[Response to Recent Events in Farkistan]

 

 

Our duly-elected council consisting of myself, CountryMouse, Kahiel, beachrat, and Rampage3 have drafted the SIXTH charter of Farkistan and have ratified it. We appreciate the support of all our current and soon-to-be treaty partners during this transitional period. Thank you.

The Sixth Charter of Farkistan


Preamble:
I, for one, welcome our new Fark overlords.


We the Farkers, fap fap fap.


Farkistan is ruled by Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Drew Curtis (PBUH) through whom all things are possible, and from whom we derive the privilege of calling ourselves FARK.


In our leader's absence, we do our best to govern ourselves according to his holy drunken example, as revealed to us in the magnificent realm of Fark.com.




Article 1: The TotalFarkers
/ Just as those who give of themselves (money) in the magnificent realm of Fark.com are recognized with added bonuses and a cool little icon next to their name, so too shall those who give of themselves to Farkistan be recognized with added responsibility and a cool little icon under their avatar. A Council of TotalFarkers shall serve as the guiding light of Farkistan.


// The TotalFarkers shall be erected, according to the erection procedures described in Article 6 of this charter, to a term of 3 months. To be eligible for erection, a candidate for TotalFarker must have been an active member of Farkistan for 30 days.


/// When counting the number of TotalFarkers thou countests to five, no more, no less. Five shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be five. Six shalt thou not count, neither count thou four, excepting that thou then proceed to five. Seven is right out.


//// The Speaker of the Council shall be the TotalFarker who received the most votes in that term's erection and, in addition to normal council duties, will also:
- Oversee and provide input on all domestic issues in Farkistan
- Make Official statements on the CyberNations Forum regarding Farkistan
- Appoint an Ackbar, a Sponsor, and a Walken - all with the majority approval of the other TotalFarkers
- Hold ownership of IRC channels officially representing Farkistan, including #Farkistan
- In the event of a dispute arising from interpretation of the Charter or FArQ of Farkistan, the Speaker shall appoint an impartial arbiter to hear the arguments and decide the issue
- At the beginning of the last full week of each month, to post a "State of Farkistan" address in the Drew Square forum.


///// In the event that the Speaker of the Council fails to report for duty for a period of 7 days, or resigns, the position shall be filled by the remaining TotalFarker who received the most votes in that term's erection.  In the event that a TotalFark Council member fails to report for duty for a period of 7 days, or resigns, the position shall be filled only by an expedited special erections process as outlined in Article 6.


////// The TotalFarkers shall have the power to Greenlight:
By simple majority
- FArQs to ensure the continued smooth(ish) operation of Farkistan
- Appointments made by the Squirrel
- Foreign treaties
By three quarters majority
- Declarations of war on other alliances
- Submissions of Charter amendments to a general vote
By unanimous vote
- Changes in the number of TotalFarkers



Article 2: The Squirrel
/ Just as the squirrel has long served as the mascot of the magnificent realm of Fark.com, bringing all that is Fark to the unwashed heathens of the internet, so too shall the Foreign Policy of Farkistan be directed by a Squirrel.


// The Squirrel shall be appointed by the Speaker of the Council, with approval by a majority vote of the Council, to serve a term of 3 months. To be eligible for appointment, a candidate for Squirrel must have been an active member of Farkistan for 30 days.


/// The Squirrel shall be aided in his duties by a deputy, who shall hold the office of Chipmunk. The Chipmunk shall be appointed by the Squirrel with the approval of the majority of the TotalFark Council. If necessary, the Chipmunk may be removed from office by the Squirrel with the approval of the majority of the TotalFark Council. A new Chipmunk shall then be appointed according to the process of this slashie.


//// In the event that the Squirrel fails to report for duty for a period of 7 days, or resigns, the Chipmunk shall assume the role of Squirrel for the remainder of the Squirrel's term or until new Squirrel is appointed by the Speaker of the Council.  A new Chipmunk can then be selected by the new Squirrel according to the process of the previous slashie. The Chipmunk will also serve as temporary Squirrel during an approved absence.


///// The Squirrel and Chipmunk shall be aided in their duties by several Nuts. Nuts shall be appointed by the Squirrel, and may serve as diplomats in the Squirrel's stead. Any negotiations performed by a Chipmunk or Nut must be approved by the Squirrel before being submitted to the TotalFarkers. Nuts may be removed at the discretion of the Squirrel or by a 2/3 majority of TotalFark Council.


////// The Squirrel shall have the power to:
- Oversee all Farkistani foreign affairs
- Oversee admission and masking of foreign diplomatsn
- Negotiate treaties with other alliances
- Enact treaties with other alliances, with the majority approval of the TotalFark Council
- Appoint Nuts to aid in his duties




Article 3: The Walken
/ Just as the Walken has long served as the representation of all things badass, so shall the Recruiting and HR of Farkistan be directed by a Walken.


