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Excerpts from the Uralican Daily News, 29 May 2010 Edition


Uralica

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Final Reports Issued Regarding Waste Cleanup

USOVUORI - although the cleanup of a toxic spill just outside of Koslan, Northwest Uralica, was finished nearly a week ago, the final paperwork regarding said spill, the causes, and the measures taken to clean it up, was only handed in yesterday, and released to the public this morning.

The spill, which was first detected in mid-April by some loggers in the area, cost Uralica two and a half million dollars and close to fifteen square kilometres of forest land to clean up. The official cause, which is accurate according to Janne Hirvonen, who was on-site in the investigation and cleanup process every day until its completion, was corrosion of the containers holding a chemical weapon compound in a derelict chemical weapons depot near the town of Koslan, which is mere minutes from the county seat of Usovuori.

The area that was hardest hit was the central section of the Mezen' River, although trace amounts of the chemicals were detected as far away as Kamenka, the town opposite the city of Mezen' in its namesake river's delta. Efforts to repopulate the river's fish stocks are already underway.

Patriarch Of Constantinople Visits Uralica

PAZHGA - The spiritual leader of Eastern Orthodoxy, Patriarch Theophilos II of Constantinople, was greeted by a large crowd of Uralican Orthodox faithful as he arrived at Kaido Ojastu International Airport in Syktyvkar yesterday. The aging patriarch wanted to see Uralica first-hand, as he had apparently not done so before. Among the people on hand to greet him were Metropolitan Nikolay Kosov, composers Ruslan Kamyshin and Nikolay Shevchuk, and noteworthy Uralican footballers Bosko Levishin, Miron Smertin, and Artur Kuznetsov.

The patriarch is reported to be staying for two weeks, and will participate in an Orthodox night service in the Church of the Resurrection in Pazhga tonight.

Sports

HK Syktyvkar Into Finals, CSKA And Jokerit Even Steven

SYKTYVKAR - who didn't call this one?

Usovuoren JKK could just as easily have run into a brick wall. HK Syktyvkar wrapped up a disturbingly brief series against the Finnish team from Usovuori with a 6-1 massacre in Usovuori last night, so the "Men In Black" return to Syktyvkar to await the winner of the currently-tied CSKA Kirov-HK Jokerit series. CSKA brought the series to two games apiece with a 4-3 overtime win in Syktyvkar last night, after losing the only regulation loss of the series (3-2) three days earlier.

Pre-Transfer Window Thoughts

This article was the weekly winner of a ujpl.com.ur contest for football writing.

Football fans had best be watching their team's movements in the coming weeks. The transfer window opens on 10 June, and very few teams aren't at least somewhat involved. In fact, I believe SiPS went so far as to say they were completely happy with their team and weren't going to make a single move. Good on them - they don't really need to. Not with three of the best five players in Uralican football this season - Joni Rasimus, Raimo Suominen, and Hessu Öörni - on the squad. Heck no.

There are several B-Liiga calibre, lower-level players that could be moving, though. Now Khalmer-Yu Town said that none of their players are for sale, and that they would not entertain any offers. So I guess that means Leonid Voloshenin, among others, isn't going anywhere fast.

But what about Stolitsa Yoshkar-Ola goalkeeper Csaba Szálay? Rumour has it that half the Bolakliiga is interested in acquiring his services.

Centre mid Pentti Kotamäki, striker Dmitry Bumazhnikov, left back Foma Khrushchyov, and right mid Tamás Toth from YugraMash Kogalym are all up for sale, and with YugraMash being so far ahead of the competition in the Nelonen H1 that it's getting ridiculous, this should be a breath of fresh air for football fans on the east side of the Urals. It's already rumoured that Trátyi TK is interested in Toth, although I don't know why they would be with István Sándor having a good season as it is.

Sever Murmansk may lose two of its best, but they won't come cheap by any means. Goalkeeper Ulrik Sandberg and left back Jonas Strömgren, both Saami, are on interest lists in both Bolakliiga and Ykkönen alike, and add to that the possibility of interest from Finnish striker Kari Härkönen in going elsewhere, and Sever might find itself in an interesting situation after the window. But with arch-rival Severstal Cherepovets being scouted, Sever most certainly aren't alone.

