I left the New Pacific Order some months ago, in February of this year. The short reason: I was tired. The long reason involves saying some things that are against the terms of use for this blog, so they will remain my own. Sufficed to say, I was fed up. I had seen every level of government corrupted from the inside, and those who stood in a position to change it.... did nothing. That wasn't the Pacifica I had fought for. It wasn't even a shadow of the same alliance.

So, after taking a much needed break from Bob, I rejoined the ranks of new nations looking to be recruited. Sparta was the most enthusiastic, and the most convincing. I was familiar with them from a diplomatic point of view, but not a political one. I figured, as they had been allied with my former alliance, I would be accepted there even with my background, and perhaps allowed to live out my days in this world in peace.

Imagine my surprise when I come back from vacation to find us at war with the NPO. I have spent days, weeks even, scrambling to try and make sense of all this. And just when I think I have a handle on what's going on, someone else jumps up and does something profoundly stupid, making my head hurt all over again. I took up arms against those I swore to myself and others I would never fight, because my sense of loyalty was called up by my new allies.

I detest this war, I cannot support the politics behind it, but I have to say... it was a long time coming. While I did not (and still do not) agree with the methods of previous attempts to "dismantle the tyrants", their reasoning was sound. It still is to this day. The New Pacific Order is not what the members think it is, and for the first time I really understand the pity that was shown myself and others in my alliance last summer. We had no idea what we were supporting, no idea that we were in the wrong.

They still don't know it. If any of them should happen across this blog (unlikely as that is), their response will be one of outrage, derision, or even disgust. They will see me as a deserter, a traitor, and they will feel that NPO, as always, is in the right. Sadly, this is no longer the case. I wish with all my heart that there was some way to end this without the bloodshed of my former comrades, who still serve a corrupt set of masters without knowing it, but until they see for themselves what is happening, that can never be.

I implore you, members of Pacifica... ask the difficult questions of your leadership. Ask them why so many others felt this war was necessary. Ask them why the pleas of former members for understanding fell on deaf ears. Ask them why they hide behind your nation, building you up again and again simply to be torn down, rather than fight this war themselves. We are not at war with you, we are at war with those who would seek to use you for their own gain. It was difficult for me to ask those questions when I was there. I was afraid. I had seen what questions had earned my friends. Demotions, exile, even ZI. But there comes a time in every nation's career that we must look to our allies and ask "why". And I pray that you receive an answer, where I and others like me never did.

It is true, timing is everything. Had I waited just a short while longer, I would no doubt be on the opposite side of this conflict, believing I was fighting for right, truth, justice, and honor. I believe that now, that I fight for these things. Does it make either one wrong? And if so, which one? I doubt that I, or anyone else directly involved, can answer that without bias and slant.