// The Walken shall be appointed by the Speaker of the Council with the approval of the TotalFark Council. To be eligible for appointment, a candidate for Walken must have been an active member of Farkistan for 30 days. If necessary, the Walken may be removed from office by the request of the Speaker of the Council and with the approval of the majority of the TotalFark Council. A new Walken shall then be appointed according to the process of this slashie.


/// The Walken shall be aided in his duties by a deputy, who shall hold the office of Cowbell. The Cowbell shall be appointed by the Walken with the approval of the majority of the TotalFark Council. If necessary, the Cowbell may be removed from office by the request of the Walken and the approval of the majority of the TotalFark Council. A new Cowbell shall then be appointed according to the process of this slashie.


//// In the event that the Walken fails to report for duty for a period of 7 days, or resigns, the Cowbell shall assume the role of Walken. A replacement Cowbell shall be selected by the new Walken according to the process of the previous slashie.


///// The Walken shall further be aided in his duties by several Wheatons. Wheatons assist the Walken in any duties the fall within the responsibilities of the Walken's department, including but not limited to the running of erections, contacting members via the forums and/or in-game, providing input on official government information releases (both internal and external), assisting other departments with special projects at the direction of the Walken, recruitment of new nations into Farkistan and monitoring the sign-up thread. Wheatons shall be appointed by the Walken, but can be removed at the discretion of the Walken or by a 2/3 majority of council.


////// The Walken shall have the power to:
- Oversee admission and masking of new Farkers
- Moderate and maintain the forums
- Recruit new members to Farkistan
- Oversee the Erections process
- Appoint Wheatons to aid in his duties
- Appear on SNL at anytime he pleases




Article 4: Erections
/ TotalFark Council erections will occur every three months. Erections are to be presided over by the Walken.


// Candidates may nominate themselves or be nominated by others.


/// Erections shall occur according to the following timeline:
Day 1: Nominations begin
Day 2: Nominations continue
Day 3: Nominations end
Day 4: Erections begin
Day 5: ...
Day 6: Profit!


//// Terms shall begin on the first day of the month following the erection.


///// A TotalFarker can initiate a vote of no confidence in any other erected or appointed officer. Should the no confidence vote pass by a margin of three quarters of all remaining erected officials, the officer shall be removed and the position shall be filled according to the relevant articles of this charter.


////// If any Council seat should become vacant, a special erection shall be held, lasting for no more than two days.  The first day to be used only for nominations and the second day reserved for voting.




Article 5: Suck It, Libs
/ The Farkistani Military (Farkistan Defense Fleet) shall be presided over by an Ackbar, who is to be appointed by the Speaker of the Council and approved by a majority of the TotalFark Council. To be eligible for appointment, a candidate for Ackbar must have been an active member of Farkistan for 30 days. The Akbar may be relieved of duty at the request of the Speaker of the Council and the approval of the majority of the TotalFark Council.


// The Ackbar shall have the power to organize the military as he sees fit, and appoint whatever subordinate leadership he feels will best create an effective military.


/// The Ackbar shall have the power to authorize attacks, either aggressive or retaliatory, against unaligned nations. Attacks against aligned nations must occur either according to a declaration of war by the TotalFarkers or as a retaliatory measure cleared by the Squirrel. Aggressive attacks against aligned nations with whom Farkistan is not at war is asshattery, sanctions up to bannination from the alliance will ensue.


//// The Ackbar shall have full authority to conduct military operations under the general guidance of the Speaker of the Council, provided those operations abide by any foreign treaties passed by the TotalFark Council.


///// The Ackbar shall be aided in his duties by a second-in-command, who shall hold the position of Calrissian. The Calrissian shall be appointed by the Ackbar with the approval of the TotalFark Council. If necessary, the Calrissian may be removed from command by the request of the Ackbar or the TotalFark Council. A new Calrissian shall then be selected according to the process of this slashie.


////// In the event that the Ackbar fails to report for duty for a period of seven days, resigns at short notice, or is relieved of duty, the Calrissian shall assume the role of Acting Ackbar for the duration of the process of the Speaker of the Council appointing a new Ackbar. The Acting Akbar will then return to Calrissian status until such time as the new Akbar designates a replacement Calrissian. The Calrissian will also act as Acting Ackbar while the Ackbar is on an approved absence.


/////// Espionage, either against Farkistan or another alliance, is asshattery of the first degree. Bannination will ensue.




Article 6: Forum Management
/ The Farkistan Forums shall never have less than 6 gubmint Admins: All TotalFarkers Council and the Walken. At no time shall any person be allowed admin rights to any Farkistan boards, features or functionality without being a full-fledged member of Farkistan.