18-year-old IPK/national team defender Martin Roos apparently wants out of Isoustiuki, as he feels the team's offence isn't good enough to be a contender in the Ykkönen. However, the only B-Liiga team that's showed interest thus far is FK Kirov. That said, with Milan Sorokin looking to gut FK Inta, one can never be 100% sure.

There are also players within the Bolakliiga who might be changing teams, either to other B-liiga teams or lower-level teams. Make no mistake about it, FK Inta will be transfering players, most likely in the downward direction. Rumours out of Northeast Uralica have some players from the back end, most notably Moroz "The Giveaway King" Rybin, backup goalkeeper Aleksi Toivola, and right back Boris Kozlov going for next to nothing.

A bit more surprising was Vyacheslav Kudymov handing in a transfer request, but that depends on whether or not you sympathise with him having to abide Mashinostroitel Kirov's lack of offence this season. Only Kirovin JK has scored fewer out of teams in the top half of the league. Speaking of whom, 'keeper Immo Kivilahti has said he's staying put.

Another Bolakliiga player I'd see as a viable transfer option at this point is FK Vorkuta's Yoel Pankov. He says he's happy in Vorkuta, but I could see him going to a "better" club for the right price, mainly because I think his talent is wasted with a team that won't ever be much better than mid-table without some serious restructuring.

Anyway, with eleven days to go until the window opens, I suspect there are already some talks going on, although a premature move will cost the offending team a nice chunk of kanat.

Glazovski RMS Wins Inaugural Uralican Handball League Title

GLAZOV - Well, after a long season of handball, and an exciting last five matches, Glazovski RMS has edged KPK Pettora and Yoshkarolsky RMS to win the inaugural UHBL title. It did so with a 15-10 win over KPK Uhta, finishing the season with 49 wins and 11 losses. KPK Pettora and Yoshkarolsky RMS both had 48 wins and 12 losses.

Syktyvkarsky RMS won Division II on head-to-head results against Petroskoin KPK, as both teams finished the season with 52 wins and 8 losses. Petroskoin KPK and Julserolan KPK join the Division II champs in promotion, while HBV Patschke, RMS Fortuna, and Kudymkarsky Kruzhsky RMS are relegated to Division II.

Wild Footy Week Sees FK Inta Finally Win A Match

INTA - Milan Sorokin was grinning from ear to ear at the end of Saturday, as he declared that forward Maksi Vilppula and mid Bogdan Shishkov earned themselves a spot on the "no-transfer" list after the two combined for both goals and assists in FK Inta's 2-1 win over FK Syktyvkar.

He also expressed great confidence in captain/starting 'keeper Vyacheslav Tikhonov, and in defenders Daniil Bykov and Lanssi Möttölä.

"We are definitely showing signs of improvement," said the long-suffering Inta manager. "And finally, some of the players are starting to clue into the tactics I've been trying to use all season."

In other news, Udmurtiya Izhevsk continues to spiral downward, losing to Trátyi TK, a team that they seem to have trouble beating (it was TráTK who made Udmurtiya exit this year's Kanslerinkilpi early), by a score of 3-2. There was only one other match of actual note, which saw Zavod Ural Solikamsk come back from 2-1 down to beat Dinamo Arkhangel'sk 3-2, with Fedor Poustovoitov scoring the winner in stoppage time.

The Ykkönen had more than its share of turkey shoots, with some being one-sided (Mordovia Saransk 4-0 over FK Kudymkar, ÖPK 3-0 over Bumazhnik Solikamsk) and some not so one-sided (UJK 4-2 over Mashinostroitel Aleksandrovsk, FK Ukhta 3-2 over FK Berezniki). Lokomotiv Kotlas continues to lose without scoring, as they lost 2-0 against Spartak Kirov. Speaking of Spartaks, the one from Yoshkar-Ola seems to be recovering from their horrendous start to the season, now in the upper mid-table range after cracking .500 for the first time in club history, with a 2-1 win over CSKA Syktyvkar.

(EDIT: Spell, I can not. :P)

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