostroitel Kirov - 17 points
12. Spartak Ukhta - 17 points
13. Dinamo Vologda - 15 points
14. FK Vorkuta - 14 points
15. Metafraks Gubakha - 8 points
16. CSKVC Kirov - 6 points
17. FK Kotlas - 6 points
18. FK Kirov - 4 points
19. FK Syktyvkar - 3 points
20. FK Inta - 3 points
Ykkönen
1. Mordovia Saransk - 39 points
2. Ural Yekaterinburg - 36 points
3. Öskölömen PK - 34 points
4. Fortuna Nizhny Tagil - 31 points
5. Usovuoren JK - 26 points
6. Turan Ukhta - 26 points
7. Pechorski SK - 24 points
8. FK Ukhta - 21 points
9. Spartak Yoshkar-Ola - 20 points
10. Spartak Kirov - 18 points
11. Krylja Uralikov Glazov - 17 points
12. Bumazhnik Solikamsk - 17 points
13. Isoustiukin PK - 16 points
14. CSKA Syktyvkar - 12 points
15. Khimik Koryazhma - 11 points
16. Mashinostroitel Aleksandrovsk - 10 points
17. Olimpia Kirovo-Chepetsk - 8 points
18. FK Kudymkar - 5 points
19. FK Berezniki - 4 points
20. Lokomotiv Kotlas - 0 points
Kakkonen West
1. Sever Murmansk - 39 points
2. Severstal FK Cherepovets - 39 points
3. Mennonites FC Pazhga - 37 points
4. Stolitsa Yoshkar-Ola - 33 points
5. Kirssin Palloseura (KiPS) - 33 points
6. Sysola Syktyvkar - 28 points
7. Magyar LK Tráty - 27 points
8. Mashinostroitel Severodvinsk - 22 points
9. Mari FK Yoshkar-Ola - 22 points
10. Liv JK Käkisalmi - 18 points
11. Mordvin FK Krasnoslobodsk - 15 points
12. Komi FC Syktyvkar - 14 points
13. CSKVC Syktyvkar - 12 points
14. Sapmi FK Montsa - 11 points
15. Eesti JK Vaahruše - 10 points
16. Karjalan JK Viipuri - 10 points
17. Veliski FK - 7 points
18. JK Trakt - 6 points
19. Sikkivukarin Suomalaisen Palloklubi (SSP Syktyvkar) - 0 points
20. Arsenal Syktyvkar - 0 points
Kakkonen East
1. Khalmer-Yu Town - 39 points
2. Energiya Chaykovsky - 31 points
3. Rossia Krasnokamsk - 30 points
4. Nenets FK Naryan-Mar - 30 points
5. Octane Perm' - 29 points
6. CSKA Vorkuta - 27 points
7. Progress Inta - 26 points
8. Russki FK Yekaterinburg - 23 points
9. Obyugra FK Surgut - 21 points
10. FK Yekaterinburg - 21 points
11. CSKA Ukhta - 18 points
12. Udmurt FK Izhevsk - 17 points
13. Burevestnik Izhevsk - 17 points
14. FK Naryan-Mar - 14 points
15. FK Sarapul - 13 points
16. FK Kungur - 10 points
17. Pshenitsa Kudymkar - 6 points
18. FK Bolak Ukhta - 3 points
19. CSKVC Ukhta - 3 points
20. Traktor Berezniki - 0 points
Battle Of Syktyvkar In Kurri Trophy Finals
SYKTYVKAR - at least there won't be any need for a plane.
As expected, one goal determined the fate of the Jokerit Syktyvkar-CSKA Kirov series, and it was after four overtimes that Jokerit defenceman Timo Lappinen belted a flipped puck past a stunned Dmitry Rosenov to win Game 7 4-3, in the longest game in Uralican hockey history.
Tired and dejected, CSKA return to Kirov and begin planning for next season, although with the season they had this season, they have clearly emerged as a fourth major power in the Uralican game.
"They took us to the limit," said Jokerit forward Marko Suominen. "They play a very physical game, and we were unable to use our speed to beat them, so we had to grit down and bite the bullet. The series could have gone any which way, really. We could have just as easily been swept."
Truer words could not have been spoken. Of the seven games, only one - Game 3, which ended a 3-2 win for Jokerit - didn't go to overtime, and the only reason it didn't was a goal by Risto Tuominen with 8 seconds left. And CSKA almost tied it with a second left, with left winger Vladimir Torbeyev hitting the crossbar with his team's net empty.
One thing is for certain, and Torbeyev made that very clear in the interview - "We'll be back next season for sure."
The finals are set to start on Thursday, and HK Syktyvkar, led by the UIHL's three-time scoring champ Matvey Kolpakov, the so-called "Mari Gretzky," say they are looking forward to facing their arch-rivals once again.
"Whenever you get HKS and Jokerit together in the same rink," says Kolpakov, "you are guaranteed a good series. Although we would have likely also had a good series had we gotten CSKA as opponents as well."
Jokerit star Markus Hansen says the key to beating HKS is to shut down their top line.
"Kolpakov and the Schaeffers [Kurtis and Dirk] are scary good if you give them even a centimetre," he said. "The trick to beating HKS is shutting them down offensively, but it's an incredibly hard trick to pull off. We will try, that's for sure."
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