// The Chipmunk, Cowbell, Calrissian and all FDF members holding a rank equal to or higher than "Commander" shall have no less than Mod status. The Calrissian mod status is restricted to the Ministry of Defense Forum. FDF mod status is restricted to forums under their area of responsibility within the Ministry of Defense Forum. The Chipmunk's mod status is restricted to the Foreign Affairs forum. The Cowbell's mod status is restricted to the Internal Affairs Forum, the Public Farking Forum, and the Sign-In Forum.


/// The Calrissian shall have the same forums access as the Ackbar, the Cowbell shall have the same forums access as the Walken, and the Chipmunk shall have the same forums access as the Squirrel; except without Admin status.


////The Farkistan forum's database is the sole property of its registered members.  Therefore it shall be guaranteed as a right that every user's private messages will remain private and shall not be infringed on for any reason.  Failure of an administrator or government member to respect these bounds will result in immediate bannination from the forums and expulsion from the alliance.




Article 7: Farkers
/ Farkers are required to register on the Farkistan forums to be considered members of Farkistan.


// Farkers are required to display "Fark" as their alliance affiliation and their forum member number in their nation profile at all times.  Failure to do so, and to fail to comply with the Walken's (or his designated representative's) request to do so, may result in being expelled from the alliance.


/// Requirements in the previous two slashies may be temporarily waived by majority vote of the TotalFark Council.




Article 8: Lighten Up, Francis
/ Lighten up, Francis. CyberNations is a game. Unbunch your panties, have a beer, and come hang out. Stop taking things personally. If you are stressing out, not having fun, or getting pissed off, take a break. It is a game for the love of god, and a free one at that. Go outside, when was the last time you saw the sun?


// The Squirrel, Walken, Sponsor, Ackbar, Chipmunk, Cowbell, Calrissian, Speaker of the Council, or any TotalFark Council member may request an approved absence from their duties, and may appoint someone to reign in their stead with majority approval of the TotalFark Council. This approved absence is just a release from normal duties; forum and game activity may remain the same during that time. Requested absences by Nuts and Wheatons are approved by their respective department heads.




Article 9: Slashies
/ To change a slashie in this charter, a Farkistani must submit the proposed slashie for consideration by the TotalFark Council. The TotalFark Council may Greenlight the proposed change by a three quarter majority vote. If the change is greenlit, a poll will be created for a general vote of all Farkistani member nations. If, after the poll has remained open for three days, the slashie has the approval of two thirds of the voters, it will be approved and this charter will be edited in accordance.




Article 10: Miscellaneous Ass Covering
/ All foreign treaties and agreements entered into under any previous charter shall remain enforceable against the Farkistani government under this charter.

[Response to Recent Events in Farkistan]

The word "tryhard" comes to mind.

 

Always nice to see Methuselah's father stop by one of our threads.

[Response to Recent Events in Farkistan]

Greetings, citizens of planet Bob. It is with a heavy heart that I announce the removal of the positions of Submitter and Squirrel and the
coming of a new age for Farkistan. The Farkistani People's Front has long supported overthrowing the tyrannical and unethical body of
career-politicians that have maintained a vice-like grip on our erections for the past two years. What has the Subby ever done for us?
Well, after our recent erections were held, the new would-be submitter and squirrel have taken it upon themselves to make a mad grab for power.
The TotalFark council, backed by The Farkistani People's Front, does NOT recognize the claims of these splitters. The only people we hate
more than the Romans are the Farking People's Front of Farkistan! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not some
farcical aquatic ceremony. Our duly-elected council consisting of myself, CountryMouse, Kahiel, beachrat, and Rampage3 are united in
our claim. Together we will be crafting a new charter and have it ratified very soon. We appreciate the support of all our current and
soon-to-be treaty partners during this transitional period. Thank you.

[Response to Recent Events in Farkistan]

That's BS 905 and you know it. You guys didn't come to the table with any kind of serious offer. It was just the Cable/905 show...and if we didn't like it, we could GTFO. With Cable, I should've seen this coming. He probably had this in mind from the moment he came back to Fark. We welcome him back with open arms, thinking he wants to retire here, then he stabs us in the back.

 

Expect incoming.

[Federation of Armed Nations announcement]

R.I.P. Jack. Farkistan and I send our condolences to FAN and the rest of Jack's family. Still stunned.

[Commonwealth of Sovereign Nations - Nuclear Proliferation League Announcement]

Congrats, guys!

[What say you, Zapulon?]

[img]http://www.techinasia.com/techinasia/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/demotivation.jpeg[/img]

Oh, wait....

Thanks, and congrats to the rest of the council!